Life of Lily
by Sweets5236
Summary: Lily Evans breaks at the beginning of her seventh year. Her life is currently a mess and she is confused and conflicted. Along her road to recovery she makes new friends and falls in love with the boy whom she despised.
1. Game Plans and Letters

**Edited: Aug 9, 2012**

**Disclaimer: None of the recognizable themes or characters belongs to me.**

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The sun was starting to peak out of the clouds after the many days of rain that had been. Its lingering scent laced the musty halls. Dew was fresh on the grass, creating the effect that it was sparkling. Hogwarts always looked amazing in the days between September and October. The sun would hit the majestic castle just right and produce a stunning sight to see. It was just like a picture out of a storybook. It was _magical_; that's just what Hogwarts was though, a school of magic for young witches and wizards.

At this time of year the weather was perfect to sit outside, study, or mess around in and the teachers were always in a sunnier mood. They gave easier essays and their grading lacked its usual harshness. Some kids suspected this was because the teachers were about to finish the first month of school (which was always the 2nd worst time of year, right next to exams). Others thought they just enjoyed having the students being outside rather then inside. Both were understandable reasons.

The only thing better then a beautiful fall day at Hogwarts was a beautiful fall _Saturday_. The chance to sleep in and do whatever one wanted all weekend brought smiles to the students' faces, including the one of Lily.

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Head Girl Lily Evans pulled herself up and out of bed while slipping into her furry pink slippers at the same time. It was a skill required if you didn't want cold feet in the morning. She yawned, pushed her long auburn hair out of her face, and quickly pulled it into a plait that hung down her back. A piece of her bangs fell into her eyes and she blew them out of the way. They flopped to the side of her face and luckily stayed there and that was certainly an accomplishment.

Lily trudged over to the bed of one of her best friends, Alice Prewett. Apparently being Head Girl also gave her the job as personal alarm clock to her longtime besties. It also meant that she had to patrol three times a week, write up Prefect schedules, and schedule school events and outings. As prestigious as the title was, it was more than a handful.

Lily yawned and stretched her limbs, relishing the feel. Her mind resembled that of one filled with sand, but it would soon awake and resume its usual quick thinking.

They had decided to have one of their famous late night sleepovers. Lily could only stand sharing a dorm with Potter for a short period of time. He may not be such an arrogant git this year, but Lily wasn't able to function properly with the excess of Marauders that always seemed to pop up every time she walked into the dorm she and James shared. She had no idea how James convinced her to let him give them the password. She must have been half asleep or _something_.

The Marauders. They were four of the most eligible guys at Hogwarts and were notoriously known for pulling all sorts of outlandish pranks. With their stunning good looks, charm, and ability to breeze by in class they were any girls' dream, anyone besides Lily and her friends that was. Having been victim to many of their pranks, the girls didn't quite appreciate their presence at the school.

James Potter was the ringleader of their little group, Head Boy to her Head Girl, and the bane of Lily's existence. Her theory was that he was born to annoy the living heck out of her. It was accurate enough as it seemed to the rest of the school. What with his constant date requests and egoistical mannerism he was a nightmare and he just happened to have an infatuation with his fellow Head Girl.

Sirius Black, who might as well been James' brother, was almost as bad, but Lily would prefer his presence any day over Potter. For some reason the female population of Hogwarts found his sarcastic comments and "bad boy" look irresistible. Lily of course suspected he wasn't half the player he was made out to be. Sometimes though, he'd be lucky enough to throw out at least _one_ decent joke that _almost _made Lily smile.

Remus Lupin was the most bearable of the horrible group and was actually her good friend. He was bookish and intelligent and put up a good argument on Transfiguration theories. He had been Lily's study partner for as long as she had been at Hogwarts. Remus had a more...difficult life then the rest however. You see; he was a werewolf. It was a fact few knew of due to the prejudices of the world.

Peter Pettigrew was sadly what Lily suspected to be the Marauder's pity case and the final member of their quartet. He was small, mousy and horrible at Potions. Somehow he was still adopted into the group and was treated no differently then the rest. The other Marauders were able to throw away his shy side and corrupt him with their numerous pranks.

All thoughts of the Marauders aside, Lily returned to the task of awakening her friends.

"Alice…wakey wakey!" she said as softly as she could in a singsong voice. She knew her friend was easily startled. Who wasn't now days?

Alice bolted up and hit her head to Lily's on accident. Lily smiled. Something like that always happened and Lily assumed that she grew some sort of resistance to the pain for she never seemed to notice it anymore.

"Whoops" she giggled, "Sorry Lils" Alice jumped out from under her thick red and gold covers and retrieved the slippers Lily had gotten her for Christmas in their 3rd year. They were almost identical to Lil's but matched the soft blue color of Alice's eyes.

"C'mon…lets _try_ to wake Marley" Lily said walking over to the bed of Marlene McKinnon.

Lily had shared a room with Alice, Marley, and Hestia Jones for the past 6 years of her life. Three of the four girls had grown amazingly close while Hestia preferred to hang out with the Ravenclaws. They were on friendly terms, but not friendly enough that they could comfortably discuss ways to theoretically murder the Marauders.

"What should be try today…Game Plan #4 or #6?" asked Alice with a yawn.

After living with Marlene for as long as they had, they composed a list of the most effective ways to wake her up. You see, she was one of those people who wouldn't wake up if you blew a bull horn in her ear…not that she knew what a bull horn was. Marlene was a pureblood and her obliviousness to all things muggle was a source of constant entertainment to Lily. There was only one thing on the list that would cause immediate reaction from the sleepy Marley.

"Well…I want to get to breakfast a bit early…what about #3?"

" It's risky, but I like the way you think!" Alice said grinning mischievously.

She was slightly scared of the reaction they would likely get from their friend, but she _was_ a Gryffindor so she sucked it up and went on as planned. She walked over to the door of their dorm and knocked on it.

"Oh, hey Sirius! You wanna see Marlene? Well she's sleeping,"

Marlene instantly awoke and toppled out of the large bed.

"I'M AWAKE!" she screeched. Her long curly brown hair was sticking up everywhere (reminding Lily strangely of James) and her many blankets were now on the floor.

At the sight of their friend, Lily and Alice threw back their heads and laughed, leaning on each other for support. It had been a long growing suspicion that Marlene was harboring a tiny crush on Sirius. It felt good to forget about the darkening world if even only for a few moments.

"Oh Marley! You got it bad!" said Lily between giggles.

She wiped a tear from her face. Marlene grinned and started slowly walking towards them with an evil glint in her chocolate brown eyes. It was that same glint that the Marauders got whenever they devised a new way to boost their popularity while effectively embarrassing a large number of Slytherins.

Lily and Alice then took the opportunity to slowly step backwards and continue to run out the dorm screaming at the top of their lungs. They almost ran into a half-asleep Hestia who was coming back from the bathrooms and they knocked over a pile of books that were sitting on the stairs. Marlene chased them through the common room to the amusement of all the people present.

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Lily rounded a corner and looked behind her.

"I-I think we lost her-f-for now" she said panting, about to sit down on the ever so inviting floor.

"Nope! We have to keep going!" Alice grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the Great Hall.

They had only used Game Plan #3 once before and it ended very badly. Marlene was incredibly fast so they were lucky that they were able to make it as far as they had before she tackled them to the ground.

They burst into the hall and ran to the Gryffindor table before stopping.

Both girls were still in their pajamas and slippers (although Alice had lost one slipper in the common room).

"What do we do?!" Alice whimpered in mock distress.

Her eyes were darting from place to place trying to scope out a reasonable spot to go to. They needed to hide somewhere where Marley wouldn't expect them. She did NOT wish to get tickled by Marlene for half an hour. The only bad side about being friends with her was that she knew _all_ of your ticklish spots.

"There is only one thing left to do…" Lily replied grimly, her bangs falling into her face again.

"NO!" yelled Alice dramatically falling to her knees.

At this point all people in the great hall were looking at them. They were used to their antics by now and most were either amused or annoyed. Even the teachers were watching! Some students noticed that Professor Dumbledore had transfigured his robes into purple pajamas while Professor McGonagall frowned at him.

"Alice! Snap out of it! It NEEDS to be done!" Lily yelled pulling Alice off of the ground and looking her in the eyes while shaking her slightly. Alice sighed.

Suddenly they heard footsteps from the hallway next to the Great Hall. They also heard,

"LILY MARIE EVANS AND ALICE ANNE PREWETT! GET YOUR BUTTS OVER HERE!"

Alice was about to scream but Lily put her hand over her mouth. Most of the room was snickering by now…that or trying to figure out what they would do next.

Lily then dragged Alice over to the three (Remus was too nice to count) people they disliked most.

The Marauders, who had been watching everything, grinned at the sight of them.

"Hello ladies" smirked Sirius _trying_ to act suave. Sadly, he succeeded.

"Move over Black," replied Lily scowling.

She grabbed the shoulders of James Potter and Sirius Black and pushed them over, giving her just enough room to squeeze in between. Alice sat in between Remus and Peter in front of her. Lily waved her wand and transfigured Alice's light brown hair to a startling blonde and changed her own dark red hair to mousy brown. They ducked their heads at the same time and stared at the table intently. Both girls were shaking with silent laughter.

"I think I like it better red, Evans," James whispered in her ear as he twirled a strand of her now brown hair around his finger.

A shiver went up her spine at his close proximity. She really needed some kind of invisible bubble that she could walk around in to fend off boys like James. It would be a plus if it shocked those who touched it too. Lily swatted his hands away with a huff and scowled.

"Don't touch my hair, Potter," she hissed.

He raised his hands in surrender and Sirius chuckled. He was able to bet on his mother's life that they'd be dating by the end of the year. He didn't like his mother much though, so maybe that didn't really mean anything.

A few moments later Marlene ran into the Great Hall. Her hair was flying everywhere and she was only wearing one slipper. She was grinning in a way that said, "I'm making a complete fool of myself, but I don't care". She saw the whole room looking at her so she straightened up bit, widened her grin, and waved as if nothing was happening. She then walked nonchalantly down the hall to the long Gryffindor table, trying to make out the forms of her two friends.

She saw that they weren't at their usual spots and they weren't sitting with Hestia either. Her eyes moved right past the Marauders and suddenly flicked back. Who were those two girls? The looked almost familiar…and they had the same pajamas as Lily and Alice…Marlene grinned at the lengths her best friends went to to hide. Who knew Lily Evans had the guts to between Potter and Black! She casually walked over to them.

"Hello boys…may I ask who you have sitting with you this fine morning?"

Alice chose that moment to scream and hide behind Remus who ducked his head.

"Lily! Alice! I could barely recognize you! Oh and I _love _that new hair color you guys are trying out!" Marlene said in an overly sunny voice.

"Potter! Now is your time to impress me! HELP!" screeched Lily. She slid under the table and Alice did the same. The four boys scooted back together and Sirius looked at James expectantly.

"Boys…we must show our bravery by making sure that Marley here doesn't eat Lily…and Alice!" James declared courageously.

Marlene laughed evilly.

"I _highly_ doubt that you could hide them for long"

Peter cowered at that sentence and would have slid under the table too if Remus wasn't holding him back.

"I'm sure we can actually!" replied Sirius.

James, Sirius, and Marlene took the next five minutes to bicker about who was more cunning (little did they know that they were technically arguing about who was more Slytherin). Remus took those five minutes to grab a napkin and a pile of toast and pass it under the table. He grabbed a piece of parchment from his satchel and scribbled a quick message on it.

_Crawl under the table to the doors in a few minutes! I'll make sure James and Sirius keep Marley occupied. Why is she after you anyway? _

He slipped it under the table with a quill. Lily read it and passed her message back up.

_Thanks Remus! You're a lifesaver…Marley's after us because we used Game Plan #3 to wake her up._

Remus read the note. He remembered something similar had happened last year…he still had no idea what this "game plan" was.

_What's Game Plan #3?_

Lily responded almost immediately.

_Sorry, can't tell…we're going to make our escape!_

She tugged on James' pant leg, hoping he would understand. He looked down and she handed him the notes they had been passing. He read it quickly and turned back to his conversation with Marley.

Alice signaled for Lily to go first so they crawled under the long table, pushing people's feet out of the way as they did. They emerged from under the table and stood up, brushing their pajamas off lightly while looking triumphant.

Lily saw Professor McGonagall looking at them from the head table and she winced. At first the teacher's stare was fierce but it slowly turned into a small smile as if she was congratulating them on their escape. A look at Dumbledore showed an equally small smile on his face as if he didn't want the students to know he enjoyed the girls' antics. Lily grinned and dragged Alice out before Marley could realize they were gone.

##########

"Sirius! There is no way you can keep them from me _all_ day! Just admit it!" Marlene said getting annoyed.

"Why are you so mad at them anyway?" he asked innocently.

"They used Game Plan #3 again" Remus interrupted.

"What's that?"

"Can't tell you. And I am not _mad_ at them…I'm just very…annoyed" she said calmly.

"Why?" asked James running a hand through his hair as was habit.

"Well…they tried to prove something that they shouldn't try to prove by waking me up _while_ trying to prove it," she said thinking it our carefully.

"I'm confused," said Peter. Marley shrugged her shoulders.

"Revenge needs to be served." She ducked under the table before the boys could do anything. She found it empty.

"WHAT! WHERE ARE THEY!" she yelled. Remus was looking sheepish so she decided to bully him first.

"Remus...how long have they been gone?" she asked fiercely.

"Ummm" he couldn't decide whether or not he should tell her.

"They left 32 minutes ago Ms. McKinnon now I suggest that you keep your voice down or I will have no choice but to give all of you detention!"

Marley flipped around to see Professor McGonagall standing behind her.

"Oh yes…thank you…sorry professor, I'll just leave now." She gave the boys one of her death glares that left them shivering and walked out of the room set on finding Lily and Alice.

"That girl has spunk," said Sirius whistling.

##########

"Well Lils…how should we spend the rest of this fine day…hiding outside? Or hiding in the castle?" said Alice casually as they walked up to the Gryffindor common room to plan how they were going to avoid Marlene. She tried to push her short hair behind her shoulders and laughed. She had cut it over the summer and still wasn't used to this new length.

"Ummm-" Lily stopped at the sound of quiet sobs.

Being Lily, she rushed to the source of the crying. Alice followed her behind a tapestry of a large, roaring lion where they found a first year hugging her knees to herself. They recognized the little girl as a fellow Gryffindor. Tears were flowing down her face, leaving little streaks.

She looked a mess; there were bags under her small eyes and her hair looked like a literal rat's nest.

Before Alice could do anything besides look around the room and wonder whether the Marauders knew about it, Lily had sat down beside the girl and hugged her tightly. It was something she would do of course. Lily was one of the friendliest people Alice had met. She was always willing to help and was great with all the younger years even if she didn't really know them.

"Shhh…what's your name little one?" she said patting down the girl's dirty blonde locks of hair.

"An-n-nabe-lle" she choked out. Alice sat on the other side of Annabelle and grabbed her hand.

"Please tell us what's wrong Annabelle…so that we can help you" Alice whispered.

The girl withdrew her hand from Alice's and pulled a letter out from her black robes. The envelope was a matching color and slightly ominous.

_Dear Annabelle Michelson,_

_ We are sorry to say that last night at precisely 11:34 PM that your father and mother, Amy Lind and Carson Ray Michelson, were killed by Bellatrix Black in their home. We are sorry for your loss. You may attend the funeral on October 5__th__ at 8:00 AM sharp. You are allowed to bring students if you wish._

_Signed,_

_Millicent Bagnold_

_Mister of Magic, Order of Merlin First Class_

"I got it last night" she sniffled.

Tears came to Alice's eyes as she read the note over and over like a broken record. Lily already had them streaming down her face into Annabelle's hair. Bellatrix Black had graduated from Hogwarts just last year and she was already killing people. It was sickening that someone would want to rip the lives of others away.

It was common knowledge that she had joined the forces of Voldemort. A man so feared that few dared to say his name. He started out as an innocent student like they all had, but the monster was unleashed once he left school and it gained the power he needed.

Things were getting worse and they all knew it. Letters were being brought more and more often pronouncing that loved ones had died or been injured and more and more tears came. Every morning a new student would leave the hall in shock after receiving a letter stating that a loved one had been lost.

The professors shushed everything up and you never really knew what was going on unless you saw it yourself. Lord Voldemort was rising. Who knew one little note could ruin a perfectly fun and good morning.

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**This story is set after the first month of school in Lily's 7****th**** year. Please Review!**


	2. Best Friends and Tears

**Revised: August 20, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

Marley McKinnon looked _everywhere_ for her two best friends. She had to show them that waking her up in the morning with that particular plan was _not_ okay! She searched outside the large castle first. No one she asked had seen Lily or Alice anywhere near the lake, Whomping Willow, or the famous birch tree they always visited.

On those ugly exam days it became habit for the three friends to sit under its shade. Sadly, they had some competition most of the time because James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew tried to claim the tree too. It would always start the same way. James would walk over with Sirius at his side, tossing an old snitch around. Black would then try to use his "charm" to make them leave.

Once that didn't work, James would either resort to petty threats or mild embarrassment until Remus called him off. Usually it was a 'first come, first serve' kind of thing. No one dared go near the tree because there was almost always one of those infamous Lily/James fights occurring.

Marlene crossed outside off of her list once she checked the giant swaying tree for herself. She also checked almost every floor of the castle and all the secret passageways she knew of (she was currently aware of 4). She was becoming so desperate to find them that she almost was willing to ask the Marauders to help. She knew they had a knack for finding people…whether they wanted to be found or not. She had tried to discover their secret to success many times, but they were always able to squirm out of her piercing glares.

Eventually, the thought of revenge was gone for her mind and she just wanted to find them so that she wouldn't 'lose'. 

After asking Professor McGonagall if she had seen either of the girls, she traveled up to the Gryffindor common room to take a short break, maybe even give up until they showed up. She realized running around a castle all day could really wear a girl out. Now she was sweating, muddy, and probably stunk, plus she wasn't able to find her missing slipper. She would have to ask Lily to copy the one she had on. Marlene was dead awful at charms and anything she tried to do involving the subject usually ended in flames.

"Felix Felicis" she said to the Fat Lady who gave her a curt nod before returning to the talk she was having with her friend, Violet.

The portrait hole slowly swung open to reveal an extremely pale Lily sitting on the floor staring blankly into the fire with Alice by her side and the Marauders crowded around her in a circle.

Something was wrong with this scene. Marley scanned her red headed friend over and saw that her usually sparkly green eyes were dull; there wasn't even a _hint_ of a twinkle. Her limbs were frozen and by the looks on the others' faces, she had been like that for quite some time.

Marlene instantly rushed over and sat down next to her once her evaluation was finished. She threw an arm over her shoulder and pulled her close. The only motive left on her mind was to try and make Lily feel better. It was automatic. She was always there for Lily and Lily was always there for her. It was a wonderful system. They were each other's rescuing lifeboat in an endless ocean.

Marley McKinnon and Lily Evans had been friends since they first met each other on the Hogwarts Express in their first year. Marlene knew Lily like the back of her hand.

Lily always went into shock when bad things happened. Soon that shock would wear off, she would be sad for a bit, and then things would go back to normal. But, that was only what happened in the few cases Marlene had been faced with, for all she knew this could be completely different. Lily Evans wasn't one to crumble under stress.

She looked back to that they met day and sighed.

The sun had been shining brightly and the world was still naïve to the dangers it would soon face. Those freckle-creating rays of sun seemed as they it were welcoming Marlene to a brand new kind of magic, the magic of finally going to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She had jumped out of her purple clad bed, pulled on the first clothes she touched and ran downstairs.

Both of her parents were waiting for her when she got down. She remembered squealing in delight at the aroma of her favorite breakfast cooking (sunny-side up eggs, toast, and sausage).

Before she knew it they were out the door, grabbing each other's hands, and apparating to just outside of King's Cross Station.

It was truly wonderful running through the barrier to Platform 9 ¾ as she had seen her two older brothers do over the years.

She looked around and saw witches and wizards of all ages either running around pushing trolleys with hooting owls on top or running around following small children who had came to see their siblings off. She even saw several kids her age clinging to their parents, sobbing about how they didn't want to leave home. 'They must be insane!' she thought. 'Who wouldn't want to go to Hogwarts!'

After finding an empty compartment she struggled to get her trunk up above the seats. She pushed and squirmed, but to no avail.

"Mind if we sit with you?" she heard a friendly voice say.

Marlene turned around to see a petite girl with hair that looked like it was on fire and emerald eyes that sparkled like jewels. Behind her was a boy with pale skin and greasy black hair. Marlene decided to take an instant disliking to this boy. She often made snap decisions like that. Occasionally it made things worse, but her judgment wasn't too bad most of the time.

"As long as you help with my trunk," she said laughing as it fell open and exploded everywhere. Several t-shirts flew under the seats and a pair of pants landed on the boy's head.

The other girl laughed too and assisted her in piling the clothes messily back in while the boy snatched the pants off his head and watched looking annoyed, bored even.

"Lily Evans…I'm a first year" the girls said sticking out her freckled hand once the job was done. Marlene shook it and turned to the boy, waiting for him to introduce himself.

"This is my friend, Severus" Lily said scowling at him, like a mother would when a child was being rude. Marley held her hand up for him to shake, but she let it swing back at her side when he made no move to do so.

"I'm Marlene McKinnon…you can call me Marley if you'd like to" she said grinning and pushing her dark brown hair out of her matching eyes.

"Okay" said Lily as she plopped onto one of the red seats grinning just the same.

They spent most of the ride discussing what classes they were the most excited about and every once-in-a-while Severus put in his opinion too. He was obviously more reserved then Lily was. Things were running smoothly until the end of the ride when James and Sirius decided to drop in.

Their friendship was fast and they were obviously inseparable already. She had also noticed Lily scowl when they walked in. Perhaps they had met already, she had thought.

"Hello ladies" said Black as he slid next to me. He was rather suave even back then…he was pretty cute too.

Potter went and sat on the other side of Lily and grinned at her while running a hand through his already messy hair. She frowned and tried her best to ignore him.

"I don't believe we introduced our selves yet" he continued looking only at Marlene, "I'm Sirius Black and this here is James Potter" he said pointing to James.

Marley had actually grown up with James. They were both part of some of the only decent pureblood families so they had been friends since they were little. She grinned at him.

"Marley McKinnon. That over there is Severus Snape and Lily Evans," she said.

"Oh yes, we briefly met Lovely Lily and Snivels over there" Sirius said jerking his thumb at the two.

" What house do you guys want to be McKinnon? I'm personally hoping for Gryffindor…Where the brave dwell at heart!" James said pounding his chest. Marlene grinned.

"Same here. But, I'd be fine in Ravenclaw…or maybe even Hufflepuff…as long as it isn't Slytherin." She said with a shudder at the last word. She saw the Snape boy wince out the corner of her eye.

"Oh really McKinnon? Snivlley over here said he'd _love_ to be in Slytherin."

This started the second ever Black/Potter/Snape argument in history. It ended with Snape's left eyebrow singed off and Black's robes florescent pink (apparently the boys had already read up on their magic).

Marlene almost smiled at the memory, but now, now she had to help Lily. Marley was the only one known to really be able to calm her down. Alice was great at helping people, but surely she didn't know Lily half as well as Marley. Alice had been added to the close-knit friendship in their third year rather then first.

Right now, Marlene knew all she could do was hold Lily close.

##########

Lily felt like she was weak and worthless. How could this be happening? What did that sweet little girl do to deserve this…what did _she_ do to deserve this!

As soon as her and Alice got the girl to calm down, Lily marched up to the headmaster's office. She desperately wanted to know why Annabelle's parents had been murdered so ruthlessly. It wasn't right.

The professor told her that Annabelle's mom and dad and refused to join Voldemort's forces multiple times. He said he offered them protection, but by the time they agreed it was too late. Lily scoffed at the answer. That girl's parents were murdered for doing the right thing! For standing up for good! Then…then something even worse happened moments later; something that shook Lily to the core.

Now, Lily was in the common room shocked. She heard people gather around her and she felt Alice crouched down beside her.

Lily couldn't move and nothing made sense. Questions flew around her head at an alarming rate. How many deaths had to occur before this stopped? What could she do to stop them? Her thoughts continued and she heard voices, but none of them made any sense.

She had no idea if Alice knew why she was really acting the way she was. It was partially for little Annabelle, but when she was about to leave Professor Dumbledore's office, an owl and flown threw the window and landed on her shoulder. Clutched in its talons was an envelope as black as night. She had pulled it open with shaky hands and her heart had broken into a million pieces.

The headmaster had seen the letter and was about to rush to her side, knowing what it might be. So, she ran. She ran before he could try and comfort her. She ran before she gained the courage to fully read the letter. She ran before Alice could ask her what was wrong. She ran all the way to the common room before it over came her. Sometimes running was the only thing she could do.

"Should we get Professor McGonagall?" James asked Alice at the sight of Lily.

He and his friends had been undergoing a friendly game of Exploding Snap when Lily ran into the room and collapsed as soon as she set foot.

"I-I don't know! I've never seen her like this!" Alice said on the verge of tears.

Lily was a very strong person and now she was just sitting there not moving. Her eyes seemed to be glazed over. Why did she break like this?

"What happened!" asked Remus…Alice could hear the worry in his voice.

She had always known the two were good friends, for all she knew Remus could be as scared as she was.

"W-We were leaving the Great Hall a-and Lily heard someone crying. It was that first year, Annabelle Michelson…her parents got murdered last night…Lily ran to Professor Dumbledore's office and ran out, I don't know what's wrong!" she said hysterically.

"Get Marley…" James whispered at the sight of the frozen Lily.

"What was that Prongs?" asked Sirius in a shaky voice.

"She needs Marlene! Marlene will be the only one who can calm her down!" James said louder this time, almost yelling.

He was scared for the girl he had officially loved since third year. A first year in need would make her sad…but not like this.

He was thinking back to 5th year when Snape used that foul word on her. Lily was a mess even though she tried to hide it from everyone. He believed this was a lot worse.

Before Sirius was about to get up to grab the map and find Marlene, she came into the room looking tired. Her eyes traveled to Lily and she looked confused. She then realized something was wrong so she rushed to her friend's aid.

Lily felt a pair of arms around her shoulders. She breathed in the scent of coconut-lime perfume and instantly matched the scent to its owner. Marlene. Lily had no idea what she would do without her.

She sat there for a few minutes longer before the tears finally came, hard and fast racking her tiny frame.

"She needs a calming potion" said Marlene almost instantly. James grimaced at the look of fear Marlene had.

"I'll take her down to Madame Pomfrey." She continued.

James watched as Marley lifted Lily up and put an arm around her shoulder to steady her. Just as she stood a rather official looking black envelope fell out of her pocket.

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**PLEASE REVIEW! **


	3. Stupid Death Eaters and Fires

**Edited: July 4, 2012**

**Disclaimer: Don't own any characters or themes created by J.K. Rowling (I wish)**

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James watched Lily being pulled out of the common room to the Hospital Wing and his hear tinged. He bent over and picked up the letter that had slipped from her robes as she stood. He shoved it into his pocket to return to her later.

He decided to keep it in the Head's common room until she wanted it. It would be a good excuse to go back to his room and think. He gave a depressed wave good-bye to his friends and walked out the door and down the hall, not paying any particular attention to anything around him.

"Whomping Willow" he said clearly to the portrait that their room was behind.

It took him weeks to convince Lily to let him choose the password, so they compromised and found one they were both okay with. It also took weeks to convince Lily that Sirius wouldn't make anything explode in the common room if James were to give said password to the other Marauders.

The young girl in the picture of a flower-covered meadow smiled and nodded shyly at the two words he spoke as if it were a compliment. Sirius was convinced she had a crush on the Head boy. Why else would she despise Lily and blush whenever James talked to her? The portrait swung open seconds later to reveal a room clad in red and gold. He plopped down on his favorite chair by the fire to think. The sparks it sent out looked like a mini firework show that would captivate any onlooker. The whole room would captivate anyone actually. The Head common room was spectacular.

James could clearly remember Lily discovering that she had to share a room with him…it was actually quite funny. It was almost as bad as when she found out that he was head boy. She was fuming and he swore steam was about to come out of her ears.

"POTTER! HOW ARE _YOU_ HEAD BOY!" she then proceeded to jinx him (Rictusempra no less…James always hated being tickled).

A similar reaction occurred when Professor McGonagall told them they were sharing dorms. They were given a quick tour of the space and were drilled with some average rules. The ones like 'no parties', 'no messes of the extreme nature' (that one was almost offending, it wasn't like he was Sirius), and 'no ruining the books'. Of course all those rules had been broken…besides the last one. James swore Lily worshipped those hardbound copies.

During the lecture Lily threw him the most distasteful glances he had ever seen her give. It was as if she were just waiting for McGonagall to leave so she could once again yell at him and somehow find a way to blame the arrangements on him. She was and it was quite an earful.

Things had been rather strained between the two heads in the last few weeks. James tried his hardest to lay off and Lily seemed a little taken aback that he hadn't asked her out in so long. The wise voice (that sounded a bit like Moony) echoed in his head,

'James stay cool and collected, she'll come through'

He yawned and continued to gaze into the hot light of the flickering fire, this time remembering the first time he met Lily.

She astounded him immediately with her beautiful eyes and gorgeous hair. That slimy git next to her ruined some of her image though.

He also remembered that day as the first and second time he got into a fight with Snape and the first time he realized how great of friends Marlene and Lily could become. To this day James still thought Lily was breath taking, that Snape as an idiot, and Marlene and Sirius needed stop beating around the bush and snog each other.

He fingered the letter nervously in his hands.

_To Ms. Lily Marie Evans_

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

He once again noticed how official it looked…did it have to do with the reason why Lily was so distraught? He realized that was a stupid question. Of course it was the reason, what else would it be?

Should he look in it? He shook his head at the thought. He shouldn't be looking in other people's mail…even if it would possibly help bring them out of misery… right? He had no idea whatsoever. The black of the envelope was ominous and something was nagging at the back of his head telling him that that particular fact was important. _His _Lily was going through something awful. _His_ Lily might need his help. His mind was so muddled a strong headache was coming on.

Eventually he placed the letter on the mantel and wearily sat back down.

As his back touched the chair, the letter fell from its spot, lying open on rug-adorned ground. Sirius would call this fate…Remus on the other hand would call it gravy…or was it gravitary? Remus, being a half-blood, knew quite a bit about the Muggle World and always used words that James didn't know.

He slid off his chair and onto the ground beside the note. He decided he would take just a _tiny_ peak. What he saw made his face pale and his hands shake.

_Dear Lily Evans,_

_ We are sorry to say that this morning at precisely 6:13 AM a fire that was set to their home, below a Dark Mark, killed your father and mother, Karrie Rose and Carter John Evans. We are sorry for your loss. You may attend the funeral on October 10__th__ at 8:00 AM sharp. You are allowed to bring students if you wish._

_Signed,_

_Millicent Bagnold_

_Mister of Magic, Order of Merlin First Class_

Lily's parents were dead. Gone. Never to be seen again. For the first time that year (and certainly not the last), salty tears leaked out of his hazel eyes.

##########

Lily Evans felt like her world was ending. It was though. It was all over. In a few seconds her whole world was flipped upside down and backwards. She was barley aware of the comforting hand of Marlene on her shoulder as Madame Pomfrey poured a potion down her throat. She was barley aware of Marlene standing up to leave as she drifted of to a medicine induced sleep, and she was barley aware of a strong, callused hand being pushed into hers. Perhaps it was a comforting angel that she was imagining. Perhaps it was a real one. Or, perhaps it was just someone who could help her. It was James, but she didn't know that yet.

##########

When Lily awoke she could barley remember where she was or how she got

there. She felt groggy and her limbs were unnaturally heavy. Assuming this wasn't normal, she racked her brain, trying to figure out what happened.

That was when she remembered. It all came back in a waterfall-like rush. A rush much too fast for anyone's liking. Small tears dotted her eyes, but none of them fell for a single startling thought entered her mind. Tuney! Did Petunia, the one who had never liked Lily since that letter by owl came on her eleventh birthday, know what had happened? She bolted up and hit heads with someone who was leaning over her.

"LILY! YOU'RE AWAKE!" yelled a familiar voice.

It was Alice; they seemed to be bonking heads quite often. The girl jumped back and set the wet towel she had been dabbing on Lily's brow at the side table.

"Does Tuney know!" Lily asked in desperation.

"Know what?" asked Alice, obviously confused.

The tears she was holding in left her eyes and rolled down her now pale cheeks. Of course…Alice didn't know…no one did.

"A-Alice…they're gone! I'll never be able to hug them, or kiss them, or joke with them ever again! What am I going to do!" she said hysterically. Her store of sanity and calmness was depleted, but that would be okay for now, she deserved it.

"Lily…shhhh…Lils, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…but I don't know what you're talking about!" said Alice grabbing onto her friend's cold and clammy hand.

"My mummy and daddy Alice!" she sobbed. "They were always there! Always! Now I'm alone and they won't be there at King's Cross Station when I graduate! I won't go home to them for Christmas like I promised." She continued.

"Talk to me Lily, tell me what happened!" Alice replied. She was still confused. Lily's words were barley understandable and jumped all over the place. Lily's grip became much tighter and made most of the feeling in Alice's hand disappear.

"A fire. An awful, terrible fire was what it was. It was them Alice. The stupid death eaters!" she cried, "My mum and dad are gone Alice!"

Soon Alice's tears joined Lily's. She had met the Evans several times over various summers and each time she was welcomed heartily into their home. Mr. and Mrs. Evans were both brilliant people so full of life and happiness. They were just like Lily.

What had they done to deserve this? What did the old couple do to have their family ripped brutally apart? Nothing. That's what they did, absolutely nothing. They were average, normal in everyway. The only difference between them and the wizarding world was that they weren't magic. Did that automatically give them a death sentence? In the eyes of Voldemort it did apparently. The Evans were only two of the thousands that would die at the hand of this miserable excuse of a man. He needed to be stopped.

People like Lily broke because of him, and that wasn't right.


	4. A Setting Sun and Birch Tree

**Edited: July 15, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

##########

The sky was a rosy pink with streaks of gold and red and the sun was just about to go behind the mountains. When Lily looked up she could just make out the dark blue that was about to signal nighttime. Her tears were still flowing as she hugged her knees to her chest. 'Why did this have to happen' she thought, filled with bitterness. She shifted against the birch tree in order to be a little more comfortable. She was still clutching a note that had just been sent to her.

_This is your fault! I HATE YOU! NEVER talk to me again you freak! I don't know why you couldn't be normal because if you were our parents wouldn't be ASHES! _

The letter wasn't signed but Lily recognized it immediately even though it was littered with tears at this point. 'Why does Tuney have to hate me?' Her sister must not realize that she was hurting too. Maybe even more then Petunia was hurting because deep down, Lily really thought it was her fault and it made her feel sick.

What would have happened if she had never gotten that letter stating her claim to go to Hogwarts? This awful letter almost made Lily feel worse then the one telling her that her parents had died. This was because without Petunia…Lily had no one left to share her pain with. No one who knew what she was going through.

At least Petunia had Vernon. They had gotten married on September 2nd just so that Lily wouldn't be able to go to their wedding. Petunia's hatred ran too deep for her own good.

Ever since the day Lily had discovered she was a witch a deep aversion to her younger sister ran through Petunia. The fact that they had always been best friends was tossed aside because in her mind, Lily wasn't the same little girl she loved any longer.

"Lily…are you okay" she heard a deep recognizable voice say to the side of her.

"Uh…Y-yeah" she said quickly wiping the tears off of her face, more then embarrassed.

She turned her head and emerald met hazel; it was James. 'His eyes really are gorgeous' she thought before shaking out of it. She looked down to the green grass, scared to meet his gaze again. She thought that her mind must _really_ be messed up for her to think something nice about her sworn enemy.

It was true though; James had changed. Ever since their sixth year he'd been different. He was more mature and understanding, less arrogant and conceited.

"Did…did Alice tell you?" she sniffled, hating the silence.

"No" he said handing her the letter she got in Dumbledore's office. "I'm sorry, it fell out of your pocket and I thought I could help you…"

Lily's tears came back. Her tears were rather random and had showed themselves at the strangest moments now. Once she thought about it though, it wasn't really that strange.

She felt James's strong hand on her shoulder and she forgot about him being an arrogant prick for a few peaceful moments. Right now all she needed was a hug. She realized she would probably need a lot of those this year. She had no doubt that she wasn't the only one either.

"Lily, tell me what's on your mind." James whispered. She stubbornly shook her head.

"I don't wish to throw all my pitiful problems at you." She sobbed.

"Lily, please talk to me! _Please_! You can't bottle it up like this Lils!" He said, disappointed that she didn't seem to trust him.

He noticed that this was the first time Lily didn't say anything about him using some variation of her name and he almost smiled.

Her features crumbled and her bottom lip quivered. James could see that she was about to crack and spill everything to him whether she wanted to or not. What he heard surprised him.

"James my sister hates me! Ever since Sev told me I was a witch she's hated me! She either ignores me or insults me mercilessly every summer and I can't take it! I love Tuney to death and she can't do anything but glare at me!

I try to push all my bad memories of her aside and focus on the good ones. The only problem is that the good memories we have are of when we were seven! I remember dressing up like princesses and going through our mom's make-up, I remember creating forts out of pillows together and I remember chasing down the ice cream truck with her and seeing who could buy the weirdest flavors. That all stopped and I don't _want_ to have memories that were made 10 years ago!

Whenever I try to find nice memories of while I was at Hogwarts I end up remembering how she locked herself in her room for a week after my first year and I remember how she told my mom she didn't want me home when her boyfriend was over because she didn't want him to see how much of a freak I am. She hates me! Now, it's even worse! James, she blames me for their death!" she was sobbing uncontrollably at this point.

James's heart broke into a million pieces at how broken she was. He slung his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him, forgetting that he might get hexed for touching her.

He momentarily tensed up as she snuggled closer into him instead of pulling away like he expected. That feeling of surprise dissolved quickly and he placed his head on top of Lily's. Her tears were soaking his shirt, but he couldn't care less.

"This time she actually told me she hated me! She has never done that before! It was always the insults that hinted at it, that felt like shards of glass were thrown at me. This time it feels like she threw bricks! She said she hates me and never wants to talk to me ever again…she said that if I was _normal _my parents wouldn't have died! The worst part is that I think she's right! Death Eaters killed my parents and I think it's my fault! If I was a normal muggle like I was supposed to be…they would still be alive and-"

"Lily stop talking now" James said gruffly. "You will NOT blame this on yourself! You are not a bad person because you are a witch! Imagine all the things you couldn't do or couldn't see if you weren't one!" she finally looked up into his eyes.

Her eyes were as emerald as ever and shining with tears. He loved those eyes. They seemed different every time he looked at them. One day they would look like jewels and the next they would look like she stole the color of an evergreen tree. She was stilled wrapped up in his arms and she almost looked scared at what he was trying to say to her.

"If you weren't a witch, Marlene and Alice would have killed each other when they got to Hogwarts!"

Lily knew he was right with that point. Alice and Marley _hated_ each other at the beginning of their schooling. Lily brought them together and proved that Alice's soft and quiet disposition and Marlene's sunny, crazy attitude worked perfectly together when they had someone with a kind heart and fiery temper between them.

"If you weren't a witch you would have never helped Remus become okay with his condition and Sirius would have failed potions! If you weren't a witch the Marauders would be in detention every single night of the year for the rest of our lives!"

Thinking these things over, she realized most of these were true. She had discovered Remus was a werewolf in their second year. A full five months before the rest of the Marauders figured it out. He was convinced that Lily thought of him as a monster and he wouldn't talk to her for three weeks after she confronted him about it.

She remembered dragging him to an empty classroom and yelling at him for an hour about how he _wasn't _a monster, about how he was just as normal as she was and that sure, one night a month he was a little different, but he was still Remus.

Remus had actually kissed her once she was finished screaming. He was elated that there was someone out there that didn't despise him. Their friendship was in fact strengthened a great deal afterwards.

Sirius was another matter all together. At first Lily thought he was as conceited as James and most of the time she still does, but after a full year of partnering with him for Potions (Professor Slughorn wanted Lily's talent to rub off on him apparently) she thought he was okay. Eventually they became pretty good friends in a quite strange sense even though either of them would never admit it out loud.

She snapped out of her thoughts when James said something that startled her.

"If you hadn't become a witch…I wouldn't have met you." He placed a chaste kiss on top of her head and untangled himself from her. She blushed a color to match her hair when she realized their legs had been intertwined and he had been holding her hand. He stood up, ran a hand through his hair, and turned back to her.

"I hope you know you could tell me anything." He whispered before walking back to the castle.

Lily froze for a moment. She had just told the details of all her problems while snuggling the boy she had despised for six years.

One part of her was disgusted at how vulnerable she made herself…but the other part dared to think that she almost enjoyed talking to someone who wasn't a girl. Maybe…maybe Lily wasn't just a trophy for James to get…maybe he actually liked her. Maybe he wasn't actually that bad.

**##########**

**Please review!**


	5. Paper Airplanes and Blackmailing

**Edited: July 15, 2012**

**Disclaimer: :( Nope, don't own anything J.K. Rowling created.**

**##########**

The world seemed to be spinning again, at least a little faster then before. Some of the gloom that hung over the seventh year Gryffindors had vanished, creating much lighter moods. It had only been a few days, but it was something. Lily walked into Transfiguration and took her usual seat next to Marley.

"Hey, Lils"

"Hello, Marlene" she said grinning.

Lily and Marlene had a falling out during the last few days and Lily was glad it had been resolved. Marley had wanted to know why she was outside with James and Lily refused to tell her out of embarrassment. It ended in tears and shouting. With Marlene questioning whether Lily trusted her and Lily accusing Marlene of snooping in other people's business. Both girl's had had a terrible day and took their anger out on each other.

Alice had stopped the fight yesterday by telling Marley the news about Lily's parents. Marlene collapsed in tears and apologies saying that Lily had every right to be cross with her.

Alice was positive that this hurt Marlene as much as it hurt Lily. The Evans was like second parents to the pureblood. No one would have been surprised if Marlene had gotten a letter announcing the death of Lily's parents too.

Lily was glad to have her friend back after things had been resolved and she once again wondered what she would do without her.

The redhead flinched a bit when a rather pointy paper airplane hit the back of her head seconds after she sat down. She scooped it off the ground and opened it hesitantly.

_You okay Evans?_

She turned around to see James looking at her expectantly. She gave a small, shy smile and weakly shrugged her shoulders. He ran a hand through his hair…again…and returned the smile.

Over the past week, Lily could say she was an almost friend with Potter. He had helped her in a time of need and he'd been really kind about it. Their conversations no longer held shouting matches. Instead a snarky remark was thrown every now and again.

Her world was definitely changing. But, in some ways, it was okay. Maybe it was even for the better. Who knew, by the end of the school year everything could be opposite of what it had once been. Perhaps that'd be okay too.

##########

James frowned as he watched Lily slowly walk into Professor McGonagall's classroom. The bags under her eyes were prominent and he knew she hadn't been sleeping very well. It was almost every night now that he heard the creak of Lily's door opening and the soft sound of her feet making her way into the common room. He wanted nothing more then to follow her down to the common room those nights, but he knew she need her space…at least for a while.

Their common room was separate from the Gryffindor common room but it looked very similar. A cheery fireplace was always raging to the right of the room and everything was covered in the Gryffindor colors. Several couches and chairs littered the area and the walls were covered in all books known to mankind.

James remembered Lily's eyes lighting up when she saw all those ever so readable books. She looked like she was in heaven. The room split into two different staircases (leading to each of their rooms) and in the middle was two bathrooms. It was easy to hear Lily when she woke up because he was such a light sleeper and their rooms were so close.

He scribbled a note on a piece of paper, folded it into a paper airplane (something Remus taught him to do in first year), and threw it at the back of her head a few seats in front of him.

She looked annoyed when it hit her, but her face softened as she read it. She turned back and gave him a rather tiny smile and a shrug of the shoulders before turning back to Marlene who was probably wondering what he wanted.

James was snapped out of his thoughts when Sirius strutted over to the chair beside him and poked him in the shoulder.

"Not day-dreaming about a certain red head are you Prongs?" he asked smirking. James shook his head and looked back down the book he was trying to study before Minnie (a name Sirius dubbed Professor McGonagall) came in.

"Ooo…I see, going to the silent treatment are you? Well I have something that will snap you out of it" Sirius said mischievously.

Sirius pulled out a rather large picture in a brown picture frame. It showed the Black Lake and the pink and orange sunlight. It also showed the famous birch tree with its red and gold leaves (The Marauders had taken a liking to the tree when they realized that it looked as if it was made for Gryffindor in the fall time). It was a beautiful picture in reality, but the other half of it made James cringe.

In the center of the picture were two seventeen year olds. One of the kids had flaming red hair and another with messy black hair that was sticking up everywhere. There was no doubt as to who it was.

The worse part was that the picture captured their intertwined legs and handholding. Just imagining what would happen if Lily saw it scared James half to death.

This picture made him fall backwards in his chair and hit the ground with a loud 'THUNK'. The whole class (including Lily and Marlene) looked back to see James sprawled out on the floor and Sirius laughing so hard his face was beet red. They all snickered thinking that Sirius probably pushed him over.

Professor McGonagall took this moment to walk in and sit in her seat at the front of the room. The class became quiet and turned back to her as she started discussing Animagi. James knew he didn't really have to listen to this so he sat back up and turned to Sirius with a scowl.

"Sirius…tell me where you got that picture _now,"_ he snarled wanting to throw something at his friend. Sadly the nearest thing was a pencil and James feared that would do no good.

Remus, who was sitting on James's other side looked over at the picture and smiled. He was about to open his mouth to say something before James cut him off.

"Not a word from you, wolf boy." He spoke.

Remus just smirked and turned back to McGonagall even though he knew everything (and more) about the subject she was currently teaching. Remus was just too good of a student to not listen to the teacher.

"Well James" Sirius said using his friend's real name as Prongs had done. "It was taken by a first year in Ravenclaw who sold it to me for 10 galleons. I figured it would be a good blackmailing device"

"Whatever you do don't let Lily see it! This picture could ruin our almost-kind of friendship!" James hissed behind his textbook.

Remus leaned back so James wouldn't see and mouthed the last words James had said to Sirius. They both snickered, but Padfoot turned back to him.

"What I'd like to know is why you two were in this situation in the first place. Last I checked Evans hated your guts…seeing as that was last week, I guess things could change in a rather short period of time it you know what I mean" Sirius said nudging his friend and holding in his bark like laughter.

"Pads…Lily's parents got murdered by Death Eaters last week" he whispered to make sure that no one else heard. The smile on Sirius's face disappeared and was replaced with a grimace.

"Wait…is that what happened? In the Common Room?

"Just go easy on her Padfoot, she's been having a rough time…haven't you noticed the bags under her eyes?" Sirius nodded sadly.

Remus looked devastated. James knew he and Lily were close. He had always been a bit jealous of them. Remus actually looked on the verge of tears… but that _was_ how James looked when he found out and he wasn't even friends with Lily at that point.

"Still, when did this happen." Sirius said pointing to the picture and trying to wave the air of depression away. James sighed and decided to just tell him the truth.

"It was the day after it happened. S-she was sitting by herself under the tree and she was crying-"

"How did you know what happened?"

"She dropped the letter when Marley took her to the Hospital Wing. She spilled everything to me Padfoot!"

"She didn't try to move?" Remus said point to the position they had been in.

"Quite the opposite…she actually nuzzled in closer to me. It caught me of guard for a while, but I recovered."

"Of course you did," Sirius said grinning. James could be such a girl sometimes.

The bell then rang and James rushed out of the room, giving Lily a timid grin on his way out. Sirius caught up to him halfway down the hall.

"WAIT PRONGS!" he yelled before he grabbed onto James's shoulder to hold him back.

"What did she tell you?" he asked softly.

"I'm sorry Pads, I don't think I can say…it was all rather personal," he said rubbing the back of his neck.

"Eh, that's fine…just like Marauder Rule #6 right?"

"Yeah, never betray the trust of a Marauder." He recited.

"We'll let Lily apply to this okay?"

"Yeah…that's great Padfoot, thanks"

##########

"What do you think caused that outburst from James and Sirius…It almost looked like a picture frame. What do you think it was?" Marlene asked Lily on the way to Potions.

"Yeah" Lily said airily.

"Lils? Lily? LILY EVANS SNAP OUT OF IT!" Marlene said, causing all the kids around them to jump.

"What?" Lily asked almost annoyed.

"Lily, your in a total daze! What's wrong with you!"

"Potter…that's what's wrong." She said sulking.

"What do you mean?"

"He…He's messing with my mind Marley!" she said.

Before Marlene could respond Lily ran forward and got lost in the massive crowd. Marlene frowned and decided to confront her about it another day.


	6. Fights With Family and a Funeral

**Edited: July 21, 2012**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill; I don't own Harry Potter characters or themes**

**##########**

"Ummm…Remus?" Lily asked quietly while wringing her hands. Her study partner turned to face her, moving his chair slightly.

"Yes Lily" he said in an equally soft voice, not wanting to provoke the librarian.

"I-I w-w-was wondering if…" she tried to choke out what to say, but she couldn't do it. She ducked her head in despair and tried to sort her hurried thought.

"Come on Lily, spit it out" Remus said frowning at Lily's actions.

"Could you go to my parents funeral tomorrow?" she said quickly, the tears were already coming to her eyes, intensifying the green.

Remus looked genuinely sorry and grabbed hold of Lily's hand and squeezed it. His own eyes were wet, but he kept the tears in to try and stay strong for the red headed girl. He hadn't told her that he already knew because he wanted Lily to tell him herself in her own time. If anyone didn't deserve this, it was Lily.

"Yeah, of course I will Lily…when did this happen?" he asked trying to act surprised.

"L-last week"

"I'm so sorry"

"I feel kinda silly crying like this Remus…I was able to make it through a whole 6 days without shedding a tear and keeping it all in…" Lily said trying to smile…it wouldn't come and her lip quivered slightly.

Remus frowned at his friend. He felt truly awful for her having to go through something like this. Lily was one of the strongest people he knew…now…now he had seen her cry twice in one week.

"W-would you please ask James for me? I don't think I can after-" Lily stopped talking and looked down.

"You called him James" Remus whispered. Lily looked back up with wide eyes.

"Um, Yeah I did, didn't I," she said softly. Remus shook his head as if trying to get rid of some of the thoughts he was having.

All through their Hogwarts years Lily had never addressed James by his first name. It had always been "Potter", or "the arrogant toe-rag". Needless to say, this was a big step on how Lily was warming up the boy who could very well become her friend.

"Of course I'll tell him Lily…were you going to invite Sirius and Peter?"

"Yes…you wouldn't mind asking Peter too would you? I can ask Sirius myself." Remus nodded his head and got up to leave before pausing.

"Would you like us to wear muggle clothing?" he asked looking into her green eyes.

"No, just wear what you want…my sister and her husband will be the only muggles there." She said as her lip quivered. Remus gave a sad smile and walked off to find James.

############################# 

Lily couldn't believe she was searching the castle for Sirius Black and it _wasn't_ to get him in trouble. She came across him sitting on one of the many staircases with his face in his hands. He looked up at the sound of her footsteps and tried to smile, just like she had tried in the library with Remus. Lily could see he was struggling just as she had.

There were bags underneath his silver eyes and he had a good day's stubble on his cheeks. He looked tired, as if he'd fall asleep at any moment.

"Hello Sirius" she said sitting beside him. She was instantly engulfed in a large hug that took her by surprise.

"James told me what happened to your parents…I'm really sorry," he whispered in a voice that cracked every few syllables. He pulled away.

"Would you like to go to the funeral tomorrow, Sirius?" She asked almost hesitantly. He nodded his head.

"Why are you here by yourself?" she asked him. Lily needed to forget. To forget about everything for even a few measly moments sounded like pure bliss.

"Its my brother, Regulus… he really hates me Lily-Petal" He said turning to her.

Lily realized he said almost the exact thing she had said to James. Silent tears flowed down her face at the thought. Sirius awkwardly patted her back wondering if something he said had upset her or if maybe she just felt the need to cry.

She pulled a rumpled piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to him. He read it slowly and his frown grew deeper.

_This is your fault! I HATE YOU! NEVER talk to me again you freak! I don't know why you couldn't be normal because if you were our parents wouldn't be ASHES! _

"It's from my sister," she whispered. "I guess we're in the same boat here."

"Yeah" he said trying to stop his own tears from coming. Sirius Black _never_ cried and it wasn't going to start now.

"She wanted a separate funeral you know…"she said sadly. "She didn't want a bunch of freaks like me there. Professor Dumbledore convinced her not to, but she isn't very happy about it." She stood up and brushed herself off.

"See you tomorrow?" she asked taking the note back and slipping it into her pocket. Sirius just nodded his head and watched her start to walk away.

"Lily?" he said. She turned at the sound of his voice.

"When did you get that?"

"Last week" she said calmly.

"You kept it the whole time?"

"Yes…she may hate me…but I still love her" Lily whispered. She then turned the corner and was gone from his sight.

##########

Marlene, Alice, and Lily all touched their hands to the old soda can that Professor Dumbledore had turned into a portkey. Each were in their Sunday best and none had the slightest hint of a smile on their faces.

"Now remember, the rest of the guests will be arriving in a half hour." He said solemnly. Even Dumbledore, the greatest wizard alive, was depressed at the thought of a funeral.

Lily had invited the Marauders, her two best friends, little Annabelle, Frank Longbottom (Alice's boyfriend), and all her teachers to her parents' funeral. She was supposed to be meeting Petunia so that they could set up the place she had chosen.

The three girls felt the familiar pull and were whisked off. They landed in a pretty cemetery that contained an old rusty swing set.

"This looks like home," Lily said turning to Marley and Alice and pointing to the ancient swing set.

She had told her friends the story of her childhood after the Black Lake Incident (as it was called by every one who was present) that happened at the end of OWLs fifth year.

That had been one of the worst times in Lily's life. She had lost her best friend, the one who had introduced her magic. That day he called her a_ Mudblood_ and finally spoke what had probably been on his mind for a long time. The cemetery looked very much like the place she first met Severus Snape.

Marlene gave Lily's hand a squeeze and they got to work preparing the area.

They all used their wands to create two holes in the ground in the reserved spot. Alice, who was amazing at Herbology, made lily and petunia flowers sprout and Marlene set up a gazebo type shelter to keep them in the shade.

While Lily used magic to clean up the empty cemetery, Alice saw a tall figure walking towards them.

"Wands away ladies, muggle coming this way" she said quiet enough so that only the other two girls could hear. Lily walked away from the swing set she was polishing and squinted to get a better view.

"It's Tuney," she said sadly. Lily still stuck her wand in her back pocket and walked forward to meet the skinny figure.

Alice could now make out a rather large man behind her. She assumed that this was Petunia's boyfriend for he fit the description of a " mustached walrus" perfectly, just like Lily said. Lily had stopped towards the end of the grassy area where her sister was about to arrive at. Marlene and Alice could barely make out their conversation.

"Hello, Tuney," Lily said. Her two friends knew she was trying to act as if nothing happened.

"Freak, I don't want to talk to you, get out of my way" the blonde walked past her sister with her boyfriend in tow wearing a scowl.

"Petunia wait! We need to talk!" Lily yelled stumbling after her. Her sister ignored her and continued to walk towards the gravesite.

"What have you done?" Petunia screeched when she saw the area. "This looks _awful! _Didn't I send you a picture of what I wanted it to look like?

"Yes you did and I saw it. You said you wanted nothing to do with it though so I did what _I___thought was best!" Lily said coming up behind her. Petunia turned around fuming and looked as if she was about to slap Lily.

The Marauders, Frank, and Annabelle chose that moment to arrive by portkey. They were all in dress robes and obviously trying to look happy, the fake smiles slid off their faces at the sight of the two sisters.

"You just had to tarnish their memory with all your FREAK stuff!"

"IT'S CALLED MAGIC PETUNIA!"

"I DON'T CARE! IT KILLED THEM! THESE PEOPLE ARE JUST AS BAD AS YOU!" Petunia said pointing to the new arrivals. The group of six awkwardly stood and Annabelle frowned and scooted a bit closer to Remus.

"PETUNIA! Please stop! Those are my friends! They've helped me with this more then you have! You're my sister, Tuney," She said the last part in a whisper and sunk to the ground with her face in her hands.

Petunia looked startled by this, as did everyone else. She ended up walking off tight-lipped and finding a seat in the very front of the rows of chairs Alice had set up, as far away from Lily as possible. Vernon, who was looking like they were going to jinx him any second, followed closely behind her. His small eyes darted back and forth between the wizards as he walked.

Alice saw James twitch, as if he wanted to run to her and then something surprising happened. Sirius placed a hand on James's shoulder to stop him and whispered something in his ear. James nodded stiffly and Sirius jogged over to where Lily was. He bent down next to her, looped his arm around her shoulders, and pulled her up gently. Lily buried her head in Sirius's chest and cried.

James motioned for the others to follow and he walked past them and went to the seats in the back. He pulled Alice and Marlene forward as well as if he wanted to leave Sirius and Lily alone for a while.

Alice was terrified when she saw her best friend collapse after her sister had upset her. This was Lily Evans! The girl, who helped, not needed to be helped! The girl who was strong and brave and able to push bad emotions in and pull good ones out at will! Lily crying like that scared her a great deal.

This also made Marlene confused. Wasn't James the one who liked Lily? Why was Sirius comforting her? Marley couldn't help but feel a thrill of jealousy run through her. She turned to James and he pulled a piece of parchment out of his dress robes at the sight of the strange look she gave him and scribbled something on it with his wand. He passed it to her. The professor's were just arriving with the caskets at this point.

_Sirius is having family problems too._

Marlene nodded her head in understanding after she read the note. She looked forward and saw that Sirius and Lily had walked up to the front and sat down a few seats from Petunia. They teachers filed in the front of the other students and Professor Dumbledore started talking.

##########

Lily collapsed to the ground and didn't know what was going on around her. She didn't want too. Her head pulsed with a newly formed headache and she couldn't separate one thought from the next. She only heard Petunia walking off after their yelling match. Everything was wrong. She had lost her parents and now her sister.

She felt a strong arm pull her up and she took in the scent of motor oil and peppermint toothpaste…a very strange combination. It calmed her though, it made her feel like it was all going to be okay. She realized it was Sirius. Sirius was the only person who might know how she felt right now. She pushed herself into him trying to shut out the rest of the world.

She felt him guiding her forward and setting her down in a seat. She opened her eyes and saw Professor McGonagall setting the caskets in their respective places until it was time to bury them. Sirius was in the chair beside her and she was filled with gratitude at the sight that he wanted to help her. He squeezed her hand and she gave a watery smile in reply.

Last year she hated Sirius Black with a very purple passion. He was always so full of himself. It was times like these that she was glad she knew him. If it had been Alice or Marlene who tried to help her, she would have been okay. If it was James (who had already proved that he was good at comforting her) she might have been a little better off then with Alice or Marley. Lily knew Sirius was the one who would prove most helpful in this situation. Who knew? Maybe they could become friends.

Most of the teachers looked at the two seventh years in the front row a little strangely, but shook it off as they moved towards the back. Things could easily change in situations like these. Before Dumbledore started to speak, he gave Sirius a quick nod as if to say he was doing the right thing.

The service was nice, but Petunia made slight coughing noises whenever something in relation to magic was brought up. Dumbledore finished his talking with something that left Lily to think.

"In the light of these tragic events, sometimes something even more worrying must take place to heal them." His eyes had that familiar twinkle and he looked right at Lily and then they traveled back to something, or someone, behind her.

########## 

**Please Review :)**

**-Sweets5236**


	7. Jerseys and Taking it too Far

**Edited: July 23, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything J.K. Rowling does**

##########

The rest of that October flew by in a flash. The most eventful thing that had happened was that the Marauders charmed all the silverware in the Great Hall to start singing during breakfast on Halloween.

Lily's midnight visits to the head common room became less and less often until finally, they stopped.

It seemed as if things were going back to the way they should be. Nothing would ever be the same as it was though all they all realized that. It would take time to adjust, but perhaps they could have a relatively quiet rest of the year.

##########

"Lily…Lily-Flower…Lilykins…wake up!" James whispered in a singsong voice.

Lily was an early riser, but James woke up even earlier. Usually it was to practice Quidditch. He was the captain and his team needed the extra work if they were going to win the cup.

This was his first free morning in weeks so he decided to wake up the green-eyed witch. Luckily, the stairs going up to her room didn't turn into a slide like they did in the Gryffindor common room. He had laughed when he saw she was sprawled across the bed with her limbs hanging over the edge.

He gently shook her shoulder and she responded by flipping over and burying her head in the pillow.

"Lily…" he said again.

"Wa-du-o-ant?" she mumbled into her pillowcase.

"Sorry love, I can't understand you." He said trying not to laugh. Lily rolled over to her side.

"What do you want Potter?" she grunted angrily, blowing her long hair from out of her face.

"LILY! I am offended! I thought we were past last names!" he said defensively putting a hand over his heart.

"What made you think that?" Lily said as she slowly sat up. She rubbed her eyes and blew her ever-annoying hair out of her eyes once again. James shrugged his shoulders and plopped on the side of her bed causing it to bounce slightly with the added weight.

"I don't know…maybe it was because last week _you_ said 'we have to act responsible and the first step is to call each other by our first names'" he said in a crude imitation of the girl.

"Fine…what do you want _James_"

"Well, I want _you_ to go to Hogsmeade with _me_ today."

"Sorry, I have plans." She said as she pulled on some pink slippers and stretched to wake up further.

"I like your pajamas by the way" he said smirking.

Lily scowled deeply. She was clad in _his_ pajamas. Apparently Marlene and Alice thought it would be funny to steal her trunk last night before they went to bed. Lily was too tired to run after them so James threw her one of his Quidditch jerseys and some of his pajama shorts. They looked ridiculously big on her and his name was spelled out in big letters on her back.

The two heads had argued about it for the time it would take to get Lily's clothes back, but in the end James rose triumphant when he told her that if she didn't wear his pajamas she would either have to sleep in her school robes or without any clothes at all.

"Who do you have plans with anyway?" he asked nonchalantly.

"The giant squid of course. Who else? Now go away!" she huffed. James grinned at this.

"At least you told me whom you were going with instead of yelling that it was none of my business," he said trying not to laugh. "Tell him 'hello' for me!" Lily chose that moment to chuck a maroon pillow at his head as he left the room. It landed on the floor after impact with a soft 'thump'.

She walked to her door and then she realized there was one little problem about going down to breakfast…she was still in James's clothes. She decided to run down to breakfast, eat, and run to the Gryffindor common room before any one could see her. She smiled at her the cleverness she thought she had. If one were to say Lily Evans wasn't her brightest in the morning, they would be correct. She pulled her bed cover around her so that at least _some_ of the clothing was covered.

A grinning James Potter followed Lily out the portrait hole and down the many stairs of the large castle to her annoyance.

"Lily…I'm a little cold over here, mind if I have that blanket?" he asked smirking. Lily responded by kicking him in the shin.

When they were almost down to the Great Hall, Sirius came bounding over and jumped between them.

"Hello Lily-Petal, Prongs. How are you on this fine morning?" he asked using a rather silly "proper" voice.

"Well, I'm pretty cold…what about you Lily?" he said in between laughs.

"Come on Lily-Petal, why don't you share your blanket with Prongs here!" Sirius said catching on. He had seen Marlene and Alice run in into the Gryffindor common room with Lily's trunk the night before.

Lily ignored them and walked into the Great Hall with her head down. The sleepy girl wrapped in a blanket from head to toe was being looked at by all those present in the hall, including Alice and Marley who wanted to see what Lily had done without her clothing.

"Hey Lils…nice blanket…got anything else on?" Marlene said giggling.

"Yes Marlene, I am wearing clothing." Lily said annoyed.

Sirius and James sat down on both sides of Lily and it looked as if they were trying to contain a lot of laughs.

Lily tried to not let them bother her and scooped a pile of scrambled eggs onto her plate. Of course she didn't notice Sirius wave his wand over her orange juice and mutter something under his breath. She didn't notice it turn a shade darker either.

She finished her eggs hastily and washed them down with her juice. As soon as she swallowed a very strange feeling came over her. She suddenly had the urge to spill everything on her mind.

"This blanket really is quite itchy…I wish I could take it off," she said out loud.

"What was that Lily?" asked James smiling.

"I don't get why they had to steal my clothes anyway. Besides, why do they care that I'm wearing James's jersey? I am really annoyed with Marlene and Alice right now" she rattled off looking terrified each time she said a new word.

"Oh! That's what you're tying to hide Lils!" said Alice while chuckling nervously. She had no idea what was happening.

"Hiding something? Yeah, I'm wearing James's clothes because he said I would have to sleep without any on if I didn't. That was embarrassing. Even more embarrassing then that one time when Slughorn bought me that perfume and gave it to me during class. That was actually a little creepy." Lily quickly rambled. A strange look was written on her face.

"Come on Alice, give the girl a break." James said while trying to suppress the laugh that was bubbling inside of him. Sirius, on the other hand, started laughing so hard he almost fell out of his seat. Lily glanced over at James and the words once again rushed out of her mouth.

"James has _really_ pretty eyes, they're so…hazel and warm. He is actually kinda cute…he's really nice for sticking up to me too. Maybe he isn't so bad. I don't get why I find it so hard to believe that I might have a tiny crush," this time she slapped her hand over her mouth so hard that it echoed across the room.

The currently present Gryffindors all looked at her with wide eyes and gaping mouths. Did Lily Evans almost say what they thought she almost said? A few listeners looked at the people around them to make sure they heard right and they didn't just imagine it.

The whole hall was watching just as they had that day at the end of September. Professor McGonagall was sitting on the edge of her seat, ready to bolt over the second something out of hand happened.

In the end she didn't have to move because Lily ran out of the hall looking quite distraught at what had just happened. James barely saw the tears sparkling in her eyes as she left.

What he didn't know was that she wasn't about to cry because she was embarrassed; it was because of the massive storm of confusion that was brewing within her. None of the things she said about James had ever really crossed her mind before; this was a new discovery even for her! Shouldn't she be able to figure it out for herself before she blurted it to all of Hogwarts? All the other things she said were true so the chances were the last ones were too.

Lily was so sick of being afraid and conflicted. Of course she cried! A seventeen-year only girl certainly wasn't supposed to juggle so much stress in such a small amount of time.

But James wasn't thinking this; he was just thinking that she needed his help now. His role of the knight in shining armor once again commenced. He ran out of the great hall after the Head Girl without a single hesitation. That was just who he was.


	8. A Picture of Light and Insight

**Edited: July 23, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

##########

Lily ran. She ran away from the truth. She ran away from what she had said and she ran away from the voice of _Potter_ that she heard calling after her. She ran just like she did when she received that letter in Dumbledore's office.

Lily felt a pain that she had never felt before. What had made her say what she did? Was it true? That pain was utter confusion. Not the confusion you felt when you didn't know the answer to a difficult test, but the confusion of having something happen that was potentially live changing. The confusion that you knew things wouldn't be the same, but that you didn't know how.

Her wavy red hair flew behind her as she continued to run, tangling itself further with each step. Lily had no idea where she was going and she had little time to think about it because a pair of strong, familiar arms grabbed her and turned her around.

Green eyes met hazel. Just like they did under the tree. They were flecked with green and told her all he was thinking. James' eyes made Lily want to melt into his arms and murmur all her problems to him. That was terrifying to say the least. She wanted desperately to turn away but his grip was iron.

"Lily" he said. He voice sounded pained and almost heart-broken. Lily could hear pity laced through the singular word.

A molten surge of anger filled her. _Pity_. It was all she was given these days. He didn't know when to stop, when to back off. He thought he could fix everything. He thought that somehow he could be her "knight in shining armor". She would prove him wrong. That she was sure of. Why had she ever thought that he changed?

"Are you happy now Potter? Did you hear what you wanted?" she said coldly, seeing the hurt in his eyes. A part of her wanted to apologize the instant the words fell out of her mouth, but the other part relished his pain.

"Lily, I would never do that to you, I swear! It-Its…" 

"Oh I see, can't come up with a decent excuse, can you? " She felt a prickle in the back of her throat and in her eyes. For the first time in almost three weeks she was about to cry and it made Lily flinch…just enough for James to notice.

"What's wrong with you!"

"Everything! HAVEN'T YOU REALIZED THAT!" she said ducking out of his grasp.

"Yes, I have, so why don't you calm down and listen to me!" he said harshly.

"Listen. Listen to _you_? Why should I do that _Potter?_" she spat, "Why should I listen to the boy who's a selfish, arrogant, oblivious jerk! WHY!"

Her anger overflowed in a rush and she felt the adrenaline that used to pump through her during her fights with James in years previous. She knew she needed someone to take her problems out on, why not him? He didn't seem to care. The only problem with that was that Lily didn't realize all James did was care about her.

"James Potter, if I wanted you to follow me and make me miserable I would have told you. If you wanted to follow me, you shouldn't have hurt me for a laugh." She snarled, her voice full of dark energy.

"WELL WHO SAID I ACTUALLY PUT THAT CHARM ON YOUR DRINK! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASSUME IT'S ME?"

"THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE CHARM! THIS IS ABOUT HOW YOU 'VE MADE MY LIFE A LIVING HECK FOR THE PAST SIX YEARS, POTTER!"

That's when she saw it, the undeniable pain in those sparkly hazel eyes. It was the look of utter betrayal that had probably been resting there the whole time. She had taken it too far over something silly that he probably didn't do. She exploded and it hurt him.

Lily's features froze in horror. She just crushed the one who had been so amazingly kind to her. So she did what she was best at, she ran…again.

##########

Lily had no idea what was wrong with her. She felt like the worst excuse for a decent human being on the face of the planet. How could she be so heartless and cruel? And to run away too! She was supposed to have a perfect seventh year being a wonderful head girl and doing amazing in everything. She was supposed to protect little first years from bullying fourth years and get worked up over N.E. . Now she had lost all she stood for. Her family she lost to the hands of Voldemort, her clear conscience she lost to James Potter, and her bravery…her bravery had just disappeared.

When she was little, Lily was the one to stand back up after she got a scraped knee and laugh it off. When she was older, she was the one to shake off her sorrow the best she could when her best friend had called her a _Mudblood_. The last time Lily had cried before her seventh year was the first time Petunia had called her a freak when she was 10.

This year, Lily's ability to push away her tears was gone. It was like some invisible force had taken that away and threw it into the ocean. She had cried more this year then she had in her whole life. Why was she so broken?

All of this traveled in her head as she sat behind the tapestry that she had visited to help little Annabelle. Sitting there, she realized a lot of things were going to go wrong, but she was going to have to deal with them anyway. She had no choice.

##########

James walked slowly around the castle deep in a zombified state. What could he do to gain her trust again? Her words stung like a million wasps. Was that really what she thought about him? That he was the person who ruined her _life_? He decided the first step was to talk to Sirius. Sirius and James were brothers separated at birth. They were inseparable from the moment they met and everyone knew it. Now Sirius even lived with him thanks to his no good family. He knew his friend would be able to talk a bit of that deep sense of despair out of him.

He found him sitting on his favorite staircase turning the bricks on the walls different colors.

"What did you do Sirius?" he asked leaning against the wall behind him.

"Listen, I'm really sorry Prongs…I just thought that everyone needed a laugh! Marley was sitting right next to Lily and I thought it was her drink I charmed! Once Lily drank it I figured that it would be just as funny so I went along with it." He said looking down at the floor.

"What charm did you use?"

"Variation of a simple vertiserum and a babbling charm."

"Brilliant idea and all, but I think Evans scared herself with some of the stuff she said." James said sitting down beside Sirius.

"Part of the variation" Sirius mumbled.

"Was it all true?"

"Yeah. Are you okay Prongs?" he said after looking into his friend's face.

"No…I'm not" he replied, "I think she hates me."

"Who Lily-Flower? No way in heck."

"Then why'd she say I ruined her life, huh Sirius, got an answer to that?" he demanded.

"I'll fix this Prongs…it's my fault."

He walked off and left James on the worn steps. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

##########

Sirius pulled the Marauder's Map out of his robes and scanned it looking for a name. They really needed to put some kind of location charm on it to make it easier to find people.

Eventually he found Lily's name behind a tapestry. He ran up the stairs to the spot and walked behind it to see a picture being created in the air out of light. It was beautiful magic. He looked down to see Lily sitting on the floor with her knees pushed up to her chest concentrating hard on what she was doing.

"Hey, Evans" she jumped slightly when he said her name and a streak of green slashed across her picture. She made the streak disappear with another swipe of her wand.

"Hullo, Black"

"Are you okay?" he said wanting her to look him in the eyes and answer.

He got his wish. She turned and smiled sadly. She looked a lot better then she had in the last few weeks and you almost couldn't see that she had been crying a few moments ago.

"It's funny how many times I've heard that this year." She said turning back to her picture.

"Well, are you?"

"No. I just yelled at James over something completely ridiculous, I feel awful! How am I ever going to be able to look him in the face again?"

Sirius sighed, not having an answer. He took a minute to look at what she was doing.

It was a very large picture and Sirius grinned when he saw what it was. Along the bottom he noticed an array of large petunias. Planted in the grass was a tall tree with red and gold wilting leaves. Sitting under the tree were six people, himself, James, Remus, Peter, Alice, and Marley. She had every detail down from James's messy hair and snitch to the little smile lines around Marlene's mouth. The likeness was incredible. Lily was an amazing artist.

"Where are you?" he asked pointing at it.

"I don't know were I'm supposed to be," she said sighing. Sirius sensed that the comment had more meaning to it.

"I do," he said pulling out his own wand.

Sirius copied the spell Lily had used and scribbled up a picture that looked much like a stick with red hair. He placed her right at James's side. Sirius turned and looked at her.

"Sorry…I'm not that great of an artist." He said. Lily shrugged her shoulders still looking at the picture. She was obviously deep in thought.

"Do you remember what Dumbledore said at the funeral? In the light of these tragic events…"

" Sometimes something even more worrying must take place to heal them." She finished.

"Lily, this may sound extremely cheesy, but you _need_ James and I think you know it." He said quietly. She still didn't respond so he continued for her, "You need someone to keep you standing. Someone who knows you well whether you like it or not…someone who loves you."

"I'm terrified Sirius! I've loathed James for almost half my life! I just screamed in his face for goodness sake! Now, after all that has happened this year, I don't know what to do! I'm a walking, breathing disaster."

Sirius frowned. This was the girl he had learned to love as a sister over the past month and it hurt him to see her this way. He knew he wasn't the best at giving pep talks, but he at least tried.

"That's okay. I'm not asking you to jump into his arms and snog him senseless the next time you see him." She blushed deep red when he said it so he knew she was still listening.

"Just…relax…don't get so wound up when he's around and calm down. You know…you don't even have to like him as more then a friend if you don't want too. I realize I am pushing you onto him, but that's just because he's my best mate and I want him to be happy. I just know that James knows you as well as you know Marley…thanks to his stalkerish qualities…and he really is more level headed this year. Since you're living with Prongs, you're going to have to learn to get along with him…he probably can help you more than you can think, Lily." He said looking her in the eyes again.

"Okay…yeah well…thanks, Sirius." She said.

"I'm glad I could help…that picture really is good though…and I like your shirt." He said grinning. He stood up, brushed himself off, and left.

Lily smiled and looked down. She was still wearing James's clothes.


	9. Apologies and Memories

**Edited: March 20, 2012**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter**

**A/N: I want to dedicate this chapter to Draconator who is a loyal reviewer to my stories and helped me make quite a few difficult decisions pertaining to some of them. Thanks!  
>##########<strong>

A week passed and Lily was still confused and she didn't know what to do. Sirius sent her strange looks when she walked by him in the corridors and they made her think of the talk they had. She still hadn't confronted James, how could she? She was afraid of the look of disgust he would probably give her if she even glanced his way, so much for Gryffindor courage.

At the moment the relationship between the Marauders and three 7th year girls was tense to say the least. They were hardly seen anywhere together anymore. Lily and James had been the ones to encourage all of them to stick together before and now that connecting bridge was gone.

Marlene, who missed the boys' company most, decided to take things into her own hands after the second Quidditch match (the first had been Ravenclaw against Slytherin and this one was Gryffindor against Hufflepuff).

Gryffindor was celebrating their amazing victory in the common room (courtesy of Sirius Black). She saw James sulk out about an hour into the party and figured it was the perfect time to confront Lily and send her after him. She walked over to the secluded corner of the Gryffindor common room that the red head was in.

At the moment she was in a heated debate with Black, both seemed to be getting very angry, very fast. Sirius had a piece of paper in his hand and was constantly waving it in her face while Lily screamed something back at everything he said. Marley had no idea what they were saying though because it seemed as if they put some kind of bubble around each other.

She saw Lily look over Sirius's shoulder and spot her. She smiled slowly and Lily waved her wand around and Marlene could finally hear her.

"Everything okay here Lils?" she asked worriedly.

Sirius turned around still frowning with the paper in his hand. He seemed to be doing a good job at not letting her see what it was.

"Oh…umm…yeah we're f-f-fine." Lily said stuttering a bit.

"Yeah, just a nice conversation between friends." Sirius said shooting Lily a significant look.

"Oh, well, Lily mind if I talk to you for a bit? You know, if you guys are done."

"Oh Yes, we're finished. Marley, your friend can have a pretty thick head sometimes" Sirius muttered. He shoved the paper into Lily's hand and they both watched him walk back into the red and gold clad crowd.

##########

For some reason Lily wasn't in the mood to celebrate the Gryffindor victory back in the common room. Maybe it was because she didn't end up going to the game. But no, that wasn't it. She rarely went to games. She found the library peacefully empty at those times.

Maybe it was because all of the Marauders would be present. Yes, that was surely it. She really hated what was happening between all of them and she knew it was her fault…just because she was too scared. These thoughts made her feel unworthy of her Gryffindor title. That stupid old hat _must_ have placed her wrong if didn't have enough _bravery_ or _courage_ to even go talk to a boy.

So instead of partying, she found a nice corner, slightly away from the action, and stuck her head in a book. Reading was her escape, her portkey to a different world without really leaving. She got so wrapped up in the adventure, angst, and romance that nothing else mattered besides finding out what happened on the next page. She received about five minutes of bliss, until Sirius strutted over looking like he was on a mission. That was slightly intimidating considering how he was headed straight at her.

"Lily, we need to talk…now" he swished his wand and a giant bubble enclosed them. The level of intimidation he was giving off rose several notches.

"Did what I said to you last week mean nothing?" he said angrily. Lily scowled. Not because of him, but because she knew what he was getting at and she knew he was right.

He pulled a crumple sheet of parchment out of his back pocket. It was the picture she had created. Lily had been quite proud of that art. It was one of the most accurate pictures of light she had ever done before. Using that method of drawing, Lily would always scribble out pictures in her spare time. It cleared her mind and helped her think strait. She looked to the particular one Sirius had copied to paper. The stick figure Lily was still in the same spot it was last time.

"Sirius I'm sorry! I can't get over my fear when James won't even look at me!"

"THEN MAKE HIM! I AM SICK OF THIS LILY! I don't want to have to explain everything to you again! I want you to do something about this!"

"WELL I'M SORRY IF I'M SCARED THAT HE _HATES_ ME! I'M SORRY THAT WHAT I'M REALLY SCARED OF IS THAT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS HE'S FORGOTTEN ME! I'M SORRY THAT I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH GRYFFINDOR IN ME! I swear my conscience has left me, because no matter how many time you tell me to do something, or you look at me funny, I still don't know how to act. I don't even know how to apologize." She whispered the last part.

She was worried that she was admitting to Sirius that she was scared _again_. He probably thought of her as weak and spineless, someone who only cares for herself. Yet, she thought she saw a glimmer of pity in his silver eyes.

Lily looked behind Sirius and saw Marlene standing there looking confused. She muttered the counter-spell to the bubble and looked at Sirius imploringly. His face said that their talk wasn't over. She waved everything that Marlene said off and pushed the paper into her pocket after Sirius practically threw it at her. She followed her friend up the spiral staircase to their dorm and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Lily, you need to do something about James." She said getting right to the point. Lily sighed.

"Wow, two in ten minutes…but you're right Marlene…and so was Sirius." Before Marlene could respond Lily bolted out of the room faster then Sirius running to dinner. She took that as a sign that Lily was finally seeing sense.

##########

"James?"

James looked up at the sound of Lily's soft voice. Lily's voice somehow reminded him of a million things at once, things like springtime and sunshine. It was the voice he had been dying to hear directed at him for the past week. He hadn't confronted her himself because he figured she had some things she needed to work out.

He had left the celebration party minutes ago hoping to get some peace and time to think. At the sight of Lilly, her words rushed back into his head and he was swept over with guilt. Little did he know that his guilt was nothing compared to hers.

"Hello" he said slowly, scared for what she would say. Did she just come to him to let her anger out again?

"I'm sorry! I-I've been in a bad mood for a while now and I let my temper get the best of me. I kind of took it all out on you for no reason last week. I feel awful! I understand if you can't forgive me," she said hanging her head.

"Of course I forgive you, Lily," he whispered. Her head shot up.

"What?"

"I forgive you."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe I just think you deserved to let all those things out. Maybe I think _I_ deserved to be yelled at."

"No, you didn't and I really am sorry.

James was on the staircase Sirius came to so often. Lily sat lowered herself next to him on the large, worn steps. They both fell silent for what seemed like several years.

"I just feel like everyone is treating me like…like I'm made of glass…like I'll break any second. I want to go back to having Marley joke around with me and be sarcastic instead of stumbling over her words because she thinks she'll hurt my feelings. I want the teachers to stop shooting me pity glances in the middle of class and I want things to be normal again. I was scared that if I talked to you, you would start acting different too." She was staring at the ground as she spoke and James could tell that she meant what she said.

"Lily, I won't look at you any different just because of a little disagreement. It _will_ take time Lily, to get what you want…but eventually things will be the way they used to be…I promise," he whispered.

Lily looked up at him and smiled sadly. She couldn't believe how easily he forgave her, how few words it took. He was amazing. His hazel eyes showed her everything he was thinking and some of it surprised her. Lily saw a feeling she had only _imagined_ he felt for her…it was a feeling she herself had only felt for her family and never for a boy.

She thought of the years in the past. She remembered when he would follow her around and serenade her in the Great Hall or throw lily petals at her in between classes. She also remembered the more serious things he did for her. Her mind wandered to fifth year after O.W.L.s when he had defended her after her best friend stabbed her in the back, or the time last year when he jumped in front of a curse for her when she was corned by a bunch of Slytherins. That specific thought made something click.

##########

James saw that Lily was deep in thought. A smile would grace her face every once-in-a-while, but suddenly, she froze. Her grin became a look of confusion and then slowly it transformed into a scowl.

"Lily? Are you okay?" he asked. Something wasn't right.

"I-I'm…ummm…do-do you ever feel like you've forgotten something?" she asked carefully thinking through each word.

"Well yeah, all the time." He said calmly, wondering where this was going.

"No…like something…something _really_ important…something that you should have remembered?" Lily felt like something in her mind was missing. Like a piece of an important puzzle was missing. This was not normal for Lily had a very good memory. She thought hard…what was it?

"I don't understand, what do you mean?" James said looking at her quizzically.

"I-I just…nothing, maybe, maybe I just imagined it…" she shook her head as if ridding it of its thoughts.

"So we're okay now right?" James asked changing the subject rapidly and hoping for the best.

"Yeah, Yeah we're great…there's something I wanted to show you though." She pulled paper out of her pocket and handed it to him. He took it gingerly and turned it over. He grinned instantly.

"This is amazing Lils, did you draw this?"

"In a way…used that spell Flitwick taught us last year. I had some help though…from Sirius, he placed me and copied it to paper." She said smiling. James laughed at his best friend's part in the artwork.

"Its brilliant Lily!"

"Would you like to keep it?" she asked. He nodded his head vigorously.

"Come on, let's get back to your party." She stood and James walked right behind her. All thoughts of the strange feeling she had were momentarily gone. After all, it was probably nothing.

**##########**

**Please Review!**


	10. Hogsmeade and Injuries

**Edited: Mar. 8, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I own none of the Harry Potter themes or characters :(.**

**##########**

Snow was sprinkling the grounds of Hogwarts ever so slowly. It was truly beautiful to watch. The sight of fresh snow falling from the sky made Lily think of past Gryffindor snowball fights and snowmen made besides Hagrid's hut.

As she enjoyed the serenity and peace of it all, James Potter walked into their small common room. He grinned broadly at the sight of his favorite red headed witch sitting at her desk by the window.

James remembered how she insisted they redesign their common room when they first moved in. Of course that was when she still despised him. She had practically divided the room in half and he was pretty sure she put a protective charm around all of her things because he received a nasty shock when he tried to pick up one of her quills.

The first thing she did to remodel was moving her desk away from its spot next to his and put it by the window were it had stayed.

Today James was feeling rather bold so with a wave of his wand his desk floated over to the spot right next to Lily's. He walked over in two large strides and sat down in the stiff chair that he brought over with the small desk.

"Morning Lily-Petal" James said. He smiled when she jumped a bit.

"James, please don't call me that," she said frowning. 'Well at least she said please' he thought. James remembered how Lily had never been much of a morning person so she was probably _very_ annoyed.

"Come on now Petal, can't I call you what I want?" he smirked and put his feet up on his sturdy desk while leaning back in his chair.

Lily proceeded to lightly push his chair back, just enough so that he fell to the floor. He grinned after he got over the shock of it and his smile became wider when he heard her laugh. Lily's laugh was James's second favorite thing in the world. It came right after Lily's eyes and right before the Marauders who came right before Quidditch. He laughed along with her for no apparent reason. It was just nice to simply laugh at something, even if it was ordinary, after all that had happed that eventful year.

He was still on the plush maroon carpet so he grabbed Lily's small hand and pulled her down next to him, still laughing. She landed with a thud to his right side and she giggled slightly. She turned her head to look at him. She stared into those deep hazel eyes and smiled broadly.

"I'M HERE! Dearest Lilykins and Prongsie, your lives just got better!" said Sirius in a loud voice as he strutted into their common room.

"We really need to stop giving him our passwords." Whispered James.

"Oooooo, I see, I interrupted one of your make-out sessions." He said smirking. Lily stood up and brushed her clothes off slightly.

"Shut it Black" she said while rolling her eyes and slugging him in the arm.

"Oh temper, temper Evans!" he said smiling.

"I have a proposition to make Lily-Flower" James said standing up and walking to her side.

"I am offering a day of extreme fun," he said.

"How so?" Lily asked shooting her eyebrow up.

"I am offering you the chance to spend the day with the Marauders!"  
>He threw in some jazz hands that Lily showed him last week.<p>

"What makes you so sure that I _want_ to spend my last Hogsmeade day before Christmas Break with _you_. Besides, judging the look on Sirius's face, I 'd say you guys haven't all agreed to this." She said crossing her arms.

James nudged Sirius with his elbow enough that he staggered slightly on impact. Sirius shook his mane of hair and pasted on a reluctant grin.

"No, its okay Lils, you can hang out with us today!" he said over enthusiastically.

"Yeah ditch Prewett and McKinnon for a day…please!" James tried his best puppy dog face and Lily tried to look away…she was unsuccessful.

"Fine, I'll spend the day with the Marauders," she paused, "yep, the world must be ending. Besides, Alice is going out with Frank and Marley had a date too." She said sighing. She was the only one without a date today; she might as well _try_ to have some fun.

Sirius's head stuck up when he heard Marlene's name.

"McKinnon has a date? With who?" he asked rapidly.

"Oh don't worry Black, its just some Ravenclaw that fancies her…she's not very interested." Lily said waving her hand in the air and walking out the portrait hole.

James chased after her and Sirius scowled, but followed anyway.

##########

"So Lily Lu, since you are spending the _day_ with us, it is customary that you need to eat breakfast with us too." Said Sirius once he caught up. Lily was a really fast walker when she wanted to be.

"Yeah fine, but what is it? Give Lily A Nickname Day?" she asked slightly annoyed.

"What do you mean?" asked James.

"Well in the last five minutes I have been called Lily-Petal, Petal, Lilykins, Lils, Evans, Lily-Flower, and Lily Lu." She said exasperated.

"Do you want a nickname Buttercup?" asked James smirking. Lily laughed.

"Sure, why not? Lets just pick one instead of fifteen billion though," she said throwing her hands up as they walked into the Great Hall. James was a bit shocked by her enthusiasm.

"Fine with me Sunshine" Sirius smiled. He slung his arm around her shoulder as they continued to walk towards the end of the Gryffindor table to sit with Peter and Remus. She laughed once again and realized, for not the first time that year, that Sirius and James weren't so bad.

"Come on Pads, Sunshine, really? I like Rainbow better." James said as he grasped her free hand and swung it up and down like a child.

"What say you? It is your nickname." Sirius said looking at Lily, his arm still around her shoulder.

"Mmmmm…I don't know James, but I think I like sunshine better." She said grinning.

As Lily turned her head to look at James's reaction she noticed that almost all the heads in the hall were turned towards them. She blushed a vivid red and looked down only to see James still swinging her hand.

"Why are they staring at us?" she asked Sirius quietly.

"Ehh, nothing to worry about Sunshine, they're just jealous that you've got two of Hogwart's most eligible guys on both your arms."

"Have you noticed that most of the guys are glaring at Sirius and I just as much as the girls are glaring at you?" James asked innocently. Lily's blush became deeper.

She once again looked around and realized that most of the girls that were glaring at her were part of either Sirius or James's fan clubs. A lot of whispering was occurring too, but she didn't really wish to hear anything they had to say at this moment.

Finally they arrived to Remus and Peter who were both giving them very pointed looks. Sirius smirked and lifted his arm up from Lily's shoulder and took a seat besides Peter. James stood there for a while and realized he was still holding Lil's hand and that that was why she hadn't sat down yet. He quickly dropped it and ran his hand through his already messy hair to try and ease the tension.

He plopped down in his seat and Lily sat between him and Remus. He saw her shoot a quick smile at Moony before she grabbed a piece of toast and slowly nibble on the ends while taking a sip of pumpkin juice every now and again (But not before she checked to make sure no spells are potions were placed on or in it).

"So Remus, Sunshine or Rainbow?" Sirius said nonchalantly as if it was an everyday question. He had to lean over slightly to look over Peter.

Remus stared at him like he was crazy and Lily almost spewed pumpkin juice out her nose because she started laughing. James had to pat her on the back to make sure she didn't choke.

"Uhhhh…sunshine I guess." Remus replied, as if it was some kind of trick that Sirius was pulling on him.

This just made Lily laugh harder because Sirius shot a very large victory grin in James's face as soon as he answered and James responded by crossing his arms and scowling.

##########

"So Flower, as this is your day to spend with the Marauders, where would you like to go first?" James asked Lily once they had all bundled up and left the castle.

Lily and the Marauders were still getting weird glances, but Lily learned to ignore them fast. Her eyes swept over the quaint village that she had learned to love.

"Oh, whatever you guys want to do. I do want to do my Christmas shopping and go to Scrivenshaft's to get some more purple sparkly ink." She said still looking around.

"Fine with us. We usually get out presents for each other so we split up for the first little bit. You can just tag along with someone if you'd like" Remus said.

"But, who said I won't get my new favorite seventh year Marauders presents either?" she said.

"You do realize that we are the _only_ Marauders, let alone seventh year Marauders, at this school, right?" Sirius asked smiling.

"Of course I do!" she said grinning, "No, but really, I wanted to get you guys presents too."

"Okay, we should meet at the Shack in an hour" squeaked Peter. The rest nodded their heads in agreement and went their separate ways.

James took off towards Zonko's, Remus went towards Dervish and Banges, Peter ran to Honeydukes, and Sirius was held back when Lily timidly tapped him on the arm.

"Yes, Sunshine? You know, Prongsie won't be happy if he finds out you held me back for a snog." He said devilishly. Lily smacked his arm and motioned for him to walk with her.

"Well, this thing is…I wanted to get James a really great present this year…since I never got him one before and he's been so nice to me this year and all that…and…I really don't know what I should get him! I want it to be really nice, but I have a rather small budget and I definitely don't want to get him anything he already has, I actually don't know much about James, I know the solid facts and basics, but he always hides in his shell when I try to ask him things and,"

"Sunshine, you're ranting." Sirius said smirking. Lily blushed a bit.

"Oh yeah…sorry…I actually kind of have an idea, but I wanted to see what you thought of it, and I would need the help of at least one Marauder any way." She was now ringing her hands.

"Sure, I'll help you, but you have to tell me what it is first." He said laughing softly.

Lily nodded and whispered her plan to him.

##########

In that hour every one had been very successful with their Christmas shopping and all where able to get what they needed. They paraded down to the Three Broomsticks once they met up so that they could get a butterbeer shake off some of the cold.

It was amazingly warm inside the small pub and it felt wonderful after scurrying around between shops in the biting snow. Sirius tried to order Firewhiskey, just like he did last time. He was once again put in his place when Madame Rosemerta told him he couldn't have it until he was seventeen. He then smartly replied that in exactly ten hours and 28 minutes he would be…she still didn't let him have it.

Luckily Sirius had been talking about when his birthday was for the past week so Lily had been able to get him a little present.

"To Zonko's next?" asked Remus once they were all finished. They all slowly filed out and made their way down to the joke shop.

"Come on Evans, don't look so scared." Sirius joked as they arrived at the doors.

"Well, this is only my second time here." She said.

"When was your first?" Peter asked while everyone else just stared.

"This morning…"she said shyly. Every one was quiet for a few moments.

It was true. She had only gone in that morning to purchase a present for Sirius and even then she had hurried in and hurried out, scared that someone would try to pull something on her while she was in the joke shop.

"Well then Flower, we shall show you the joys of pranking!" James yelled. He ushered Lily in by placing his hand on her back and pushing her slightly to towards the doors.

They all knew this was going to be very interesting.

##########

Lily actually ended up enjoying herself with the boys at Zonko's. She came out smiling and feeling glad that she chose to spend the day with them.

"Flower, Zonko's or Dervish and Banges?" James asked Lily as they passed the Three Broomsticks on their way up to the castle.

Before she could answer a flash of red light flew past her ear. She spun on her heels and saw death eater Bellatrix Black. She instantly froze. Bellatrix…this was the lady who murdered Annabelle's parents. She had done so much trouble to the world after only being out of Hogwarts for a year. The sight of Bella struck something in Lily. Perhaps it stirred up memory. But, now was not the time to think of that for the anticipation of a duel was thick in the air and it was terrifying.

She looked over and saw the Marauders had turned too. Each was in a personal staring match with one of the black robed wizards.

"Hello Bella! How are you? I hear you're engaged now! Must be lovely to marry a cold-blooded, killing, death eater!" Sirius said trying to act calm.

Lily could tell he was actually terrified. Behind Bellatrix where at least six other death eaters and Lily was somehow able to recognize four of them. How? None of them, besides Bellatrix, ever went to Hogwarts while she was there. Her mind felt oddly hazy and clouded, like she was forgetting something. It was just like what happened after the Quidditch Match, but this time it was stronger.

"You filthy TRAITOR! You tarnished the Black name! You will be sorry." Bellatrix said menacingly.

She threw the first curse right at Sirius, one they all knew to be the Cruciatus curse. He was able to duck out of the way not a second to soon. In anger he tossed his own hex back at her. This triggered a chain reaction.

The sounds of dueling filled the cold, frosty, air. So, she took action. She used her instincts to fire hex after hex. She was barley aware that Madame Rosemerta had seen what was happening and was desperately trying to contact the school and keep the other students in her pub.

Red light was flying and strings of swear words would flow out of the death eater's mouths every time they got hit. Lily could practically sense the fear floating off the Marauders who were battling fiercely. It was six full-grown followers of Voldemort against four seventeen-year-olds. They were obviously loosing. Remus had a broken leg and a long gash across his right arm. James on the other hand was dripping blood from his forehead and his arm was twisted in a manner that made Lily want to retch. Sirius was the worst. Bellatrix was personally taking on him and he was covered in cuts and scrapes, he was also sporting a brilliant purple black eye. Luckily Peter had gone to use the bathroom so he was still safe.

Lily was currently dueling a wizard she somehow knew to be Rudolphus Lestrange. He was very violent, but she was able to keep him at bay. She shot a strong 'expelliarmus' at him that sent the man flying backwards. He hit his head against a large, grey rock and he blacked out instantly. She ran to help Sirius because she knew he needed it the most.

She ducked almost all the curses that were thrown her way. Halfway through, she got hit with a variation of a cutting charm she knew to be of Severus's creation. Apparently he was lending his spells to these maniacs. It hit her along her ribs and hurt worse then anything she had ever felt. She shot the doer in the stomach with a stunner and waved her wand on the wound. She was able to create several hastily done stitches that would have to work until help came. She knew she wouldn't stop bleeding if she hadn't done anything.

She finally got to Sirius and was able to push him out of the way just in time to avoid a green light shot by his cousin. Killing? She was astounded at the lengths Bellatrix was going to. Why would they randomly attack teenagers anyway?

Her fight alongside Sirius seemed to continue on forever even though this whole escapade had really only lasted three minutes. She would sometimes see James shoot a spell from over where he was fighting, but nothing they shot ever hit the madwomen. They all knew they were just stalling until help came.

Lily's mind became fuzzier and fuzzier to the point where she almost couldn't fight any longer. Something was terribly wrong; she had forgotten something very important and she needed to remember it.

"CRUCIO!" Bellatrix yelled savagely pointing her wan towards Lily.

Lily felt like she was being stabbed by a thousand knifes over and over again. She also felt as if she wearing drowning, chocking, being suffocated, and hung. Hot tears flowed down her face, as the pain grew stronger. She felt the stiches on her side break and she felt the blood start to flow. She heard voices screaming her name and she tried to stay awake, she was terrified at what would happen if she closed her eyes now.

She then heard the voice of Professor McGonagall. Despite the pain, she felt hope shoot through her body. They were saved.

Suddenly Lily heard the sound of someone apparating and the pain was gone. Right before she passed out, she remembered what she had forgotten.

##########

**I hope you liked this chapter! Sorry for the cliffhanger! PLEASE REVIEW! :)**


	11. Hospital Wings and Remembering

**Edited: March 17, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**Warning: Graphic scenes in this chapter (bloody, very bloody)**

##########

James felt weak, like the world was ending…like he would rather die then go through _any_ of this. Lily, _his Lily-Flower_, was being tortured in front of his eyes…and he could do _nothing_ but scream along with her.

He had desperately wanted to run to her side the moment the battle had started. He wanted to protect her and keep her from harm, but before he could step even an inch towards her, a stream of green light flew past his ear. So James battled for his life. All the hexes and jinxes he shot where for Lily, to make sure that this death eater wouldn't get to her.

He noticed the girl he loved make her way over to Sirius and Bellatrix. His insane cousin was pummeling Sirius, his best friend. He wanted to protect Remus and Sirius just as much as he wanted to protect Lily, but he couldn't really do that either.

He felt the dark magic coursing through the air before he heard Bellatrix scream that cursed word.

When it hit Lily, he was caught of guard and the death eater that he was dueling used it to his advantage. Before James understood what was going on, he was tied up with ropes. Not being able to move, he was forced to watch.

Seeing Lily being hurt was like his personal torture. The look on Bellatrix's face was one that made his stomach twist and turn. She looked happy, ecstatic even, that she was torturing a girl who she thought to be below her, it made James want to retch.

James knew Lily was slowly breaking under the curse that Bella was using over and over. He saw that Remus was passed out in the snow and Sirius was also tied. He looked ever bit as disgusted and James saw the cold hard hatred and the need to help gleaming in his silver eyes.

At the sound of a different shriek, James realized they were saved. It was Professor McGonagall who screamed at the sight of her student being tortured. Bellatrix flinched and in seconds she vanished with a loud 'CRACK'. The other death eaters soon followed her.

He felt the bands around him fall to the ground when the professor waved her wand. She was deathly pale and her eyes were trained on Lily. James instantly ran to the girl and took her in his arm.

Lily was covered in angry red marks that vaguely resembled rope burns. He realized they were the markings of the cruciatus that was used on her. The rest of her body was covered in various cuts and bruises. He lifted his hand off her and gasped when he found it in bright red blood, her blood.

He lifted her shirt up to find the sickening substance flowing out of a large gash on her ribs. She was loosing blood quickly and the snow around them was starting to change from its original pearly white to the sickening maroon. He saw bits of string around the wound and he realized she had tried to fix it earlier.

His hand was shaking too hard to use his wand so he tore a piece of his shirt off and rapped it around her small ribcage. His right arm was hurting unbearably, it was obviously dislocated, but Lily was more important now. Professor McGonagall was standing above in shock. Hadn't she been trained for this sort of thing?

"Professor!" he yelled his voice cracking, she barely moved.

"Potter, please take Ms. Evans up to castle quickly!" she said shaking.

"N-n-no, I c-cant'. PLEASE PROFESSOR! She's d-dying!" his voice was shaking and he felt anger rush through him.

Professor McGonagall turned even paler at the words. She instantly gathered Lily's small figure up in her arms and apparated, assumedly to Hogwarts (teachers had special abilities).

##########

Sirius saw James run to Lily and he and Professor McGonagall were closely behind him. Lily's red hair was splayed out around her head like a fiery halo. Her leg was bent at an unnatural angle, almost worst then James's arm, and a spot of blood was forming on her shirt. What was that?

Apparently James had seen it too for he carefully moved her shirt up a bit to reveal a gaping hole in Lily's side. This was bad, she was loosing too much blood too fast and Professor McGonagall was frozen. Before Sirius was about to spring into action, James voiced his fears and Professor McGonagall quickly apparated.

Tears were running down James's face. Sirius had never seen him cry before in all the six years he had known him. He barely felt tears falling down his own face as well.

Sirius wordlessly turned around and knelt over by Remus, he caused a stream of water to shoot out of his wand. Sirius sat down in the snow as Moony started to wake up. James came and sat beside him.

Remus slowly sat up and winced when he moved his leg.

"Are you guys okay? Where's Lily?" Remus asked in a rush. He had blacked out moments before the cruciatus was used so he had no idea what had happened.

He noticed the tears on the boys' faces and he assumed the worst. He hung his head and sobbed.

"Moony, she's…she's not dead." Sirius whispered after imagining what Remus was thinking.

Remus lifted his head up in hope.

"Really? Then where is she!" he tried to stand, but fell back again.

"McGonagall took her to the castle…its really bad Remus, she lost a lot of blood… she was hit with the cruciatus too." Sirius stuttered.

James was just staring at the spot Lily used to lay. Remus's eyes followed the direction James's were pointed at. He gasped when he saw the pool of blood in the snow.

Sirius looped his arm around Remus's shoulder and helped him stand. James took up the other shoulder and the three slowly made their way to the castle. None of them noticed Peter hadn't yet come back from the bathroom. What were the chances that he had missed the whole thing? They were very small.

##########

A week passed and Lily still hadn't woken. She was healing well and it was definitely a close call. A nice rosy color was slowly starting to come back to her cheeks.

When the three boys had returned to the castle that day, they were thoroughly checked over by Madame Pomphrey. As soon as she was finished they were rushed to Professor Dumbledore's office to get questions by the headmaster, and later, the Minister of Magic herself.

"Why would death eaters randomly attack a bunch of seventeen year olds?" Remus had asked.

"They were trying to strike fear in those present or those who will hear or have heard what happened. It was their idea of 'fun'. I also have reason to believe that Ms. Evans had something to do with the ambush, but that is merely an educated guess. We need the solid facts." Dumbledore had replied.

James had spent that whole week glued to Lily's side, and everyone let him. He was excused from all his classes and he rarely showed up for meals. Sirius and Remus were also seen in the Hospital Wing quite often. They had both grown to think of Lily as a sister. She was one of them now. Peter sometimes tagged along, but no one thought to ask him why he hadn't been involved in the duel.

When Alice and Marlene had learned of what had happened, they rushed to the Hospital Wing demanding an explanation from the Marauders. They had given it to them slowly and painfully. They were in the Hospital Wing a lot too, but not as much as the Marauders. What the Marauders were doing seemed impossible. Somehow they managed.

Flowers and candy were pilled around the girl's bed from various admirers and friends. They all knew she would be very surprised when she woke up. Sirius actually suspected that James was living off of some of the candy, when else would he eat?

##########

It was on the eighth day of Lily's painful slumber that her eyes fluttered open to reveal those wonderful emerald orbs. Her first sight was James looking down at her in joy, his eyes glistening with what she thought to be happy tears.

"Oh Lily! I thought I would lose you!" he gasped. She looked around to see Remus and Sirius sitting on her other side.

She almost smiled, but her eyes blurred with hot, angry tears when she thought of why they had been attacked at Hogsmeade. Yes, she now knew why. She also knew why her parents were dead.

Why would death eaters randomly burn down a house in the middle of the street in the middle of a small neighborhood? How come it was that house only? How come that house just happened to be occupied by the parents of a muggle-born witch? What are the chances? Well now Lily knew the answers. It was the thing she had been trying so hard to remember. It was all her fault. Petunia was right.

James reached over and wiped Lily's gushing tears away with his thumb. He was confused as to why she was crying. Did he do something wrong? 

"Shhh, Lily, you're okay! We're all okay, you don't need to cry!" he whispered sitting down beside her and pulling her close with his well arm, his other was currently in a sling. Sirius and Remus were just as confused.

"N-n-no, I d-d-o need to cry J-James! It's a-all m-m-y fault!" she sobbed into his shirt.

Madame Pomphrey came bustling out of her office at all of the noise and shooed the boys away from Lily's bed. She poured a dreamless sleep potion down her throat and Lily slowly nodded off before she could say anything else.

She answered the boys' questioning looks.

"I know she just woke up, but you will be able to talk to her tomorrow, she needed to calm down. All that adrenaline that was pumping through her was no good for her recovery." She said sternly as she bustled away.

James sighed, feeling the happiness leave. At least she had woken up. So for the first time in a week, James ate dinner in the Great Hall.

##########

That night, after feeling rather lonely, James decided to go on an adventure to the Hospital Wing to visit Lily. He grabbed his cloak and the map and made his way down the stairs of the Head's dorm and he walked out the hole.

He puled his invisibility cloak over himself and checked the Marauder's Map to make sure the coast was clear. It was. He then started to carefully make his way down the moving staircase.

When he got to the bottom and he rounded the corner that was in the direction of the sick room. He ran into a small figure that hissed in pain at the contact. He pulled off his cloak, about to apologize.

"Lumos" he whispered.

The light shone through the corridor and he saw it was Lily that was standing in front of him. She was doubled over in pain and her hand was clutching her side that had been injured. Her red hair covered her face like a curtain.

James grabbed onto her elbow and helped her stand up straight. When he got a look at her face he noticed her eyes were puffy and red and little tear tracks were littered over her cheeks.

"Lily, are you okay?" he asked softly. She gasped in relief when she realized it was him.

Lily had snuck out of the Hospital Wing to go and speak to Professor Dumbledore. It was a bit past two in the morning, but she figured this was too important to wait until later. When she ran into James she was terrified she had been caught. Not to mention that she was scared her wound would open again.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered.

"I came to see you. What are _you_ doing here?" He asked. His hazel eyes were sparkling as if catching Lily Evans out after hours was something that he never thought he would have seen.

"I need to see the Headmaster." She said looking at the floor.

"Would you like my to come with you?" he said.

She shrugged and he took that as a yes. He looped his arm through hers and steered her in the right direction.

When they arrived at Dumbledore's office, James gave the password and they both made their way up. He slowly knocked on the door and heard a quiet, "Come in".

He pushed it open to see the lights on and the Professor in his pajamas sitting at his desk. Something made James think that the headmaster knew they were coming. He walked over to the chairs with Lily in tow and sat her down beside him.

"Would you like to talk to me Ms. Evans?" the man asked with twinkling eyes.

"Well you see Professor," she started, "I-I think that I had a memory charm cast over me…" she said carefully. James was confused. This wasn't what he expected to hear.

"And why is that?" Dumbledore asked.

"Well, It started after the last Quidditch match," she said. James suddenly remembered her asking him if he "had ever forgotten something really important, something you shouldn't forget."

"I was speaking with James and I was thinking of the time he helped me with those Slytherins that had cornered me," she blushed slightly, "it made feel as if I had forgotten something. The feeling went away, but would come back at the oddest moments. When those death eaters appeared, I was able to recognize most of them even though I have never seen them before." She paused to hear what Dumbledore had to say.

"Those are signs of a memory charm Ms. Evans, but I assume there is more to this tale." Lily nodded at his words.

"W-When Bellatrix hit me with that curse…over and over again," James held on to her hand tighter, "I slowly started to remember." Tears were now forming in her green eyes.

"Would you mind telling me what this memory was?" the professor asked. Lily nodded.

"I remembered that at the beginning of the year, maybe a week before my parents passed, that I had left our common room to go on a walk and clear my mind. It wasn't very late, maybe nine o'clock at night. I was nearing the Ravenclaw common room when I heard a noise. I turned and saw Bellatrix, with others standing behind her. Just like in Hogsmeade." Lily's tears were thicker and coming faster now. "She wanted to recruit me…even though I'm a muggle-born…s-she said that Voldemort needed people with smart minds like me.

She said they would be willing to create new papers for me and declare we a pureblood so that I could join the death eaters. I don't think Voldemort knew because the other seemed afraid of what was happening." She paused again and Dumbledore looked thoughtful. She continued, "I refused…so she threatened me…she said she would hurt my friends and she would target me…I still said no, she hit me with the cruciatus…only once, and then she told me s-s-she" Lily couldn't continue and she buried her head in James's shirt. Sobs racked her frame.

He put his hand on her head and held her close, breathing in the scent of strawberries. They sat there for a few moments.

"Lily" Dumbledore said, calling her by her first name. She twitched slightly and he continued, "I believe I understand what you are trying to tell me…it isn't your fault" he said the last part with amazing strength and power. So much that James could almost _feel_ it.

"You did the right thing, and I am guessing they would have done it any way. I do believe this is the reason you were confronted at Hogsmeade; this isn't your fault either. Thank you for telling me Lily. But you must know something else. If I understand correctly, you are the first witch to break a memory charm. You have amazing resistance and have the potential to do _great_ things. Now I want you to go back to the Hospital Wing before Madame Pomphrey finds out you left. I now have some business to attend to."

James stood and took the crying Lily with him. He took her back to the Hospital Wing and set her in her bed. He slowly climbed in next to her.

"Lily, you know you can tell me anything?" he said. She nodded and her tears stopped soon after.

"They threatened to kill my parents if I didn't join…and they did."

##########

**Ta-da! I hope you like my speedy quick update (you have to admit, one day is pretty good!). Sorry for any mistakes. They will be fixed once I finish the whole story. Please Review and tell me what you thought of the thing Lily remembered! :)**


	12. New Friends and Assuming the Worst

**Edited: March 17, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

James felt as if a load of bricks had been dropped on top of his head the moment Lily told him what was behind the Memory Charm that was put on her. This meant that Voldemort's followers were actually taking action. In the Daily Prophet you heard of all the threats made by the death eaters, but no one ever knew if those threats were carried out. You see, none of them got mentioned in the paper. It was as if the Ministry was trying to make things seem not as bad. Now, now he had an idea of what was going on. But, it happened to Lily, his Lily. It made the future look so much worse.

##########

The next morning Lily was released from the Hospital Wing, but she was only a strand of her old self, maybe even a wisp. She walked around as if she were a corpse, with no feelings or cares. Her mind focused on one thing and it was as steady as her own heartbeat. _It's my fault…It's my fault…It's my fault_. She felt worse then she did the day she had learned of her parent's tragic deaths.

At mealtimes she hardly ate and when she was asked a question in class her voice cracked from its recent lack of use. Lily no longer had any will power to do anything. Why should she? She would find herself just sitting in the common room staring into the fire night after night. She would even discover a bit of solace in watching the little firework show the flying sparks gave off.

At first, her friends had tried to help. Alice and Marlene tried to snap her out of it, but it was no use. They would mutter words of encouragement when they saw her and often gave large hugs, but to no avail.

Remus commonly left a bit of chocolate by her side. He said it was the best emotional medicine. That didn't seem to make any difference either.

Sirius was the one who would just sit at her side every night. He didn't say a word. His presence was the only thing that had been tried that gave her the least bit of comfort. He wasn't treating her like a china doll. He was just being there.

James on the other hand was too distraught himself to try and relieve some of her pain. His way of showing it was just different. On the outside he was just fine, but on the inside he was in shock.

##########

In a week's time, Lily decided that enough was enough. She tried to reduce the problem, but she knew it would never disappear. She laughed and seemed herself again, but on the inside she was still broken. Only those closest to her realized that something was still off (The Marauders, and Alice and Marlene). They all decided to ignore it and hope that she would slowly continue to return to the Lily they knew and loved. They completely forgot that their friend wasn't quite right the day after they made their decision…all but Sirius anyway.

That second week of December was amazing compared to the first and laughs were heard all around as the sense of Christmas arrived.

"Hello Sunshine, miss me?" Sirius said jokingly as he slid into the seat next to the right of Lily.

She was obviously deep in thought and Sirius noticed that her smile quavered a bit and her eyes were shining slightly as if they were filled with tears moments ago. Those three awful words were still playing in her head. _It's my fault_.

"Why of course I did! Why wouldn't I miss my favorite marauder?" she said playing along while trying to forget what she had previously been thinking about. It seemed to be the best method.

They received many laughs from their friends. James, who was on Lily's left, was the only one who really didn't find it funny, but he choked out a laugh anyway.

"You know what Lilykins?" he asked grabbing both her hands in his tightly, "We should run away together! Lets leave this cruel world and escape to a land of ice cream and lollipops!" She grinned.

"Oh my Siri-bunny! I thought you would never ask!" she shrieked and added an obnoxious giggle for effect. Everyone else guffawed.

Then Sirius stood up, with her hand still in his, and dragged her out of the great hall behind his skipping. Everyone smiled at the friends' antics and resumed eating their breakfast on that soon to be eventful Saturday morning. Several of the group found it strange that Sirius actually pulled Lily away, but they figured that if it was going to make her happy, it didn't matter.

##########

Once Sirius finished skipping out of the Great Hall, his face took on a much more 'I mean business' look. His grip on Lily' hand became tighter and he dragged her outside to sit under the favorite tree of the Marauders and Lily and her friends. He conjured up a blanket so that when they sat down, the snow wouldn't get them wet. He knew Lily was probably terribly confused so he took a seat and pulled her down with him. She let out a high-pitched shriek and landed in his lap and he looked at her in a way she had never seen him look at her before.

"No, Sirius. This can't happen" she said matter-of-fact tone and stood up to leave. Had Sirius somehow developed a crush on her without her realizing it?

Before she walked away, she saw something she never thought she would ever see. Sirius Black was blushing. It made her back track and wait for some sort of explanation.

"No Lily, I don't think of you that way either…it was a total accident." He said rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Lily took a seat beside him and smiled to show she understood. That sure was a relief.

"I-I just…Lily, I know something's wrong, and I want to help you because I almost feel like it's my job to do something about it because no one else realizes what's going on!" he said quickly.

Lily then understood what that look had said before. It _was_ a look of love, just as she had thought…but it was a lot different then how she sometimes caught James looking at her…it was just like how her parents looked at her or how she used to look at her sister. Sirius had become the brother she never had and she was his never existent sister. They did understand each other better, but that was because they had gone through a lot of the same dilemmas.

Sirius had lost his brother just as Lily and lost her sister. Sirius had lost his parents just as Lily had lost hers even if it was in a different sense. They both had to stay strong in order to get through life and sometimes only people who know what you're going through can make a difference.

James would always be there for Lily too, but in different ways. He would always be there to comfort her and make her feel loved, but he couldn't reduce the problem.

Lily found herself burst into tears as she thought of how lucky she was to have such brilliant friends who knew her so vey well. Sirius put his arm around his shoulder just like he did in the Great Hall before Hogsmeade, but this time he pulled her close and whispered words of encouragement in her ear.

Lily set her head on Sirius's shoulder as she had done to James after her parents had passed, but this time it was also different then the previous. She didn't feel warm and tingly, like fireworks were going off, like she did last time. This time she felt finally understood and she felt like she could confide anything to this boy…anything about her sorrows or worries or anything about the crush she might have developed on James.

The two friends sat there in that spot for a long while just savoring the silence until Lily decided to break it.

"I killed my parents Sirius," she whispered in a haunted voice. She buried her head in his shoulder and he pulled her closer.

"Lily, please tell me what you mean." He said equally softly.

"T-they wanted to recruit me…and I said no so they killed them…it's my fault." She sobbed.

Sirius now understood the deep sense of sadness Lily felt. She thought herself a murderer for doing the right thing.

"Sunshine, did you set the fire?" he said pulling her head away from his shoulder and looking her in the eye.

"N-no" she said slightly confused.

"Then perhaps you set the dark mark across the house?" he asked.

"No" she said more steadily this time.

"Then you have absolutely no reason to blame yourself what-so-ever." He said strongly.

"But Sirius! If," 

"If what Lily? If you would have joined _his_ side you really would be responsible for the loss of lives." He said before she could finish.

Finally, Lily saw things in a whole new perspective. Maybe Sirius was right…she wasn't even there when it had happened…why would she be responsible for killing them?

Sirius could tell Lily was starting to understand so he decided to skid over to a happier topic. A topic that had absolutely nothing to do with what they had previously been talking about.

"Do you remember how in the fifth year James was bald for a month, Sunshine?" he said grinning at the memory, Lily nodded her head.

"Well, that all happened just because James stole Remus's chocolate." He chuckled. He knew the subject was random, but it was something no one else knew.

She laughed long and hard at the memory of James's face as he walked into the Great Hall that day and how Remus kept himself at least ten feet away from him at all times just in case James decided to hex him back.

"Do you remember how during Halloween in the fourth year all the pictures in the school had mustaches for the semester?" Lily asked trying not to laugh.

"Yeah! We got blamed for that and were given a week of detention! It was a great prank though." He said wistfully.

"Well, it was me who did it." She said giggling.

"Well I never! Who knew Little Miss Sunshine here had a taste for the fine art of pranking!" he said laughing along.

"I actually did it because Marlene told me I was boring and never liked to have any fun." She said.

"I'm sure that showed her! Do you remember when," he started.

They continued in this manner until lunch. Each telling each other a story that they knew would make the other laugh or smile. It made Lily truly happy for the first time in quite a while.

##########

James watched green with envy as his best friend, now ex-best friend, sat with his arm around the girl of James's dreams. Sirius was able to make her laugh…something James had been trying to do since she lost her parents. He couldn't believe his best friend would do this to him! James let that guy live with him and he was stealing Lily away!

After they walked out of the Great Hall, holding hands of course, he had left once her finished breakfast (in about an hour's time) to investigate and find out the reason why the two were missing. He only got his heart broken in two when he saw them smiling and laughing together cuddled up close.

It was decided; Sirius was no longer his brother.

**##########**

**Ooooo, James is seeing the wrong side of the story and assuming the worst! Sorry for the cliffhanger…again. New chapter will be up soon!**

**P.S. What do you think of James's jealousy?**


	13. An Awkward Lunch and a Purple Bruise

**Edited: March 17, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

Sirius and Lily entered the Great Hall after their talk for lunch. They were met with confused looks from half and glares from the other half of their friends. Lily, who was feeling much better now, barely noticed and tried to make small talk between the groups to no avail. Everything the others said was strained, as if they had something they would like to say.

Eventually Lily gave up and struck a conversation with Sirius. They talked about Potions and Professor Slughorn's obsession with Lily, they also talked about the upcoming Quidditch matches (a topic Lily usually avoided), and they debated on who was better at singing, Sirius or a dying cat. Their laughs added to the usual chatter of the Great Hall, but it just provoked more strange looks from their friends.

All the accusing glances were annoying Lily after a few minutes, she wasn't one to enjoy the limelight…even if it was from her friends. Their looks made her think that her hair was purple or something. No one noticed when she glanced down at her crimson locks just to make sure everything was normal.

Ignoring it became almost impossible. She felt like ripping her hair out and screaming dramatically like they did in those muggle soap operas her neighbor used to watch every Tuesday.

Towards the end of lunch, Lily decided she had enough. Her head was once again spinning like it had down so often that year. She could no longer stand the heated glares James would shoot at Sirius. It was like he was trying to burn a hole in the back of his head! Remus was even worse…he looked as if he had just watched an innocent puppy dog get tortured while Marlene acted like she was rudely awaked with Game Plan #3 at one in the morning. Lily decided she would like to go back to the Head's common room to start her Transfiguration essay that was due Monday instead of sitting through the rest of the awkward lunch.

"Well Sirius, I think I'm going to go and work on that essay from McGonagall." She said laughing nervously. She swung her long legs out from under the table. "Would you like to come?" she asked her newfound friend.

"Sure Sunshine." He said grinning. He had been able to sense the tension in the air aside for the whole duration of lunch. As he was about to stand up, he felt a hand on his shoulder. The hand was gripping him a bit too tightly.

"Lily, I actually need to talk to Sirius for a while, is it okay if a steal him away from you for a bit?" James asked sounding a little to happy. Lily nodded skeptically and walked out the Great Hall quickly.

James grabbed Sirius's upper arm and dragged him out, not caring about any pain Sirius might be in. He pulled them behind a secret passageway and cast a silencing charm on the entrance. He then let all his anger out on his best friend

"WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" he yelled. Sirius looked confused.

"Calm down Prongs, what're you talking about?" He asked calmly. That just made it worse.

"YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! I'VE BEEN PINNING AFTER LILY FOR SIX FREAKING YEARS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING STEALING HER FROM ME?" James said, his face was contorted with fury. He felt betrayed and stabbed in the back by his best friend. Confusion muddled his brain.

How could Sirius do this to him? His week had been rough enough. Lily had still been in a state of depression even though she acted as if things were fine. Sirius hadn't known that James actually realized what was happening. I mean, this was the girl he had secretly admired for 2 years and openly pursed for 4.

He knew her every move and emotion. He knew that when she thought their pranks were funny her eyes would sparkle…only for a second even though her glare said otherwise. He also knew that when she was sad and trying to push it away she braided a little strand of her hair while she was talking to get her mind off things. If you looked at her know you could dozens of tiny braid littering her perfect hair that had knotted at the tightness she had used so they wouldn't come out. Some may call it stalking, but James called it love.

Sirius's face was blank for a few seconds before things clicked for him. Obviously James had followed them and he was getting the wrong idea. No wonder he was fuming. A man in love was a scary thing to deal with. It was almost scarier then a girl in love. The guy may act all macho on the outside, but they were letting down barriers for the girl on the inside. He took a few more seconds to contemplate what to say.

"Prongs, you don't understand," he started, thinking it was the best approach. James cut him off abruptly.

"WHAT DON'T I UNDERSTAND? HAVE YOU PERHAPS LIKED HER FOR ALMOST HALF YOUR LIFE TOO? DOES THAT AUTOMATICALLY MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY?"

"No that isn't it," he started only to be cut off again.

"THEN WHAT IS IT? WHY ARE YOU MESSING AROUND WITH LILY?"

"Calm down," he said once more, "Just let me talk," Instead of James screeching at him again, Sirius got punched across the face and James stormed out of the passageway. Sirius sunk to the floor in pain.

The whole episode had only lasted for about three minutes, but they were some of the worst minutes Sirius had every experienced. If only Prongs had listened to him. If only he had given him a chance to actually say something useful. He hated seeing his friend hurt so badly. If it had been him he would have punched the guy too.

The only other time he had seen James so mad was when he had told Snape of Remus's transformation spot and almost got him killed. Now James was just jumping to conclusions. Sirius wasn't worried if about the nasty bruise that wasn't started to from on his cheek…he was worried that he would be alone again.

##########

Lily was finishing up her essay in a record time (she tended to _think_ her worries away by pushing her brain to its academic boundaries) when James ran into the common room, shot her a look of pure venom and ran up the stairs to his dorm, also in record time. Lily was tempted to follow him, but she knew she should let him cool down before she found out what the problem was. Did it have to do with Sirius? James _had_ wanted to talk to him earlier. She knew it had to do with the strange lunch.

Being Lily, she went to investigate because she hated it when people were sad…that's just who she was.

##########

Sirius first made his way up to the Gryffindor common room. He walked through the portrait hole and saw Remus, Peter, Alice, and Marlene all whispering together in a corner.

He walked over to them hesitantly.

"Hey guys." He said rubbing the back of his neck. They all stopped talking and turned to look at him. It was a sure signal that they had been talking about him. They all stared at his swollen eyes for a few moments.

Apparently James had told them that he and Lily were secretly dating or something crazy like that.

Remus's look was one of pure pity. Peter looked conflicted as if he didn't know of which side to be in. Alice smiled encouragingly, like she didn't really care what was happening…Sirius could look behind that smile though and see that she was very confused. Marlene's look was the worst of them all. She looked furious…almost as mad as James had been.

Sirius understood why. She thought that Sirius had broken James's heart. Due to Marlene being a pureblood, she and James had known each other since a very young age. Marley's family was one of the nicer purebloods and the McKinnons and Potters were good friends. Marley and James grew up putting spiders in each other's beds and turning each other's hair colors to match that of a rainbow. She didn't want James hurt any less then he did.

She stood and looked at him menacingly.

"Sirius, you need to leave." She growled.

"No wait guys, James had it all mixed up! He wouldn't even let me explain anything!" he said trying to make things better.

"Sirius…go. We all know how you act around girls…you just _have_ to get _all_ of them to snog you. In the end you won't have just broken James's heart, you would have broken Lily's too." Remus said standing to his full height. Sirius was still a few inches taller but Remus's amber eyes were glinting dangerously. This was new. Remus was usually the calm and collected one who thought things out before he reacted.

His worse fear came true…now he _was_ alone. Without saying another word he turned around and left feeling like he was going to be sick.

He took the long trek down the moving stairs and walked outside. The cold was biting and the snow powdery. He ducked a snowball that was thrown by a third year that was trying to hit his friend. The kid yelled a quick, "SORRY!" Sirius ignored it…he was getting good at doing that. Various snowmen and women were being made across the Hogwarts grounds. Scarves of all colors adorned their white necks. Bits of blue and bronze, red and gold, yellow and black, and even a few green and silver were seen everywhere. Most of the younger years were outside today enjoying the upcoming Christmas season. Christmas…it was in two weeks. The last fight James and Sirius had lasted three months. It looked as if Sirius would be staying at Hogwarts for the holidays this year.

##########

Lily found Sirius wandering around outside. A large purple and green bruise was prominent on his face and she gasped. She pulled her scarf tighter around her neck to fend off the chilly air and approached him slowly.

He barely even turned around at the sound of her feet crunching in the snow. She tapped his shoulder timidly and he slowly turned to face her. Tears were sparkling in his eyes. Sirius Black once again surprised her that day. She had never seen him close to crying. She pulled him into a hug and he tensed so she let go and looked into his silver eyes. He looked down and fidgeted a bit…not many were able to hold Lily Evans's questioning stare.

"Sirius…what's wrong?" she asked biting the corner of her lip.

"Why do you care _Evans_?" He said bitingly. Lily's considerate frown turned into a hurt scowl. She flipped around, the ends of her fiery hair hitting him in the face, and started to walk off.

Sirius's own scowl faded a bit and his tears threatened to fall, but the dam holding them back was still intact…for now.

"W-wait Lily…I'm sorry." He said. He watched her pause and turn around. The hurt on her face slid off and she looked genuinely worried. How was he so lucky to have such a good friend? Little did he know, Lily had been thinking something along the same lines only hours ago.

Just a year ago Lily and Sirius could only stand each other when they were forced to. Talk outside of classes was non-existent and something like a hug between them was unheard off. Now they were some of the only things keeping each other standing.

"I'd like that hug now." He whispered. He was now at his most vulnerable point and Lily knew it.

She nodded and pulled him into her tight, comforting embrace. She felt his warm, wet tears trickle down her jacket. She then grabbed his hand and pulled him, a lot gentler then James had, away from their current spot. He was led inside and he kept his head down so that no one would see him in his current condition. If your best friend had just punched you, the person who took you in when your own parents wouldn't, over a simple misunderstanding at that, you would be crying too. That friend had not only punched him, he also practically declared the end of their friendship and with a matter so close to James's heart the fear that it was going to be permanent was present.

Sirius felt like he was run over by a monster truck, forced to watch a copy of himself pull an awful prank, and eat Wormtail all in an hour. That kind of thing could make a person sick to their stomach.

They walked up to the tapestry of the lion that they both knew so well by now and Lily momentarily let go of his hand to pull it open. Her other hand was housing her wand…it hadn't left her grip since her memory returned. In her memory she actually didn't have it on her, which was why she wasn't able to protect herself…she hadn't told Dumbledore that small detail. Now…now she even slept with it tightly clasped in her small hand.

Lily sat down and Sirius sat beside her, just like they had earlier that morning. She muttered a few complicated incantations and he felt the bruise on his face fade.

"Did James do that to you?" she asked. He only nodded. "I told you all my problems now it's time you told me yours" she said encouragingly.

Sirius didn't want to think this was her fault…it wasn't at all, but she would somehow be able to make it look like it was.

"I just lost my best friend, Sunshine" he looked blankly at the wall as he talked. He barely noticed when Lily set her head on his shoulder.

"H-he won't listen to me…its all because I have such an awful reputation that he can't trust me. Half those rumors that have gotten passed around aren't even true and we all used to laugh at them…now he believes them. If I hadn't tried so hard to find the perfect match for me, I wouldn't have gone through girlfriends so fast…this might not have happened. Or if I hadn't kissed 10 of the Ravenclaw girls in sixth year, the rumor that I had kissed all of them wouldn't have been put out. I know everyone thinks I'm a player…and now it makes Prongs assume the worst." He said quietly as if someone would hear Sirius Black actually telling a girl his _feelings_.

That just wasn't something he did. He was the cool and collected most wanted guys at Hogwarts…the one who got detention just because he was _suspected_ of doing something bad. He had his perfect hair and the eyes all the girls called, "intense enough to out show a thunderstorm". One thing he wasn't was someone who did what he was doing.

"This is about me isn't it Sirius" Lily said reading between the lines. She felt his shoulder tense under her resting head.

"He think you like me and now he's mad," she said, "He think you made me fall for you…he really cares about me doesn't he?" she asked. Sirius nodded.

"I'm sorry I got you into this mess…if I had just told him my feelings for him sooner then you wouldn't be in this mess…if I did it now though…he would think you made me lie just so you could be friends with him again." She continued. Sirius sighed.

"But don't worry…I won't leave you. We'll fix this." She said. Now she was determined.

##########

**I hope you liked this chapter! I know my posts are VERY random…I promise to fix that. I am now going to post a new chapter (for this story) every Saturday like clockwork unless you are otherwise notified. I have also decided I won't post my next chapter before I get up to at least 35 reviews. Life of Lily is more popular then ever and the reviews are still incredibly low, like maybe three a chapter. I really appreciate those who have reviewed…but my will to continue to write is decreasing when no one speaks their mind! I just wish to hear your opinion of my story…good or bad! If I don't have 35 reviews by Saturday I am holding my chapter hostage! I know I probably sound really greedy right now haha. A writer had to do what a writer had to do.**


	14. Trust and Confuzzling Moments

**Edited: March 19, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This starts from Remus's view on what happened in the last two chapters and then it continues on from the point of the last one.**

**##########**

Remus wasn't surprised when Sirius declared that he wanted to run away with Lily during breakfast. Just the week before in charms he had gotten down on one knee, pulled out a muggle ring pop (Remus had no idea where he got it) and said,

"Lily Evans…" the whole class was shocked and the leader of Sirius fan club had fainted. What he said next surprised all of them, "will you do my homework for me?" He then stood, licked the ring pop and looked at her expectantly while the class had a hard time breathing in between their laughter. She of course turned his hair purple and informed him that he was a no good, lazy, pizza brain. When Sirius asked what pizza was she stomped off with an air of annoyance and a scowl on her face.

Sirius's antics usually got him hexed by the Head Girl, but there were times, like these, when she liked to humor him and play along. Remus was slightly curious when Padfoot actually pulled Lily out, but he let it slide and he returned to his eggs and toast. He was also a bit confused at why Sirius always called her Sunshine…what was up with that?

His mind then wandered from the sunshine that was royally announcing the upcoming spring to the essay on vertiserum that he had to complete for Slughorn. He then wondered if James's hair was still slightly sparkly from the charm Peter accidently cast on it the night before while he was trying to produce a patronus.

Remus looked over to see Prongs moving his oatmeal around with a spoon and staring longingly out the Great Hall doors. He watched as James stood and strode out with purpose enough to match that of Lily when she needed to go to the library.

Soon, breakfast was over and James still hadn't returned. Remus walked up to the common room to study a bit and wait until he got back. Sirius and Lily were nowhere to be seen either…that was a little strange, but it was pushed to the back of his mind just like everything else about them.

After five dull minutes filled with goblin revolutions and rebellions, James burst into the common room looking like Dumbledore told him his flying was pathetic. Peter, Alice, and Marlene were close by, also studying; they too looked up at the sound of James's epic entering.

"You okay Prongs?" Peter asked hesitantly.

"NO I'M NOT OKAY!" he yelled. All present were shocked for James rarely let his anger get the best of him. James must have realized this too because he sunk down in one of the chairs and stuck his face in his hands, making his hair stick up even more then it had before.

"Would you mind telling us what the problem is?" Alice asked sweetly, her voice practically dripping with honey.

"Black…_he's_ the problem." James growled. Alice came and sat by his feet, she was always good at untangling messes so the others just let her steer the conversation.

"What did he do?" she asked almost too innocently.

"He's outside cuddling with Lily! He _knows_ I lo-like her," James said furiously. He had stumbled with the l-o-v-e word so he had switched to an easier one to say. "I've only tried to help Lily and now Sirius is sucking up to her just because she's the only girl who hasn't snogged him yet. He thinks that because she is so helpless that he can just move in on her and get what he wants." He growled viciously.

Everyone was speechless. That didn't sound like something Sirius would do…not at all. Sure there were_ rumors_ that he was some snotty playboy, but they knew that wasn't true. He was their friend after all. He was incredibly loyal (his animagus _was_ a dog) and he wasn't the kind of person to change their personality in a few seconds. Remus was the first one to say something.

"Don't you think you might be jumping to conclusions James?" he asked trying to keep a clear mind and look at each aspect of the accusation. He kept his voice light as to not offend James.

"Oh, that's hard to say when he ran off holding her hand any they are now sitting under a tree like a couple of love birds. Haven't you noticed they have been acting overly nice to each other lately? Its not like they're really friends." He scoffed.

Remus thought this over. Last year Sirius and Lily couldn't speak two sentences without yelling…they were almost as bad as Lily and James. Now…once he thought about it…they had been pretty decent to each other. Sirius _was_ the one who ran to Lily first at the funeral. Maybe he _did_ fancy her. But was there a chance that Lily fancied him back? Remus was having a hard time separating all those sarcastic proclamations of love for Sirius for ones that could have had a sliver of truth behind them.

He had been almost positive that Lily was starting to like James though. The rest of the group seemed to be having similar thoughts for they all had variations of a thinking face on. If he had been an innocent bystander it would have been an amusing sight to see.

"Well James…maybe you're right…it kind of makes sense." Marlene said slowly thinking out each word. She was still slightly confused, but she started seeing things from James's point of view.

In a few minutes they were all mad at Sirius (for some reason no one was blaming this on Lily)…everyone except Remus. He decided to remain neutral, much like Switzerland, until things were actually clear. The silence was thick with anger and a bit of awkwardness.

Eventually Alice stood up.

"Lunch time" she said quietly looking at the floor. She walked off and soon everyone else followed closely behind her.

##########

Sirius and Lily entered the Great Hall a few moments after they all sat down. Their cheeks were tinted pink and it was obvious they had been outside.

Remus noticed Lily was trying desperately hard to make things normal…he suspected she had no idea why her friends were acting this way. When she turned to speak with Sirius, he looked for any signs that they liked each other like James had accused. They were at ease speaking together and their conversation comfortably jumped all over. Maybe there was something there.

Every now and again Lily would nervously look around to find all her friends staring at her…it became too much soon so she left, leaving James behind with Sirius. Remus watched as James pulled Sirius out. He just hoped they worked everything out all right. James could be a little…extreme.

After lunch the remaining Gryffindor seventh years went back to the common room. Soon, Sirius walked in with a bruise that made you hurt looking at it. He looked confused and very sorry.

James's evidence was too convincing though and Remus found himself asking his friend to leave. Sirius was devastated but left anyway. Now Remus had no idea what to think. He just had to let things happen until a compromise was made.

##########

After Sirius and Lily had their second private talk that day, she declared that they should go do something fun to get their spirits up. Sirius was still in pieces and Lily wanted to help.

Her first suggestion was a prank. Sirius had just laughed, who ever heard Lily Evans offering to pull a prank? It was enough to make any one grin. He almost wished he had somehow recorded it.

"Would you mind repeating that?" he asked cheekily. Lily grinned, her eyes sparkling, and said it again.

"Ok…do… you… want …to go… play a… prank… with… me?" she said slowly. Sirius was sent into another fit of laughter. Lily crossed her arms in a huff. She didn't really get what was so funny.

"Fine…how about this. I'll ask you a question and then you can ask me one. We just keep going until we are as close of friends as me and Marlene are!" She said the last part sarcastically and it made Sirius smile.

"Ok, you first." He said gesturing to Lily.

"What is your favorite cookie?"

"Snicker doodle for sure. Remus's mum makes snicker doodle to die for! " He said trying to keep a "manly" tone. It didn't work.

"Ok Snicker doodle, your turn" Lily said. Apparently he had gotten himself a new nickname. Sirius thought how James would think that was hilarious, but then he remembered that his best friend currently hated him. He shook the feeling of despair off and asked his question.

"What was the first time you ever used accidental magic?"

"I was three and I made my hair braid itself because I couldn't figure out how to do it. My mom was doing the dishes and thought Tuney and I were joking when we said my hair wound itself in a braid like magic!" She said smiling at the memory. Petunia had been astounded and insisted that Lily did the same to her hair. "If you were an animagus, what would you be?"

"A dog" Sirius said without any thought or hesitation. For some reason he found that hilarious. "Do your really keep track of how many times James has asked you out?"

"Ummm…yeah. It's all in a notebook in my dorm." She said blushing. Sirius barked a laugh. He was obviously in better spirits.

"Ok, one more…if you had one wish what would it be?" Lily asked looking a little more serious.

"I would wish that we could just start this school year over knowing what might happen and knowing how to fix it." He said wistfully. Lily nodded her head in agreement.

This year had been the craziest in her life. It was thrilling and adrenaline filled, depressing with a fair number of tears, maddening to the point where she wished to rip her hair out, and over all insane. She was broken. Never in her life had she cried in front of her two worst enemies, never had she dueled death eaters in Hogsmeade, and never had she felt so many emotions in only three months. Christmas break was fast approaching, only a week away, and she could only hope that the New Year would bring better tidings.

They sat there in silence for a long time, contemplating Sirius's answer. Lily then stood and brushed herself off.

"Come on Snicker doodle…we both have a three foot stack of homework waiting for us." She giggled at the use of his newfound nickname. He stood up too and they walked towards the Gryffindor common room arm in arm.

One of there conversations on the way up was about their favorite seasons. Lily was leaning towards spring because it made everything grow and become alive after the ever so dreary winters. Sirius chose summer, just because of the lack of homework and uptight teachers. Their walk was filled with exaggerated hand gestures and arguments over the silliest things Lily had ever heard of.

Just before they got to the common room, Sirius made a particularly ridiculous comment about how, "McGonagall probably hates summer because of the lack of Marauders." Lily found herself laughing so hard she could barley stay standing. At the sight of her in this state, he asked,

"What's so funny?" trying to keep a straight face.

"Yeah, she misses you just as much as she misses Dumbledore asking her if she would like lemon drops." She responded. This sentence made Sirius crack and he found himself laughing along beside her.

A few weeks ago at dinner, Professor McGonagall stood up and screeched an overwhelmingly hilarious statement at Dumbledore in the middle of dessert.

"NO ALBUS! I DO NOT, AND WILL NEVER, WANT A LEMON DROP! STOP ASKING!" she then turned his beard blue, strode out of the hall quickly, and left the headmaster speechless.

It was normal to be walking down the hall and be stopped by Professor Dumbledore. He would ask you how your day was going and then he would offer those small muggle candies he was so fond of. The whole school had joked about the incident for weeks after. Some (the Marauders) even dared to offer her one themselves. It ended in a weeks' work of detention.

The two walked through the portrait hole gasping for air in between their laughs. They were greeted by dead silence. All present were currently staring at them as if they were unidentified organisms. That of course shut them up immediately and Lily scurried over to her friends. What made her stop mid-journey was that Sirius wasn't following her. He was just standing awkwardly by the entrance rubbing the back of his neck.

While the rest of the room had gone back to its usual chatter after a few moments, Lily's present friends (Marlene and Remus) watched with interest.

Lily turned back to Sirius and they had one of the most amazing silent conversations in history. Lily's side of the conversation was aggressive and assertive while Sirius's was pleading and begging. Instead of having to watch Sirius attempt to make puppy dog eyes at her, she grabbed his hand and tried pulling him over.

The only problem was that Sirius was almost a full six inches taller then Lily and he weighed quite a bit more. She pulled and tugged and heaved and he wouldn't budge a centimeter. Remus and Marlene had to try hard not to laugh at the sight. Soon Sirius got tired of all the pulling so he took a step forward and Lily, not expecting the change, fell to the ground. This time she succeeded in pulling Sirius with her and he landed painfully on top of her leg.

This time Marlene couldn't help but let out a tiny giggle that met Lily's ears…it gave her hope. Hope was something they needed in these overwhelming times. It gave people perspective and a reason to continue pressing forward.

Lily turned towards Sirius and grinned, she knew he heard Marlene too. He smiled back and they both stood up and walked to the plush chairs by the fire that Marlene and Remus were occupying. On the way over Lily conjured the charms books they were supposed to read from. They came flying from both of their rooms (Lily's took longer because her room was down the hall) and landed in their hands. The two sat next to their friends and opened their books without a word.

Marlene got up and left. She looked conflicted. Remus on the other hand stayed and continued with his essay without muttering even a simple greeting, in other words, he was ignoring them.

Sirius made little comments about the reading here and there. He asked questions that Lily was able to answer with ease. They worked well as a team and Remus noticed this. Lily had more of the precise academic strengths while Sirius had a more real life perspective on things. They balanced each other just right. He was secretly watching out of the side of his golden eyes and trying to gather as much evidence as possible.

He also noticed that every few minutes Sirius would look over to what page Lily was on and then speed up to get ahead of her. Lily was actually doing the same. She would look over to see Sirius on the page ahead of her so she would speed-read to get a page ahead of him. Soon it became a full-fledged race and they weren't' even reading. They were just trying to see who could flip the pages fastest. They were flying through those pages quicker then Remus ever thought was possible.

Once she got to the end of the book, Lily threw it to the floor and screamed,

"FINISISHED! IN YOUR FACE SNICKER DOODLE!"

Remus snickered at the strange nickname. He then found himself craving his mum's delicious snicker doodles; they really were to die for. He quickly looked back to his essay when Sirius nonchalantly glanced over.

Sirius had been two pages behind Lily for almost the whole competition and he was quiet peeved now.

"Not fair!" he said, "How can I beat someone who spends their WHOLE LIFE reading at a page turning contest!"

"That's the thing…YOU CAN'T! IN YOUR FACE!" she once again yelled.

"I DECLARE A REMATCH!" Sirius screeched.

He then turned to his book, went to the beginning and started to flip through the pages again. Remus thought it was funny that they had established they were in a page turning contest without talking. In some ways it made him want to laugh and in others it almost made him see James's side of the story.

He turned back to Lily and Sirius and saw Lily doing a victory dance around the room. Apparently she was victorious a second time. Sirius had his arms crossed and an amused look on his face. His silver eyes were sparkling. Remus hadn't seen them do that since the fifth year. And Lily, Remus say more joy in her then he had in a long time too. She was even a bit happier then he had seen her in the past years. She seemed more carefree and less worry strained then ever. It was decided, Sirius was in love with Lily.

He slammed his book shut and stomped up to his room. Stupid love.

"Looks like we lost a believer." Sirius said sighing and falling back into his chair at the sight of Remus leaving.

Lily stopped her little dance and squished into the seat beside him. She gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. He started to rise and walk in the direction of his dorm, but Lily held him back. Plus, they were a bit too wedged in that chair to move very much, so Sirius wouldn't have been able to stand anyway because Lily was almost on his lap.

"No Sirius…they need to learn to trust us. We shouldn't have to tell them whether or not you betrayed your best friend. They should already know the answer." She whispered. Her eyes were full of sadness, yet they glinted dangerously as if to challenge the others.

And she was right. The Marauders were supposed to trust one another…it _was_ Marauder rule number 8. They would have to figure this one out for themselves.

########## 

** My dear readers…I am such a pushover. I know I threatened to hold my chapter hostage, but it has been too much for me to handle. I just had to post this today. It had been a week! I really couldn't wait much longer. Have I gotten my 35 reviews? No I haven't, but I want to thank those of you who have reviewed. It made me incredibly happy. Who knows, maybe I will hit that mark this week. Expect the next chapter next Saturday! Thanks.**

**-Sweets5236**


	15. Apology 1 and Apology 2

**Edited: March 19, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

##########

Dinner that night was awful. Lily and Sirius chose to sit by themselves away from the other Gryffindor seventh years and James didn't even show up. Who knew were he was. He would probably reappear sometime the next morning once he was a bit cooled off.

Remus tried to keep the small talk between the four (Marlene, Alice, Peter, and him) up in order to avoid awkwardness. It seemed to make things worse though. Alice closed up and spoke with only one-syllable words, Peter was stuttering, and Marlene was fuming. She could really be a hot head when she wanted to.

He gave up just as Lily had that afternoon at lunch. They ate in silence until something unexpected happened. Alice spoke her mind.

"You guys, we need to snap out of this! What were we thinking! Sirius and Lily are our best friends! We need to trust them! Without trust, where would we be? We would be split apart ALL the time just like we are now! How come no one suspected this ridiculous notion last week? They were acting the same then as they are now!" her voice was raised and all were in shock.

Alice Prewett was the quiet, soft-spoken girl with the golden curls and round cheeks. This just wasn't something Alice did. Sure she would join in a conversation, but she never really pushed her points very far. Remus barley knew anything about her because she was usually so quiet. Now that he thought about, he realized it was strange that he and Peter were sitting with Alice and Marley.

They _were_ their friends now. They were best friends actually. They all were helping Lily through everything and it brought them closer together. They were rivals a few months ago though! There lives had ALL flipped upside down with the death of Lily's parents.

Remus thought of what Alice had been trying to say but before he could get far, Marlene spoke up.

"Alice! How can you say that! Of course they were acting the same last week! Who knows how long this has been going on! Sirius…and even Lily betrayed us! They stabbed James in the back! They lied to us! How can you NOT think they don't like each other! LOOK AT THEM!" she screeched.

She pointed to the end of the table. They all saw Sirius chuck a piece of celery at Lily after something she said. They were laughing and Lily looked happier then she had been in a long time.

"Yeah but so what! JAMES DOSEN'T OWN LILY! Sirius can love her if he wants and Lily can love him back! So what if that's the case! JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE SIRISU DOSEN'T MEAN NO ONE ELSE CAN!

Besides! I DON'T think they like each other! We ALL know they both have family problems and that Lily has been faking her happiness for the last week! Yet we all chose to ignore her and act like everything was just dandy! SIRIUS…SIRUS BLACK…the boy who she despised almost as much as she despised James, was the one to help her! NOT US MARLEY! NOT HER BEST FRIENDS! NOW…. NOW WE ARE ABONDONING THEM! HAVE YOU EVER STOPPED TO THINK THAT THIS IS OUR FAULT?" she screamed out the last part and the whole hall was listening and whispering together in hushed voices.

Professor McGonagall was down at her side in a few seconds while Professor Dumbledore was telling everyone to go back to their eating. McGonagall told Alice to leave the hall and join her in detention the next night. She gave her best reprimanding glare at the others and walked back up to her table.

Alice walked out and they all saw a single tear streak down her face. She had just earned her first detention for standing up for her friend. They all knew that the detention wasn't why she was crying though.

Remus looked down the table to see Lily looking at him. Her eyes were pooled with water and Sirius was trying to tug her out. She frowned at Remus and stood to leave. What had they done? He stood up and jogged out of the hall after the two

##########

Lily felt like she had been socked in the stomach…multiple times. Sirius was pulling her through the castle to who knows where and she was letting him. She wouldn't be able to move without it. She knew he was just trying to get her away from the Great Hall. Her friends had been fighting and yelling at each other because of them. Why was everything so complicated? Why couldn't Sirius and her be friends without everyone jumping to conclusions?

Sirius continued to pull her and she was fine with it. She trusted him, unlike her friends. Why couldn't they trust him too?

Lily's head swiveled around at the sound of someone running towards them. She stopped in her tracks and gaped. It was Remus. Why would he be following them. She tapped Sirius on the shoulder. He turned and dropped her hand.

Remus caught up to them and bent over. His breathing with labored like he had been running after them the whole time. They gave him a second to cool off and then he stood up straight and gave a weak smile.

"I'm sorry." Were the first words that tumbled out of his mouth, "I should have trusted you! I understand that Lily, you are having hard time and I'm sorry I didn't help you! I'm sorry Sirius that I thought wrongly of you, and I'm glad you had enough sense to see past the shield Lily was putting up. I'm really sorry, guys." His eyes were pleading and sincere.

Lily was hesitant to accept the apology at first. Why should she? Remus couldn't just trust them. Who was he to just waltz up and expect everything would be fine? But then she saw that look in his eyes. Perhaps he was sorry. Another glance told her the answer.

Lily smiled and pulled him into a hug. He smelt of chocolate and body wash. It was calming and was nothing like Sirius's motor oil and peppermint. Sirius's scent was one that made you smile. Motor oil and peppermint weren't things that went together, but he made it work.

Remus pulled away from her and awkwardly patted Sirius on the back.

"Lily," he said, "I know I can't apologize for James, but he just isn't thinking straight right now. He really loves you Lily, he can't help but think these things when he is so stressed. He's only wanted to help you and Sirius figured out how before he could."

She frowned a bit at that. If James loved her, he would be figuring out what was going on, not spreading evil rumors just because he was upset. He didn't make a bit of sense in his actions.

"He'll come through eventually Sunshine," said Sirius ruffling up her hair like a child. That lightened up the conversation considerably so she laughed and flattened it back down.

"We forgive you Remus. And I understand, we just need to let James think things through. Who wants to go and finish the reading assignment Sirius and I never really did?"

Sirius started jumping up and down while waving his arm wildly in the air. "I DO, I DO!" he shouted. They all laughed and walked back to the common room, finally as friends.

##########

James decide he was going to camp out in the kitchens all weekend. It was perfect! He got food and the house elves would bring him pillows and blankets to sleep on. He wouldn't have to face his friends and if they showed up he could still glare at them like he wanted to.

He was no longer fuming. He was just heavily annoyed. He actually felt incredibly guilty for punching Sirius. What were the chances that Sirius fancied Lily? Hadn't his friend made it clear that he fancied Marlene? That was what was most confusing. It was mixed up enough to give anyone a headache after thinking about it for too long. Now he was just annoyed that he couldn't help Lily and show her that he had changed. His pride was the only thing keeping him from apologizing for over reacting.

It would take longer then a few hours for him to come to a final decision over what he was going to do though. James decided to sleep on it and see what he would come up with in the morning.

##########

After Sirius and Lily finished their reading, Lily suggested that the two boys retreat to their rooms to catch up. They were rather reluctant to leave her side just incase James came and did something rash.

Once Lily lectured them on how she could handle herself just fine without their help, they gave in after quite a bit of arguing and left her by the Gryffindor fireplace with several 'goodnight's and 'are you sure?'s.

What Lily really wanted was to have some time to think. She walked back to her common room and looked up the stairs to James's room. His door was open and he was nowhere to be seen. He must be sleeping somewhere else. That or he was going to come back after curfew was over when Lily was sure to be in bed. But that was perfectly fine because an angry James wasn't something she needed at the moment.  
>She sat in her favorite chair by her own fire and braided a few tiny strands of her hair. She was going to have to ask Professor Flitwick for a charm she could use to get out the many little braids. It was a habit she was going to need to kick.<p>

Lily jumped slightly at the sound of the portrait to the Head's common room opening. She turned and saw Alice walk in and sit on the arm of her seat. It looked like she had been crying. Lily really hated tears at this point so something boiled inside of her at the sight of the little tracks on her friend's face.

"Hello Ali" Lily whispered. Alice offered a small smile and then pulled Lily into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry Lils! You've been through so much and I left you just because of some silly thought that was planted in my head! You are so strong! So much stronger then I'll ever be and now I feel awful! I'm sorry."

"No, Alice, you don't have to be sorry, it's okay. I heard what you said at dinner. Thank you. You stood up for us when no one else would and it was very Gryffindor of you. I…I let my pride get the best of me. I should have just told you straight out that Sirius is like the brother I never had instead of sulking about it."

"Are we okay now?" Alice asked in a small voice. Lily nodded. Her heart felt lighter and her hope returned.

##########

The days before Christmas break slowly ticked down. Five days became four and then four became three. The snow was still thick on Hogwart's grounds and Alice, Lily, Remus, and Sirius found them involved in to many snowball fights to count. More often then not their noses were tinted red at the tips and their hair was slightly ruffled from the blowing wind.

When they weren't outside they were studying for the mid-year exams. Something like an exam seemed so silly after what had happened that year. Nonetheless, a whole lot of studying and late night kitchen snacks occurred everyday.

Lily enjoyed walking through the halls with Sirius after curfew to pick up a chocolate cake or ice cream for them all to have back in the common room. It was strangely exhilarating. Who knew breaking the rules could be fun!

Marlene was giving the group of four the cold shoulder and James, who had returned to eating in the Great Hall and sleeping in the Head's dorms, walked around without a word. He went to classes and then retreated to his room right after. He would then come out for meals and then go right back in. Peter wasn't actually seen too often and the Marauders (separately of course) found themselves wondering were the small boy had been.

Two days before Christmas break, James decided that enough was enough. He needed to know what was happening and he desperately missed his friends. He was James Potter! The boy who made friends with only a grin and lame joke! If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was being lonely. Marlene would give him a quick smile every now and again, but other then that, he was alone. Seeing Sirius and Remus having fun with Alice and Lily made him want to run over and fix everything. Now he was finally going to do it.

##########

**SURPRISE! I decided to post another chapter today! Woohoo! This better get me reviews haha. Oh and I apologize for grammar mistakes. Those will ALL be fixed when the story is done!**


	16. Snowmen and Snape

**Edited: July 17, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**##########**

"Sirius, can I speak with you for a second?" James asked his ex-best friend out to the side of Hagrid's hut.

He noticed Lily stood up beside him in a protective stance, her eyes flashing dangerously. Little snowflakes covered her fiery hair and her cheeks and nose were rosy. James couldn't help but think that she looked adorable. Usually the guy was going for the girl and the girl's guy friend would stand up, not the other way around. He had to admire Lily's bravery. It was times like these that her understood why she was in Gryffindor.

Remus, Alice, Sirius, and Lily had been enjoying the cool winter air by building a rather impressive snowman. It was at least 7 feet tall and had a mouth made from a thin piece of spaghetti and the nose of a chocolate éclair that Sirius had nicked from the kitchens. Its eyes were two round, green mints and it wore a scarf of red and gold. House pride, Hogwarts couldn't stand without it.

Sirius had also insisted on making a snow dog so that the snowman wouldn't get lonely. A dog _is_ a man's best friend. It was now sitting beside the man made of snow looking proud and loyal…even if its nose was lopsided and it was missing a foot (Sirius was too lazy to create all four legs). It would make anyone love the innocence of youth.

They had been lying down in the hard snow when James walked over wanting Sirius. This actually scared Lily, creating a jolt of adrenaline to run through her. She didn't want her friend to get another ugly bruise that she had to heal again. She decided that whatever James wanted to say, he could say it in front of her too. She let him know this and he walked off towards the Forbidden Forest wanting them to follow him.

Lily was terrified of this forest, but Sirius acted as if he had been in it a million times before, and he probably had. The shadows seemed to bend and twist with sinister intentions that sent her heart into an icy chill. She clutched onto Sirius's upper arm just in case those giant spiders that were rumored to live in the out-of-bounds forest came at her.

She heard Sirius snicker at her attempt to cover her fright, but no matter, if she were to go down, she would take him down with her. They only walked in far enough so that you could no longer see any students, but Lily was scared witless nonetheless.

She saw James's eyes flicker to her hands that were holding onto Sirius as if her life depended on it, and in her mind it did. Her grip remained steady; his gaze didn't frighten her. It was more his words actually. Those were the most dangerous of his weapons. He frowned a bit and his eyes darkened, but she thought nothing of it. They stood there in silence for what seemed like an eternity, both sides daring the other to speak first.

"Areyouguysdating?" James suddenly asked in a rush faster then a firework going off.

"What?" said Lily, genuinely confused. Was that strangled mess of words supposed to be some kind of apology?

"Are you guys dating?" he said a bit slower. This made Sirius frown. His eyebrows furrowed slightly and Lily felt him tense.

"Well what do you think?" he asked seething, "You seemed pretty sure of yourself when you socked me in the face." James looked to the ground at that comment and Lily took pity on him. Sirius wasn't the only one who lost one of his best friends.

"No James, your _best friend_ didn't stab you in the back and run after me." Lily said coldly, her eyes were daring him to retort.

"Look, I-I'm sorry. I was just so confused and I didn't know what to think. How could I! I was jealous and cruel and jumping to conclusions. I STILL don't know what is going on! I was just mad that you could help Lily and I couldn't."he whispered the last part and kept his head looking at the ground.

Lily looked up at Sirius and he shrugged his shoulders, but he was frowning still. James's apology sounded sincere enough. The pleading expression he was now giving them reminded Lily of a puppy who was lost and far from home.

She pinched Sirius's arm and he had to bite his tongue to keep himself from letting out a little yelp of pain. She glared at him and he stared back moving his head slightly in one direction. She tilted her head down a bit in response.

They had gotten scarily good at communicating silently. Remus told them that they would need to write a book of signals before he would be able to understand what they were saying to each other. It was the best way to speak without causing any "difficulties" as Sirius had put it. Lily nudged him again and he looked down at her annoyed. He finally nodded.

"James?" Lily said stepping forward, her hand moved to Sirius's hand rather then his arm. No way was she letting go until they left that cursed forest.

"No, Sirius and I aren't dating and you _were_ helping me! You were always there trying to act happy for me. It's just that, I need to conquer one problem at a time. You and Sirius were both trying to help me defeat different problems and the one Sirius was handling was just easier. I have Sirius' back now and he has mine,"

James then realized that Lily's life was far more complicated then he had known. Her trials had been numerous and she had to over come each and every one of them. It was like trying to climb a wall two times your size with no footholds. It was impossible unless there was someone there to help push you up. Sirius had been the one to push her over one wall and he had helped her over another. Maybe now she would be okay.

"I'm sor-" he started once again, but Sirius interrupted.

"We know, you're sorry, but we forgive you." He said, almost hesitantly.

You could tell he was still a bit peeved at the boy. He stepped up to James and attempted to give him a manly hug, but that was rather hard when Lily's grip was iron. He looked down to see his hand was almost purple. He pulled her to his other side and switched hands, shaking out his other.

James saw this and grinned timidly. They stood there in a semi-comfortable, semi-awkward silence for a few moments. Lily seemed to be scooting closer and closer to Sirius at every sound of a stick breaking somewhere behind them.

"Something bothering you, Lils?" James joked. A hint of his trademarked smirk seemed to linger.

"Oh nothing… just this forest that's going to swallow me up, chew me, and spit me back out again without an ounce of mercy." She said glancing over her shoulder with a nervous laugh as if looking for the monster that would partially digest her.

"Well, no need to fear Petal, for your knights in shining armor are here!" he yelled rather loudly. Sirius smiled, a bit more at ease, as they started to retreat out of the spooky woods.

"Yeah, Sunshine. You have TWO knights in shiny armor, how lucky are you?" Sirius said bumping her shoulder.

"Oh I'm sure I'm very unlucky in reality for I can't help but feel like my knights are going to set a pile of dungbombs off at my feet any second now." She said rolling her eyes.

They arrived to their snowman (and dog) to see Remus and Alice constructing a second snow creation. This one was a tall thin snowman that had spectacles sitting on the edge of his nose, an all-knowing smile, and an incredibly long blue beard. He also appeared to have a bowl of candies in his hand.

James, Sirius, and Lily let out long peals of laughter and were met by the smiles of their other friends who seemed to understand what had changed. Sighs of relief traveled through the two of them. It was never fun being stuck in the middle of a raging war.

Things were now the way they should be, if not a bit strained. Sirius and James were trying to push each other into the snow, Remus and Lily debated on the best potion to relieve one of a headache, and Alice was staring longingly at Frank Longbottom who was sitting a few steps away buried in a book.

##########

"Sunshine, rain or sun?"

"Sun." Lily said without a second thought.

"That's good, it _is_ your nickname. But I agree, sunshine equals summer and summer equals…"

"Lack of homework and uptight teachers…oh and lemon drops" she replied nonchalantly to the many snickers of their friends.

James was surprised at how well Lily and Sirius knew each other after such a short amount of time. It was no surprise if they constantly asked questions like that though. Their little question game had gone on for more than half an hour while they all warmed up by the fire, ridding themselves of the icy chill that seemed to settle over the hallways.

"You know me well Sunshine…maybe a little too well" he said staring at her funny.

"Haha, very funny Black. It's my turn anyway. Dinner or breakfast?"

"Breakfast, I love my bacon!" he shouted. Remus just shook his head and threw the pieces of his smashed up rook from his chess game at him.

"Chocolate or vanilla?" Sirius asked, dangling upside down off the back of his chair.

"I prefer strawberry actually" Lily replied while still keeping her eyes on her book.

"Oh, chocolate for me. Red or gold?"

"Gold, red reminds me too much of my hair." She said twirling a thin strand around her finger.

"Oh come on Sunshine, I like your hair. James does too…he can never seen to shut up about it. It's always Lily's hair _this_, Lily's hair _that_, Oh Lily's hair reminds me of the sunset." Sirius said trying to imitate James while laughing. James chucked a pillow at him and turned to Lily.

"Whatcha reading?" he asked from his seat across from her in the Head's common room. Lily giggled at the small blush that had settled over his face.

She took a look around the room before answering him. Remus was playing chess with Marlene on the floor who was leaning against Lily's legs and Sirius and James were enjoying the glow of the fire. Alice was playing with her hair and tying it in all sorts of intricate knots for the fun of it, Lily assumed. She was watching Remus and Marley's game with little interest. Peter had told them he was going to go for a study session with one of the Ravenclaws so he wasn't present.

A warm feeling rushed inside of her before settling in her stomach, making Lily feel happy almost instantly. If only every day could be like that one, perfectly fun without a care in the world. Lily looked back to James and found him staring at her with a small grin on his face, almost in a daze.

"Cinderella." She replied. A ghost of a smile flickered on her lips.

"Gesundheit" Sirius said lazily before falling off his chair backwards with a 'thump'.

Lily laughed and turned back to her favorite muggle fairy tale, marveling at how childlike her friends could be. She was now at her favorite part, the part where good conquered evil. Cinderella was trying on the famed glass slipper brought to her by her true love.

This made Lily remember something important. Her head snapped up and her leg jerked, causing Marlene to knock over half the pieces on the chessboard.

"Snicker doodle! We forgot about the Amortentia!" she shrieked in Sirius's direction.

James snickered, that nickname was definitely new. Sirius jumped up and ran in the general direction of the room's exit, knowing he'd face Lily's wrath if he didn't. Lily grabbed her jacket (the dungeons would be cold) and slipped it on. She turned to her startled friends and gave a quick explanation.

"Last week Slughorn told me he wanted Snape and I to whip up a few potions for his sixth years. Since I can no longer stand to be around Severus, we split the potion list in half and Sirius agreed to help me with it, probably just because he wants to sneak some of it.

Slughorn needs them by tomorrow and I have all done but the Amortentia, which should be finished simmering by now. It will likely explode if we wait another minute!" she shrieked before running out the room.

The rest of them laughed at how frantic she was. James couldn't help but notice how cute her rambling was. There was no way it would explode, but Lily in a flustered state tended to exaggerate…a lot.

#########

Lily caught up with Sirius a few steps from the musty old classroom they had been using to brew the many potions. He yanked open the door and Lily could swear she saw dust fly. The room was cobweb coated and more humid then the Sahara Desert, but it worked.

The only remaining cauldron in the room was the one that was now contained a thin potion with a mother-of-pearl sheen. Little spirals were circling out and the only thing left to do was give it a few stirs. Lily whisked through the potion several times while Sirius wrote down its characteristics. Slughorn thought that it would benefit them if they wrote down all they say after each step of the potion. He ended up requiring it since he realized Sirius would do no such thing willingly.

"Finished." Lily said after several minutes, luckily the love potion hadn't exploded.

"What do you smell?" Sirius asked in a small voice, almost afraid to question.

Amortentia. The most powerful love potion in the world. While it didn't create actual love, its drinker gained an intense infatuation for the intended person. The mere scent of it showed one's desires. The things they loved most in the world.

"I smell the fire in the Gryffindor common room, the snicker doodle's Remus's mum makes, and the fabric softener mum uses on my sheets." He said wistfully.

"I thought you lived with the Potters?" Lily asked. Sirius nodded and grinned sheepishly.

"That's who I meant Lils...Mrs. Potter." His voice quavered, "I don't have another,"

Lily then surprised both of them by pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. She thought it was sweet that what Sirius loved most of all was home. She thought it was soul crushing that he didn't have his own though. Hogwarts and the Potter's were his home now, and Lily would bet James' prized owl that Sirius wished the snicker doodles made by Mrs. Lupin were made by his real mum. Walburga Black was incapable of such things though. In her mind she had one son and it wasn't Sirius.

Lily shuddered at the cruelty of Sirius's family. She pulled back and looked into his eyes, almost pleadingly.

"Talk to me," she whispered. He smiled sadly.

"I'm fine, Sunshine, truly. Now tell me what you smell,"

"I smell…the scent that comes to you went you open a book for the first time." She said breathing it in with her eyes closed, "and I smell the little pocket mints my dad used to carry around, and my mum's garden." She smiled, her eyes still closed. "There's something else too…" she paused, "It almost reminds me of hot cocoa and cinnamon…" she opened her eyes.

Sirius could tell she was thoroughly puzzled. The smell was very different from the Honeyduke's chocolate Remus smelled of, but it was very familiar. It most definitely was the scent of a person.

She shrugged and poured the potion into several vials while the gears in Sirius's head turned. The description of Lily's last scent struck something in him and it made him grin like a mad man. He had figured out who was in Lily's Amortentia.

She would just have to figure it out for herself though. He grinned once more and hid his excitement behind what he hoped was a nonchalant expression. He decided he needed to get out of the room before he blew anything for all he wished to do was shout it out at the world.

"Sunshine, is it okay if I go back to the Gryffindor common room to work on that last essay I have?" he asked remembering the three foot long report on Animagi he had to do.

He could easily zip through it, but it needed to be done now and it was a rather decent excuse because he was about to spill the secret. He at least needed to let off some steam by taking muggle silly-string to the entrance to the Great Hall. He looked back to Lily and she nodded, still deep in thought.

Sirius jumped up as soon as the signal was given and dashed out the room, exploding into held in laughter as soon as she was out of hearing range. If only he could tell James.

##########

What was that other smell? Lily had thought as Sirius left. She shook her head and left the room. The air in the hall was light and fresh and it made her happy that she never had to enter the old classroom again thanks to their potions being done.

She walked with an obvious spring in her step towards Professor Slughorn's classroom. A feeling of dread washed over her for a moment. It was the feeling that something was about to happen she would rather avoid. At this point in her seventh year, she was as familiar with that feeling as she was with Sirius's obsessions with snicker doodles.

Before she could open the door to Slughorn's classroom, a cold, shaky hand pulled her around a dark corner confirming her previous feeling of fear. She tried to stifle a scream and lit her wand before she did something rash.

Her green eyes met the shallow face of Severus Snape. She grimaced and harshly yanked her arm from his grip. Holding Severus's hand didn't make her feel safe like Sirius' or loved like James', it made her stomach churn and twist and it made her whole body prickle unpleasantly.

"What do you want Snape?" She spat. His eye twitched and a whole new emotion washed over his face.

"WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?" He yelled suddenly. Lily blinked in surprise; this wasn't what she had been expecting. "YOU TOLD ME YOU HATED HIM! THAT YOU WOULD RATHER PITCH YOURSELF OFF THE ASTRNOMY TOWER RATHER THEN HAVE TO WASTE A SECOND OF YOUR TIME WITH HIM!"

Snape was usually a very cold, icy person. He never had bursts of anger like this and it scared Lily half to death. She then realized she was probably standing in the presence of a death eater, whether he had been her friend of not and her fear increased.

"YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM AND BLACK!" he continued. Pure anger and hated for James Potter pulsed throughout Snape's body and oozed through his pores.

"And why should I do that? Why should I care what YOU of all people have to say?" she hissed.

All the pent up anger she had been holding in for the past months was about to explode like lava gushing out of a volcano. She had been able to get rid of sadness and despair, but not anger…not yet. She felt like if she took her anger out on Snape it would all disappear. It would be better then taking it out on her friends too.

"He isn't good for you and you are going to get hurt." He said in the same tone that Lily had used, taking a step closer to her.

"HE isn't good for me? Then who is? YOU?" she screeched.

The air around her crackled with electricity and many strands of her hair were sticking up due to the magical energy she was giving off. She continued before he could respond,

"You lost my friendship a long time ago _Snape_. You lost it when you called me a Mudblood and my respect for you continued to drop all through sixth year. I KNOW you joined _him_. I KNOW that your friends have too and I DOUBT you really care for me."

Her voice dripped with venom and sounded lethal. Her eyes seemed to burn a hole into his soul and if looks could kill, Snape would have been dead minutes ago. She noticed how he hadn't denied _one_ of her accusations.

"Are you daft! OF COURSE I CARE ABOUT YOU!" he said raising his voice once more. She took the bait and finally burst.

" IF YOU CARED WHY DIDN'T YOU HELP ME? YOU WEREN'T THERE FOR ME SNAPE! JAMES, AND SIRIUS, AND REMUS WERE. WHILE YOU WERE OFF TOURMENTING MUDBLOODS LIKE ME IN THE HALLWAYS, MY PARENTS DIED AND I GOT TORTURED IN HOGSMEADE!" at that moment a small bolt of lightning formed out of the air and flashed against Severus, causing him to fly down the hallway and land with a sickening crunch.

A hand instantly shot to her mouth, hiding her gasp. She hesitantly walked over to the boy that was once her friend. No mark showed, but he was sure to be bruised in the morning. His breathing was steady, as ever too, it appeared as if he was just unconscious.

Lily sighed in relief muttering words of thanks under her breathe. Thanks that she hadn't cause any real damage. She may not like Snape, but she wasn't heartless. That didn't make her want to drag him to the Hospital wing though. He'd be best off left there, he could consider it as payback for all the awful things he'd be sure to do in the future as a death eater.

A strong urge to make all the glass in Hogwarts shatter coursed through Lily much like Snape's anger had. She practically threw the vials of love potion that had been stored in her pockets at Professor Slughorn's desk.

Luckily, he wasn't currently there so she was able to storm out dramatically without the worry of getting yelled at. It seemed that with every good thing that happened to her a bad one was returned, it was like some screwed up, twisted version of karma that worked in the complete opposite way it was supposed to.

When she had been having fun with Marley and Alice, her parents had died, when she went to Hogsmeade for the first time in a long time, she got attacked by death eaters, when she made friends with Sirius, James decided he hated them, and when she successfully brewed Amortentia and made up with James, she got yelled at by Snape. She decided that maybe she should just go live in a box for a while…then nothing good OR bad would happen to her! She realized she sounded like Sirius and snorted a bit as she walked into her common room. The adrenaline that had previously rushed through her was still present, but it was slowly running out and reality was returning to her.

Remus and Marley were playing another game of chess with Alice close by and James was still sitting by the fire, creating shapes out the rosy flames with his wand. It was like nothing had happened in the last half hour.

A small sob escaped her lips at the sight of how normal they all were. She pressed her hand to her mouth, but it was too late. All four heads rapidly turned in her direction and they became blurry with the tears growing in her eyes. She closed them before any could escape. Lily had vowed that she wasn't going to let a tear slide down her cheeks ever again and she wished to stay true to that promise as long as possible.

A pair of strong arms engulfed her and she buried her head in the shoulder of the person who she assumed to be James. He murmured soothing words in her ear and rubbed her back while she struggled with the urge to break down. Ever so slowly, her mind cleared and she was able to slip out of his grasp. She flashed him a quivering smile before walking over to sit on one of the couches.

"Are you okay Lily?" Remus asked. She nodded and smiled.

"I just had a run in with Snape, that's all" she said shaking her head. She realized the rest of her was shaking slightly too.

All of the room's occupants scowled at the name, but didn't push it any farther. She was obviously not physically hurt and if she was able to shake it off so fast, she'd be fine. Luckily, James decided to change the subject.

"So what're you guys doing for Christmas Break tomorrow?" he asked.

"I am heading to Australia with my parents for 'an outback adventure' as they called it." Remus said after his knight brutally smashed Marley's bishop.

"I'm going to stay with my cousins. You guys remember Fabian, Gideon, and Molly right?" Alice said to the nods of her friends, "What are you doing Mar?"

"France baby!" she yelled to the laughs of everyone else, "I'll make sure to take pictures of all the cute French guys." She said wiggling her eyebrows. Alice grinned and nodded heartily.

"I guess I'll be staying here this year." Lily said in a rather downcast manner. A Christmas alone…that'd be a first for her.

Marlene put a reassuring hand on her leg because she knew that Lily was thinking about _why_ she couldn't go home. Her house probably wasn't even there anymore. Lily hadn't seen it since she came to school, and she didn't wish to either.

"Lils, why don't you come home with Sirius and I?" James asked after a second, "I mean, I know it's kinda sudden since we haven't talked to each other in a week, but it'll be fun! Like, SUPER fun! We have plenty of rooms," Remus scoffed at that. He knew for sure that James's house probably had enough rooms to hold the entire Gryffindor house,

" I'm sure my parents would _love_ to meet the famous Lily Evans I told them about. My mom almost sent me a Howler when I told her I was in a fight with you and my best mate, she'll be glad to know we're okay now." James said rambling on while grinning.

"I could teach you how to play Quidditch, and you can teach my mom how to cook like a muggle, because she's always wanted to learn, and you can help decorate the Christmas tree! Oh, it'd be great!" he continued. The offer _was_ tempting…Christmas with James and Sirius? It would sure be interesting.

"Yeah…" Lily said uncertainly, "Why not?" she then said after a few seconds. James's smile was wider then she had ever seen it before, he looked purely ecstatic.

"Brilliant, great! That's wonderful!" he said cheerily, "I'll go write my parents to tell them now!" he stood and ran up his stairs and Lily giggled at his antics. Alice just shook her head as if she was worried about James's health and Remus and Marlene laughed along with Lily. The first mentioned also loudly yelled,

"CHECKMATE!"

Lily grinned. It seemed as if James had finally made things right. But, who would have ever guessed that she would be going home for Christmas with two of the Marauders.

########## 

**I know it jumps around a bit, but I really love this one. Please Review and tell me what you think. **

**-Sweets 5236**


	17. Car Rides and Mansions

**Edited: June 17, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

_Dearest Mother (whom I love with all my heart),_

_ Have I told you that you looked beautiful today? Well, I assume you do, I haven't actually seen you since school started, but you're always lovely. I have a favor to ask of you, just a teensy-tiny one. Would you mind if Lily stayed with us for Christmas?"_

_-James _

_P.S. By the way, Lily, Sirius, and I made up and no, they aren't dating. _

James handed the short letter to his grey owl Rhino. James loved his owl and had it since his first year at Hogwarts. Sirius often made fun of James's fondness for the animal telling him it lowered his number on the manly scale (whatever that was supposed to be).

"To mom" he said. Rhino hooted in response.

The bird flew out the window with stunning speed and grace. After several seconds it disappeared into the darkening distance.

He leaned back in his chair and sighed. Lily really was a wonderful person if she had been able to forgive him so fast. He knew that what he had done was amazingly awful and vile. He left her in time of need. A time where he should have been there for her.

He couldn't help but feel like Lily was his responsibility now. With no parents and a sister who separated herself from her, she needed all of the support she could possibly receive. Hopefully with Lily staying with them over the break, she would be able to see how truly sorry he is.

James looked around his room as he thought. He had been in love with his Head Boy living space since the first time he saw it. There was a large window overlooking the forest and Quidditch pitch and a desk similar to the one down in the common room sat beneath it. His bed was huge and draped in all shades of red and gold and after a long day, it felt as if he was collapsing into a large cloud and that was always helpful.

He was snapped out of his thoughts about the bed when someone ran in and jumped on it, causing the many pillows to fly in all directions. It was Sirius.

"Hey Prongs. I couldn't seem to remember the last time we had a man-to-man talk so I decided to come up and strike up a conversation." The boy said grinning. His smile faltered a bit. "Listen, James, I understand if you want me to stay here for this Christmas…"

"Are you kidding Pads? Why wouldn't I want you to come! Without you, my mum would actually have to get rid of the leftovers once a week instead of letting you wolf them down every Saturday. It's not like I have any reason to be mad at you anymore, if anything you and Lily are the once who should be mad at me!" James said without thought while interrupting his friend.

That's when it struck James. What is Sirius _was_ still mad at him? He seemed a bit reluctant to agree with Lily in the forest after all. James' face fell.

In truth, James had been right; Sirius didn't want to go to the Potter's for Christmas because his insides were still boiling. James had broken at least six of the Marauder rules! Sirius didn't think the boy should be forgiven.

With another look at his friend, he saw what Lily had in the Forbidden Forest. The look of sincere apology in James's eyes, as if he knew why Sirius was suggesting that he shouldn't go home with him for the holidays. His friend was sorry.

"Prongs?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"I…I just want to forget this all happened, ok?"

"Me too, man, I really am sorry though. Do you still want to come over for Christmas?"

"Yeah ok." He said slowly. James's smile burst and seemed to change the whole feeling in the room. Sirius's smile carefully followed. "I guess we'll have another half-Marauder holiday." He said with a grin.

His next sentence was cut off by the sound of an owl flying through the window. _That was fast_ James thought. He gingerly took the note attached to his owl's leg and quickly scanned his eyes over its words.

_James,_

_ Yes of course Lily can stay with us! Oh this is wonderful! Tell her I'm very excited to meet the girl my son has been talking about for the past 6 years. Say hello to Sirius for me, I assume he will be coming too. I'll see you tomorrow._

_-Mum_

"Yeah, but is it okay if it's a half-Marauder-Lily Christmas?" James said smiling. Sirius responded with a toothy grin of his own. This was going to be the best holiday yet.

##########

"Sunshine! Wanna grab a compartment with us?" Sirius yelled down the train corridor.

The Hogwarts Express was just about to leave the Hogsmeade Station. Now Lily felt conflicted. Go with her friends she's had forever or go with her newfound friends that she was spending Christmas break with? Her eyes darted between the two groups on either sides of the small hall. She would twitch slightly in one direction and turn back to the other. The Marauders where full of silent laughter. She heard Alice giggle at her flustered attitude so she shot her a glare.

"Go ahead Miss Marauder. We were just going to sit with Frank any way…plus you should probably stick with them for the ride since you ARE going to their house and all that." Marlene said rolling her eyes.

Lily gave her a grateful smile and made her way to the Marauder's spot on the train.

She walked into the compartment and poked Sirius's arm with her finger.

"Scoot Snicker doodle." She said in a mocking voice.

He nodded and moved over a bit so that Lily could sit between him and James. She sat and straightened her shirt while a strange cough came out of Remus's mouth that vaguely sounded like "whipped". Lily smiled and Sirius maturely stuck his tongue out at Moony. James chuckled and easily predicted what was going to happen next.

"So Christmas or Halloween?" Lily said to Sirius as if she hadn't heard Remus.

She brushed a few stray strands of hair out of her green eyes and waited for his response. James thought it was wonderful how great Sirius and Lily could get along, but he couldn't help being a bit jealous.

"Easy. Christmas. Presents, pranks, and mum's pumpkin pie." Sirius said licking his lips.

"Yeah, I love Christmas too. My dad used to always read a chapter of our favorite book to us before bed and then we would set out cookies and carrots for Father Christmas and his reindeer." She said smiling sadly. James gave her shoulder a quick squeeze and Sirius returned her sad smile.

"Cookies or cake?" he asked her.

"Cake, I'm a sucker for some good frosting." She said licking her lips.

"I'm with you on the frosting part, but nothing beats Remus's mum's,"

"Snicker doodles," She and Remus said at the same time. Everyone was laughing at the drool that was practically dripping off Sirius's chin. He sure loved food.

"Oh" James said slapping his hand to his forehead, "it makes sense now!"

"What?" Peter asked.

He had barely made a peep the whole ride. He was going to be at his grandparents' house in Germany all break so James's offer for him to go to the Potter's house with Sirius and Lily was declined.

"That nickname!" he said leaning over Lily to smirk at Sirius.

Sirius just shrugged and propped his feet up on Remus's lap in the seat in front of him. Remus, who was wrapped up in a book, just pushed them off and continued reading.

"Flowers or chocolates?" Lily asked teasingly.

"Who would ask that to a guy?" James said, but his eyes were sparkling with mirth.

"Obviously Lily would." Replied Remus as he looked up from his book for a moment.

"Chocolates. Honeyduke's chocolates actually." Sirius said smiling. He frowned after a few seconds. "All this talk of food is making me hungry. I wish..."

Before he had even finished his sentence Lily was unzipping her bag and pulling out a package of Bertie Botts. She tossed them onto his lap before he made another peep.

"Thanks Sunshine, you know me well." He said wolfing them down. "Little weird actually. But it's also weird that when you were little you would run around screaming that…" Sirius couldn't finish because Lily had slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Oh what is this about Petal?" James asked smiling. "Do I sense blackmail?"

"Haha," she laughed nervously, "No, what are you talking about? I don't sense blackmail, do you Remus?"

"I chose to stay out of this," he smartly replied.

"Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley?" Sirius asked through a mouthful of jellybeans. Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust but answered all the same.

This question game was Sirius and Lily's "thing" as Remus had said. He stated that all friends had a "thing". Like the Marauder's was pranking, Lily and her friends' was the tree by the lake, and Lily and Sirius' thing was the many questions they asked each other. These questions were completely random and really had nothing to do with anything.

During the days that James was mad at them, they would ask each other questions to pass the time. Once Remus and Alice forgave them it became less, but it still stuck. The questions brought on little stories or jokes and it was quite amusing to watch them converse in the means of the simple questions. Lily and Sirius knew each other as well as Lily and Marlene did at that point and maybe even more.

Remus had also said that individual people had "things" and all those "things" contributed towards the friends' "things". Like how James' mischievousness, Sirius' planning skills, Remus' smarts, and Peter's ability to lie on cue all put points towards their pranking.

"Pie or Pizza?" Lily asked.

"Pie one hundred and ten percent of the way." Sirius said.

"Pumpkin right?" she said.

"How'd you know that? I've never pictured you as much of a stalker as James" Sirius said smiling over Lily to show that he was partially joking.

"Haha very funny." She said rolling her eyes, "Actually you said earlier that pumpkin pie was one of your favorite things about Christmas." 

"You're a good listener Sunshine. So Black or White?"

Soon the two ran out ideas of things to ask, but they knew more would come into their minds soon, they always did. After a while the compartment became silent except for the sounds of Remus turning pages and Peter scribbling down a Potions essays. James was playing with the ends of Lily's hair and Sirius was trying to figure out how her pen worked. Soon Lily was slowly sent off into a world of sleep.

##########

"Lily" a voice whispered in her ear. She sat up feeling groggy with a pulsing headache.

"Yeah?" she said with her eyes half closed. She vigorously rubbed them to snap out of it. The face of Remus slowly came into view.

"We're here." He said.

She turned to either side of her and saw that James and Sirius must have fallen asleep too for their reactions to the train stopping were quite similar. Lily stood and placed a hand on Sirius's head to steady herself.

"Ow, Sunshine, watch the hair," he hissed good-naturedly.

The group of five walked off the train and onto Platform 9 and ¾ with half of them in a sleep induced daze. The Marauders said their goodbyes and Lily gave Remus and Peter fleeting hugs along with promising Alice and Marley she'd write. She was about to follow James and Sirius, who she assumed were heading towards James' parents, when Remus held onto her arm.

She watched him pull something out of his pocket and duplicate it. He handed one copy to her and carefully stowed the other back where it was before.

"I figured you might want one." He said grinning. His amber eyes were sparkling. "Merry Christmas Lily." He said as he walked away.

She looked down at the paper and saw that it was a picture, a rather memorable one at that. Remus must have taken it on the ride over.

"SUNSHINE! WE'RE GOING TO LEAVE YOU IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE!" she heard the voice of Sirius yell.

Lily stuffed the moving photo into her pocket. She turned and walked forward at a quick pace towards Sirius and James who were standing next to an older couple. She could immediately tell they were James's mom and dad by Mr. Potter's messy hair and Mrs. Potter's warm hazel eyes. Just like James's.

"Mum, Dad, this is Lily Evans." James said gesturing towards her.

Lily stuck her hand out. What caught her off guard was when Mrs. Potter, instead of shaking her hand, pulled her into a strong hug and Mr. Potter quickly followed her lead.

"It's very nice to meet you Lily, you have no idea how much James as talked about you." Mrs. Potter said with a kind smile.

"You also have no idea how much I complain about it." Sirius said nudging Lily's arm. She laughed.

"Thanks, it's nice to meet you too Mrs. Potter." She said politely.

"Oh none of that. I'm Charlus and my wife is Dorea, we feel old enough already." James's dad said with a grin very similar to his son's. Lily nodded and easily returned the smile.

"The ministry had provided us with a car this year." Charlus said excitedly. "I'm not aloud to drive it of course, but it sure is fascinating."

Lily giggled and James and Sirius rolled their eyes. He reminded Lily of Arthur Weasley. He was a seventh year when she was in her second year at Hogwarts. His attraction to muggle objects was hilarious.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter exited the platform with the three young wizards in tow. Dorea was caught up in a conversation with her husband about what she was going to have the house elf make for Christmas dinner and Lily found it the perfect opportunity to show Remus's picture to James and Sirius.

She pulled it out of her pocket while trying to guess what their reactions would be.

"Looks like Remus is more devious then I thought." She said. " Don't think you're lucky I have this because he has one too." Lily waved the photo under their noses.

It was of the three of them sleeping on the train. Lily was stretched out across the train seat. Her head was resting on James' knees and her foot was on Sirius' lap while the other was propped up on his shoulder

James's right hand was tangled in her hair. His head was leaning against the corner of the compartment and every few seconds it would bounce due to the train's movement causing him to frown in his sleep, but not wake up.

Sirius was slouched slightly and seemed to be cuddling Lily's shoe. He was also snoring rather obviously.

In some ways the picture was sweet, in others it was hilarious and potentially embarrassing.

At the sight of them on the paper, Sirius was laughing and James was awkwardly running his hand through his hair.

"Why aren't we photogenic." Sirius said.

Lily laughed along with him and they all climbed into the car that James's parents had gotten. A ministry driver was at the front so both rows of passenger seats were facing each other.

All laughs came to a halt at the sight of Mr. and Mrs. Potter who were looking at them with "we mean business" expressions. It seemed like the temperature had dropped twenty degrees.

"Lily, dear" said Dorea lightening up a tiny bit, "we want you to know that this has nothing to do with you. Usually we would pull the boys aside to talk to them alone, but this is something we need to address now." She said. Mr. Potter turned to James and Sirius.

"A few hours after the first Hogsmeade weekend in December, Albus Dumbledore stepped out of our fireplace." He started. All three seventeen year olds turned pale at the thought of that day, and they all knew what was going to be said during the ride.

"He informed us that a group of Death Eaters entered Hogsmeade and started a duel with several of the students. He listed the four names and we rushed to the school in a matter of seconds.

We found our son and his best friends passed out in the Hospital wing covered in blood." He said, his voice cracking.

They all saw his eyes grow moist. Lily squeezed her own eyes closed and her hand automatically moved from its spot on her thigh up to her rib cage. She could feel the long scar from the event under her shirt. James, who was on her left, grabbed hold of the hand and pulled it down to his lap. He clutched it tightly to ward away her fears. The Potter's didn't seem to notice.

"You have no idea how awful that was for us!" Dorea said, shaking with tears streaking down her face. "Knowing that even a few kilometers from Hogwarts you could still get killed! What would have happened if a killing curse had hit you! What if you were skewered or you bled to death, or,"

James's mind went to the sight of the red snow that covered the spot where Lily had been. She _had_ almost bled to death. He turned to see Lily with her eyes snapped shut. She was shaking yet his parents were still too focused on him. He saw Sirius's hand was gripping her shoulder, trying to lessen the little tremors that were going through her. It seemed to be making little difference.

"What would we have done if our boys died, James? All because you weren't thinking and wanted to be heroes."

"Professor Dumbledore didn't want us to talk to you about it when you awoke. He wanted you to tell us by yourself. He said you needed to do this. But neither of you boys spoke a word or wrote one letter about it. You need to understand that you can trust us." Mr. Potter said.

"James, Sirius, do you realize you can tell us anything? I felt like my little boy didn't need his mum anymore. Even after a situation so dire." Mrs. Potter asked shakily.

"I'm sorry mum. I didn't want to be pulled out of Hogwarts and I didn't want you to be scared," James whispered, just wanting the conversation to be over.

Sirius nodded and held to Lily tighter. She kept her eyes shut. Images flashed across her closed lids. The expression on Bellatrix's face, the sight of the blood seeping though her clothes, James's broken arm, and Sirius's black eye. All of it. Her struggle to contain her tears ensued once more and she felt James's hand grip hers even tighter.

"Lily, are you okay." He spoke in her ear.

The car had gone silent when Mr. and Mrs. Potter had finally noticed Lily's reaction to the conversation. She nodded and bit her lip. Everything was coming back. But most of all was that wicked curse. It had made her want to die. She would have done anything to make it stop. _Anything. _That's what scared her. After a few seconds of pain, she had been incredibly vulnerable.

"Sweetie, do you need us to stop the car?" she barley heard Mrs. Potter asked. Lily couldn't find the strength to respond, but she did feel sick to her stomach.

"Mom, pull over, now." James said, his voice shaking.

Dorea obliged and drove to the side of the rode. James flung the door open and dragged Lily out. Sirius was close behind. The two boys both looked away when she emptied the contents of her stomach out onto the snow.

She turned and walked to the left a bit. Lily sat on the cold ice and sobbed. She broke her promise to herself already. She felt two warm bodies sit on either side of her. Sirius grabbed her hand and she felt safe. James pulled her into a side hug and she felt cared for. She could feel James's tears drip off his nose and onto her head. Sirius's hand was shaking.

The length of time they sat there seemed like a millennium, but it was okay.

Charlus and Dorea watched their two sons help their friend. Dorea could already tell that it was no matter that Lily had an opposing feeling towards them because they all need each other now. She held her husband back when he made the move to get out of the car with them.

"No" she said. "Let them be alone."

They watched as Sirius stood. He pulled Lily and James with him. The three embraced, forming a big group hug outside the car. They watched as they all dried their tears and whispered reassuring words to one another. They climbed back into the car and saw that Mr. and Mrs. Potter were crying too.

"Lily, James, Sirius? Are you okay?"

Variations of "I'm sorry"s and "I'm fine"s came out of their mouths. The car started up again and they continued towards the Potter's house.

"Lily was hit with the Cruciatus and she did almost bleed to death." Sirius confided.

His words were laced with anger and the need for revenge. James noticed it was the first time he had heard Sirius call Lily by her real name since the morning he created his nickname for her.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter just stared at Lily for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry Lily…and James and Sirius…we had no idea it had been that terrible. We just saw, no one told us what had really happened in the sense of injuries. I shouldn't have been talking about it." Dorea said. "We just wanted you to realize how much it actually meant when you didn't say anything." She said looking this time at James and Sirius.

"Mom, it won't happen again. I'll make sure of it," James said strongly. The remaining Potters nodded their heads in response and silence took over the car.

"So Sunshine…Ice cream or frozen yogurt?" Sirius asked. Lily shook her head sadly. What she needed was a few moments to clear her head

##########

A few minutes passed and the vehicle stopped. They all got out in a slightly better mood and Lily couldn't help but gasp at the sheer size of the Potter's home. It was gigantic and she didn't seem to have enough time to marvel at it because Sirius was pulling her towards the door. He was practically skipping. He was home.

They all stopped just inside the doorway.

"We're going back to the ministry soon. We work the afternoon and night shift today, but we'll be back for dinner tomorrow at the latest. Lily, I'm so sorry your stay had to start like this. I wish we could have avoided the topic," said Charlus.

"No, I understand. It would have had to have happened eventually." Lily said smiling best she could. Mrs. Potter gave her another hug.

"Lily, we'll be your family now okay? We're there for you as much as we're there for James and Sirius." She whispered in her ear.

Lily nodded and her heart swelled. The Potters were the very best of people; the ones who'd do anything to help a wayward soul or mend a broken heart.

They all watched as Charlus and Dorea stepped into the fireplace and departed in a flash of green smoke. The second they disappeared in that puff, Sirius turned around and grinned widely. It wasn't just any grin though, it was the grin that said 'the parents are gone and now we can do something without getting in trouble'.

"Truth or Dare anyone?" he asked.

##########

**Please Review! Tell me what you think about this chapter.**

**-Sweets5236**


	18. Truth or Dare and Orange Juice

**Edited: June 18, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

"Okay Sunshine, you should know that we play Truth or Dare a little differently then your average muggle." Sirius said excitedly.

His enthusiasm matched that of a six-year-old high on sugar. Lily grinned widely at how he was practically bouncing off the walls.

The three seventeen year olds were currently sitting in a small circle up in James's bedroom. Lily suspected she would have gotten lost in the manor if she didn't have James and Sirius as her guide.

The large space was covered in Quidditch posters and Gryffindor colors. Several pieces of clothing were strewn across the floor, but it was in an almost orderly fashion. Old essays and letters covered a small writing desk he had and his bed was neatly made. The room was exactly what Lily expected. It was a perfect combination of messy and clean, completely James.

"There are only five rules." The room's owner started to say. He was obviously as excited as Sirius was.

"Rule number one, you can do no more then two of the same types in a row." Sirius explained.

"Rule number two, we don't have any chickens or passes. If you really need to get out of a truth or dare, you have to do two of the opposite type then and there instead, but that option is only opened up to you once every game."

"Rule number three, no _fatal_ injuries." Sirius said looking at James in particular. This rule almost scared Lily…why would they _want_ to fatally injure anyone anyway?

"Rule number four, the game ends at the sight of ANY person of authority."

"Rule number five, you may only ask a question once to the same person. For example, if I asked you a question and you took two dares instead, I couldn't ask you the same question again. Oh, and you get one bathroom pass.

The thing the makes this game different is that a truth spell is put on you. If you lie you turn purple and your hair turns green…it stays that way until you tell the truth."

"And," James started. Lily grimaced. But, what did she expect? Of course there was more. "The winner of our Truth or Dare Best Sportsmanship Award gets my cloak to themselves for a week." The two boys smirked as if they were reliving fond memories.

"Cloak? Why would I need a cloak?" Lily said with confusion in her voice.

"Uhhhhh…" Sirius said in reply. His eyes darted around the room to anywhere besides Lily. Sirius was a really awful liar and they all knew it.

Finally he looked to James and they both shared a look with significant meaning. Sirius nodded once and they both turned back to the red headed girl.

"It isn't just any cloak, Petal, it's an invisibility cloak. Family heirloom actually." James said looking rather smug.

Lily nodded appreciatively. An invisibility cloak was a decent thing to be smug about. How they were able to get away with so many pranks made sense now. Lily also knew that they had some sort of map. Although she's never seen it in person, it was sure to be something that benefited their area of expertise.

"LET THE GAMES COMENCE!" Screamed Sirius obnoxiously, "Truth or dare, Prongs?" he asked in a sinister voice. He mumbled an incantation over the three of them before James could answer.

"Dare" the boy said without thought while running his hand through his already messy hair.

Sirius grinned. A mind-blowing, super-amazing, awesomely brilliant plan was slowly forming in his mind. This plan was partway hilarious and embarrassing and part way destiny fulfilling. It would probably take the whole game to work, but it would be worth it in the end. He decided to start off simple.

"I dare you to floo professor McGonagall and tell her that you can never be together because _Lily_ holds your heart." Sirius dramatically while trying to impersonate James who was red in the face. He shook his head in defeat and made his way out of the room.

Sirius turned back to Lily and saw that she was also quite red. His plan was in motion. He had to stop himself from letting out an evil-like laugh.

Her blush was slowly subsiding though and Sirius could tell she had her thinking face on. Her head was tilted to the side and her eyebrows were arched. It was as if her bright green eyes were x-raying him. He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. She wouldn't be able to catch on after the first dare, right? If that were to happen she'd surely crush his plans in two.

He almost wanted to tell her what he was doing just to get her to stop. That looks gave him the chills. Sirius tried to stay strong, but his resolve was gradually weakening.

"How do we know he did it?" she asked after a few moments.

He gratefully let out the breath he was holding in. He had been expecting her to ask something different.

"It's similar to the truth except you turn red instead of purple and your hair turns magenta." Sirius replied nonchalantly.

They both turned to see James walk back into his room. Lily saw no magenta hair. He sat besides Sirius and grinned.

"Left her speechless, I did." He snickered. Sirius high-fived him and smiled mischievously. Lily found herself rolling her eyes.

"They're gonna get stuck that way!" Sirius sung.

"Lily, Truth or Dare?" James asked her.

"Truth." She said hesitantly. It wouldn't be too bad…right?

"What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?" James asked.

Lily blushed heavily and Sirius couldn't keep his laughter to himself. He happened to know the answer to this truth. It was the same thing he almost told James on the train ride over.

Lily mumbled something neither boy could understand.

"What was that Sunshine? I don't think I heard you." Sirius said between his bark like laughs.

"When I was little…my sister pulled this prank on me and…yeah, that's it,"

"Nice try, Sunshine. You're going to have to elaborate" Sirius said in a singsong voice.

Lily threw one of James's shirts from the floor at him. It landed on his head and he chucked it back.

"I used to run through my house screaming that I would be a magic fairy princess and when my sister said I wouldn't I accidently set her hair on fire."

"What's embarrassing about that, that's just hilarious!" James exclaimed.

"She's not done actually." Sirius smirked.

"Then the next day, she glued the seat on the swing at the park before I sat down on it…I was stuck for almost four hours. I spent half the time screaming for help and the other half singing to myself out of boredom. An old lady thought I was insane when I told her my butt was stuck. What I didn't know was that my sister had hidden a camera recording me. She showed the whole thing at our family party. It was awful." She ended, burying her head in her hands.

At the end of her story both boys were guffawing and practically rolling on the floor. Lily just scowled.

"I was emotionally scarred! It isn't that funny." She huffed.

"Are you kidding? Of course it is!" James said gasping.

"Snicker doodle, Truth or Dare?" Lily said trying to get out of the spotlight.

"Dare" he replied confidently. She rolled her eyes. If they kept giving her reason to roll them, they'd likely be stuck by the end of the trip like Sirius said they would.

"I dare you to jump into James's pool with your clothes on." She said after some thought. James and Sirius just stared.

"No offence Sunshine, but that was the worst dare I had ever heard in my life." Sirius said laughing. Lily stuck her tongue out and thought up a new idea.

"Fine. Ummm…I dare you to…go and wash your hair with dish soap and orange juice." She said grinning. This one was perfect. James was smiling widely and Sirius looked horrified.

"Move along orange juice boy." James said still grinning like mad. Sirius walked out in the state of a zombie.

"Brilliant, Petal, absolutely brilliant!"

"Why thank you." Lily said taking a bow. "Now that he's gone, I believe we have something to discuss."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes…I don't know if you noticed, but Sirius got that crazy glint in his eye right before he told you your dare. I would be willing to chop my arm off if he wasn't planning something."

"Oh yes, I did notice that actually. I figured we would just have to react when the time comes that he lays out all his cards."

"Wisely stated." Lily replied while nodding. A few minutes passed and there was still no sign of Sirius.

"Do you think we should go check on him?" James asked. Lily was walking out the door before he even finished.

##########

Sirius was in shambles. How could they make him do this to his beautiful hair? It went against all humanity! He had to admit that Lily got him good. She found his weakness and struck!

He stood by the sink with dish soap in one hand and orange juice in the other. He was just hoping that by some miracle, Mr. and Mrs. Potter would come home early and stop this madness.

He knew his time was up when he heard Lily and James come down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Chickening out Padfoot?" James taunted.

"Listen, if you really don't want to do this, just take two truths and be done!" Lily exclaimed. He shook his head quickly.

"No can do Sunshine. I've never had to take that deal and it isn't starting now." He said. Lily sighed and folded her arms. Boy was he stubborn.

"Here Pads, let me help you out." James said.

He grabbed the bottle of dish soap from Sirius's hands and squeezed a giant glop onto his friend's head. Sirius whimpered as James massaged the sticky substance through his black locks.

"My wonderful hair!" he whispered looking at the floor.

"Oh come on, this is nothing a couple of showers won't fix. Stop being such a girl." James said.

Lily giggled and picked up the orange juice. She poured a decent amount onto him and let James do the rest.

Sirius realized that this dare would only make his plan so much more worth it. He would be avenged.

#########

After Padfoot used his bathroom pass to take six consecutive showers, the game resumed and all the competitors were ready. Lily noticed that the smell of orange's still lingered in Sirius' hair for she could still smell it.

"Prongs, Truth or Dare?" he asked.

"Dare." 

"I dare you to hold Sunshine's hand for the rest of the game." He said grinning.

He saw Lily's eyes light up in recognition. She figured out his plan, only a second too late too. James was still oblivious and grasped Lily's hand with little thought. The green-eyed girl just glared at Sirius.

"Sirius, Truth or Dare?" James asked.

"Truth." Sirius said. He decided he didn't want to risk his hair anymore then he already had.

"List five reasons why you like Marlene."

"Easy, I don't" he replied too quickly.

A second later his hair was a sickly green and his whole body was bright purple. Lily laughed loud and clear. All thoughts of how nicely her hand fit in James' were momentarily gone from her mind.

"Go on Padfoot." James said smirking. Sirius frowned. His friends were really out to get him.

"She's funny, smart, amazing at Quidditch, and she eats like a guy." He said almost too quickly.

Lily smiled. Sirius and Marley would be very cute together. She could picture them walking down the halls, holding hands.

"I think you forgot one." James said. His smile was identical to Lily's and she could tell he thought the same things she did.

"Fine…she's pretty too." Sirius said looking at the floor.

His hair returned to its natural color and his skin slowly changed to normal. He sighed in relief and Lily couldn't help but wonder what spell he had cast over all of them at the beginning of the game. Surely it was advanced to have such a complicated timer on it.

"Hey James," Lily said, "think I could use my bathroom pass to go and write Marley?"

"I'm sure you could." He said laughing at the look of horror on his best friend's face.

"Please! Anything but that!" Sirius begged on his knees. Lily laughed.

"No worries Snicker doodle, your secret is safe with me." She said patting his hair.

"But don't think that Moony and Wormtail won't hear about this." James said. Sirius stuck his face in his hands in reply.

"I understand Moony, but where did the rest of you guys come up with your nicknames?" Lily asked, suddenly curious.

"They're after our patronus's" James replied. It was the same excuse they used whenever someone asked them that question.

"Oh" she said looking thoughtful.

She could tell James wasn't being completely truthful. Perhaps part way, but to no extent all the way.

"Lily, Truth or Dare?" Sirius finally asked.

"Truth."

"Of course…if you were forced to marry either Prongs or I, who would you chose?" he asked. All he had to do was spin both of them in circles and then he would lie out the big one.

He then entered a staring contest with Lily. Her gaze held steadily on him with a fierce glare on the side.

"I hate you." Lily said in a scary voice.

Her suspicions about Sirius were right. That question had just confirmed it. He knew exactly what her answer was…he just wanted James to hear it.

After months of him trying to convince her to admit to James that she could almost possibly have a tiny crush on him, Sirius decided to set things up himself. He was obviously cunning (it the only Slytherin trait he possessed) and Lily was scared of what would happen before the game ended.

"No you don't Sunshine." He said smiling. Her glare disappeared for a moment.

"I know I don't," She said in defeat, "but I would chose James." Her blush was the same shade as the red Gryffindor hangings strewn around the room.

James gave her hand a small squeeze and the color on her cheeks darkened. Sirius only grinned and watched the exchange.

Awkward silence engulfed them. Lily obviously needed to cool down and Sirius needed to control his urge to laugh. James was just trying to figure out why Lily was acting so weird around him. He really was clueless.

"Truth or Dare?" She eventually said in Sirius' direction.

"Dare." 

"I dare you to steal Professor Slughorn's crystalized pineapple when we get back from break." She said. Lily was now in this for revenge.

Sirius gulped and nodded. It was well known that their Potions teacher was obsessed with his pineapple. The last kid who tried to steal it earned a month of detention and lost fifty points. It had been James. Sirius realized he would have a very difficult time doing the dare, but he had to. At least he would have the rest of the Christmas holiday to prepare.

"Sunshine, I dare you to sit in James's lap for the rest of the game." Sirius said with a sly smile.

"W-w-what?" Lily stuttered, "How do you know I wasn't going to pick truth!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry, you can't pick three truths in a row." He said shaking his head. She stared him down once more and climbed onto James. She squirmed a bit until she was comfortable and then she shot another glare at Sirius. This was war.

James was in shock and barley heard Lily ask Sirius whether he wanted a truth or dare. He didn't pay attention to the answer either. This was because Lily Evans was sitting in his lap and holding his hand. The girl who had hated him for six years and had been his friend for 4 months was in his lap. The same girl that he pretended not to like anymore, but who he still loved was holding his hand. Those words repeated in his mind over and over and he couldn't' get the goofy grin off his face because she was sitting in his lap and holding his hand.

What finally got his attention was the dare Sirius gave Lily. Apparently the two had just been going back and forth while he was off in his own little world. But this dare snapped him out of it and made his heart race.

"Sunshine, I dare you to kiss Prongs."

##########

**Sorry for any grammar mistakes. Please Review! **

**-Sweets5236**


	19. An Almost Kiss and Quidditch

**Edited: June 18, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

"Sunshine, I dare you to kiss Prongs." Sirius said, his eyes alight with mischief.

Lily's green eyes widened in surprise, she definitely wasn't expecting him to say that. A tornado of thoughts flew around her head. She almost asked Sirius to repeat the dare. There was no way she heard him right. Her mind went into shock for a few moments before she snapped out of it. She certainly didn't want her hair to turn magenta and she figured there was a timer on the charm.

She slowly tilted her head up to look James in the eye. She searched his hazel orbs with a look of confusion. She could feel his pulse quicken. He looked excited. Did he still have feelings for her? Lily had always assumed that James's old crush had died out after he had seen her at her weakest. Why else would he send her so many pitying glances?

How could one girl feel so many things about one guy? That was Lily's problem. One moment James was arrogant and she wanted to hex him into the next century. The next he was sweet and she wanted to throw her arms around his neck and tell him he'd changed. James Potter was a puzzle she had a hard time putting together.

Very carefully she tilted her head to the side, just enough. As James started to lean forward, everything seemed to be traveling in slow motion. His lips were centimeters from her own and a sudden urge to speed up the process and smash hers against his suddenly appeared. There was only one thing that stopped her.

"JAMES? SIRIUS?" the voice of Charlus Potter yelled up the stairs.

Lily and James instantly sprung apart and Lily tumbled half way across the room. She felt her infamous blush creep up her neck. Sirius was laughing so hard he somehow stumbled over and ran into James's dresser, knocking half the pictures on it onto the floor.

His laughter soon subsided as Mr. Potter called for them again. She saw him give a shrug of his shoulders in her direction as if he tried his best. She was sure he did and Lily didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.

She turned to James and saw him run a hand through his hair. There it was again, her contradiction of feelings. That habit of his was amazingly annoying, yet ever so attractive. James was messing with her mind and she was letting him.

Lily stood and brushed her clothes off. The game was now over because a person of authority had been sighted, or rather heard. Her new insight on the feelings she had for James scared her. Had she really wanted to kiss him? That couldn't be right.

Perhaps it was just the adrenaline from the game that brought on that feeling. Yes, that must have been it. Still, it had been nice to hold his hand and she had to admit that it wasn't too bad to sit in his lap either. Surely that was a part of the adrenaline too. She was in a state of hard cold denial, the downfall of every teenage girl.

Lily then vowed to pretend as if the almost kiss had never happened. She vowed to simply forget about it. It would insure a less worrying holiday and keep things normal with James. At least that was what she hoped. As she thought earlier, he was very confusing. For all she knew this could totally backfire on her and he could nonchalantly bring it up during dinner with his parents who were now home.

She turned to see the boys leave the room at yet another call from Mr. Potter. Sirius told her to follow so the three trekked down the carpeted stairs.

Lily refused to meet James's eyes as Mrs. Potter explained that they were let off early as part of a special Christmas gift from the Auror department. Since they didn't work out in the field any longer (they were instead put to paperwork) opportunities like those shown through every now and again. She then went on to say that they would be having dinner in a few minutes. The two adults left the room with promises of a work free holiday.

In the minutes it took for the food to get prepared, James excused himself to the bathroom and Sirius turned to Lily with that familiar glint in his eyes.

"So Sunshine, looked like you _really_ wanted to kiss him didn't you." He smirked.

"W-what… t-that… no… no of course not" she replied while stumbling over her words. His knowing smile only grew wider.

"Guess I'll have to try again the next time we play Truth or Dare"

Lily threw a tickling charm at him and walked into the massive dining room without a glance back. She knew she would pay for it later, but that could be dealt with well…later.

##########

"Night Quidditch?" Lily asked skeptically, trying to stop her chattering teeth.

"Yes, Night Quidditch. It's the best kind actually." Sirius replied.

James, Lily, and Sirius were all standing outside in the cold winter air. Various scarfs, hats, and blankets (many sporting Gryffindor colors) covered the unlikely group of comrades.

Once dinner was finished their silver-eyed friend had dragged them outside. While at it he declared they'd all participate in his favorite game, Night Quidditch. James had returned to his normal joking self and he seemed to have forgotten the game too. For this Lily was grateful.

"Isn't that…oh I don't know…a little dangerous?" she said.

"Why would it be dangerous?" asked James as he leaned over Sirius to look at her.

"Well, it _is_ dark…and snowing." She added at the pinprick of a snowflake on her red nose.

"So?" Sirius said as if a blizzard wouldn't stop him from playing the sport. Lily believed it wouldn't.

"I think I'll just watch." She said nervously shaking her head. She had never been a fan of heights. The two boys shrugged and grabbed their brooms.

Lily hugged her blanket tighter to her thin body and watched them shoot off into the night that was dotted with winking stars. The sky was breath taking. It seemed like a paintbrush tipped with purple had been stroked across the inky blue and then sprinkled with silver glitter.

Glitter. It had always been Lily's favorite craft tool. It was so shiny and fun. When she was younger her and Tuney used to cover and paper in glue and dump a whole can of the sparkly substance over it. Surprisingly enough the colors Lily chose were always red and gold. Petunia on the other hand went for pink and silver. The stars reminded Lily so much of her sister's crazy art projects that she had to bite back the tears that prickled her eyes.

She was snapped out of her thoughts when a strong arm looped around her and pulled her onto something small and skinny. She looked down and realized she was now at least twenty feet in the air. After looking at the snowy ground in terror her arms scrambled to hold onto something. The something she found let out a deep laugh. It was James. Apparently he thought this was funny.

"JAMES POTTER PUT ME DOWN!" she screeched. Her voice sounded strangely like a wounded cat. He laughed again and she punched his shoulder best she could without really letting go of his waist.

"Now why would I do that?" he asked.

Before she could answer James dove down and only pulled up when Lily's feet could have skimmed the ground. A high-pitched shriek left her mouth. She saw Sirius grin as he circled around them.

"Come one Sunshine, join us in a game?" he asked. Lily scowled.

This was their way of blackmailing her. Who knew what they would do if she didn't agree. She nodded apprehensively and buried her head in James's back as he once again zoomed towards the ground. This time he slowed down within a few feet and dropped Lily off. He pointed to a lone broom shed a way off. She nodded and walked towards it with a pout on her face.

After picking up the first broom that she saw Lily walked onto the field and positioned it. Her hands were stark white against the brown wood. Tentatively, she kicked off the ground. Lily hovered a few feet in the air for a few seconds before lurching the broom forward a couple paces. James and Sirius laughed at her pathetic attempt at flying. Honestly, she would laugh too if she weren't the one on the broom that currently held her life.

James flew down to her and looked at her stance on the wooden stick usually used for cleaning muggle houses.

"Loosen up a bit Lils. You'll get nowhere with a death grip like that." He said while moving her hands into a more comfortable position. "Now instead of jerking it, I want you to lightly press forward."

His tone was calming and his instructions were clear. Lily nodded in response and did as she said. It was a lot easier. He grinned at her and she felt butterflies in her stomach. She dismissed the fluttery feeling as her fear of heights.

Lily flew around James's pitch a few times with James and Sirius on either side of her. She was slowly starting to get the hang of it and she couldn't help but a feel a burst of accomplishment flow through her. Her hands were still shaky and her turns still jerky, but she was better.

"Ready to play?" Sirius asked after she went around a few more times.

She nodded once she casted a heating charm on all of them after seeing the boys shivering from the cold air. Their dark hair was covered in little white flakes and their noses and ears were tinted red.

James explained the easy rules (they would only play with a quaffle) and told her that she would be on his team. He gave her the options of keeper or chaser and she quickly chose keeper, deciding it would require the least amount of movement on her part. Sirius would be on a team of his own and man both spots.

The match between friends started off good. James was able to race pass Sirius in a matter of minutes and score ten points through the impressive hoops that were only slightly smaller then the ones at Hogwarts. Seeing as Sirius was usually a beater, James was noticeably better at playing the chaser spot.

Lily's job was minimal for the first little while, but soon Sirius was streaking towards her. On instinct she swerved to the right and blocked his shot successfully. James gave her thumbs up and Sirius smiled despite his losing.

The game occurred in much the same way for the rest of the night. It ended with a score of 110-80 causing James and Lily's team to win. She had to admit; it was surprisingly fun in a thrilling sort of way. She understood why the boys loved the sport. While she would never become part of the team, Lily wouldn't mind playing it again.

After dismounting their brooms, the cold children marched inside once they shook off the snow that covered them. James's house elf kindly informed them that Mr. and Mrs. Potter had gone to bed and would see them in the morning. Sirius requested three mugs of hot chocolate and three of them traveled back up to James's room.

"As I am sure we are all sick of Truth or Dare at the moment, how about we play a friendly game of Would You Rather?" James said as he placed himself on the floor with his mug. Sirius and Lily nodded in agreement.

"You first Lils." James said to her. She snickered at the whipped cream mustache he had gotten, but continued anyway.

"Okay. Snicker doodle, would you rather eat peanut butter off the sidewalk or give Peter a foot massage?" she asked deviously. Sirius shivered.

"Peanut butter." He said without hesitation. "Prongs, would you rather make-out with the giant squid or McGonagall?"

"McGonagall." James replied with a few chuckles.

If Christmas beak continued like this, Lily thought, it might not be too bad. A giant mansion, racing in the snow on brooms, and embarrassing the sense out of her friends almost sounded promising.


	20. Grouchy Moods and Flying Motorcycles

**Edited: June 21, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

An icy blanket of snow covered the quieted world. The trees were leaning at an angle in order to carry the cold, white, burden that was sprinkled across their limbs. The stars were twinkling still and perhaps, one was much brighter than all the others. All the children in the world had visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads, muggles and wizards alike.

Yes, it was that exciting night. Christmas Eve. In an hour Christmas Day would officially begin and Lily Evans had no doubt that Sirius would be awake an hour after the clock struck twelve.

Christmas seemed the only day when the routines of the magic and non-magic were almost exactly the same. Kids jumping on beds would awake sleepy parents, brightly colored gifts would adorn the ground beneath the strong-smelling pine tree, and jolly carols would be sung late into the night. Christmas was magical in a way all its own.

During the three days Lily had been at the Potters she had experienced so many new things that she was sure to remember this holiday as a time of happiness. They had went sledding in a way unique to the muggle world (meaning on a enlarged cookie sheet covered with a shield charm), they had created a giant picture in the snow with sticks and various wand movements, they had flooed McGonagall to make sure she wasn't lonely, they had a Bertie Bott jelly beans war, and they had driven Mr. and Mrs. Potter crazy. It was all brilliant and made Lily feel alive again.

All thoughts of her family were gone from her mind, almost at least. It was refreshing, maybe even relaxing. The laughs of James and Sirius made her eyes twinkle and a smile grace her lips. That was what it should be like very day, she had decided.

Yet, on Christmas Eve, Lily had seen no reason to have fun, no reason to smile. In fact, her mood was grouchy and somewhat standoffish. Nothing felt like it was done the right way and nothing was making her smile.

When the seventeen year old was questioned about this mood, she would flash a small smile and reply that she was a little tired, that's all. The truth was even she didn't know what was wrong. For some reason it felt as if a baseball was sitting at the base of her stomach. It made her queasy and reluctant to move.

For the first time in month she had yelled at James, James, who had been so very kind to her the past few days. She yelled at him for doing stunt on his broom that was far too dangerous. Christmas Eve wasn't a day you were supposed to yell, it was a day to love. It wasn't even the trick that made her mad, it was just something stuck inside her that made Lily wish to scream at the world.

The looks on their faces made her throat prickle and her eyes water. She retreated to her room in tears and stayed there the rest of the afternoon. Lily had once thought of herself as brave. From the moment she was placed in Gryffindor, she felt bold, maybe even like she was better then the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, she definitely felt better then the Slytherins. She had felt on top of the world. Now she felt like she was slipping down the edges and trying to find a handhold on the sphere.

Once she had been sure that James and Sirius were in bed, she had bundled her blanket around herself and slipped down the stairs and out the back door. She sat in the nearest chair and let the frosty air whip her red locks around. But, then it hit her. Everything hit her. She knew why she had been so sad on a day so happy. So she sobbed and shuddered in that beautiful winter air. The stars smiled down at her in an effort to comfort the young girl who was heart-broken.

She sobbed for yelling at James, for making him feel like she hadn't been enjoying her time at his house. She sobbed for Sirius who was stuck at his best friend's house because his parents would torture him if he walked through his own front door. She sobbed for Dumbledore, who was expected to solve the world's problems. But most of all she sobbed because her parents weren't there to comfort her. That was why Christmas Eve felt so pointless. It was because she couldn't have it with her family and her gut had noticed it before her conscience had.

Then, familiar, strong arms scooped her up and held her tight. James. Her comforter sat back down in her chair and pulled Lily into his warm embrace. This made Lily sob for James's compassion, because he was so perfect and she could never be as wonderful as him. She sobbed because he knew her enough to realize she would escape from her room to think and that she would need help.

She was weak. The damsel in distress she had never wanted to be. Her sobs continued and he held her, rubbing her back and she held to him as if he were her lifeboat. His silence calmed Lily's trembling limbs.

He stood when her cries became silent tears. He carried her through the house and up the stairs to her room. James sat her down on her bed as gently as he could and pulled her close to himself.

Lily looked up into those hazel eyes and wondered how someone could be so wonderful. Yes, she didn't have her parents. But, she did have him. She knew she could make it to the next year when James Potter took her face in his warm, callused hands and bestowed a single, lingering kiss. The imaginary baseball that was lodged in her stomach melted into oozing caramel. There were no fireworks like it said there would be in the movies, but she felt happy, ecstatic even. Kissing James felt right.

He smiled sweetly and walked out of the room.

How could someone go through something so meaningful without uttering a single sentence? He had comforted her, walked flights of stairs with her in his arms, and then he made her feel hope. He did this all without a single word. Lily drifted to sleep with the feeling of his lips on hers. Hope was an amazing thing

##########

The sound of someone flinging the door open and the feeling of the same someone bouncing on her bed woke Lily. It was Sirius. His face was alight with mirth and joy. A look at her clock told her that her estimation had been correct. It was 1:30 and only two hours since she had finally closed her eyes in sleep. Only two hours since James had kissed her. But Sirius didn't know that.

She smiled widely in return. The baseball was still nowhere to be seen. The excitement of Christmas Day finally struck her in the face.

"Merry Christmas, Sunshine!" he exclaimed. Lily sat up and threw him off guard with a bear hug.

"Yes, Merry Christmas Sirius." She said.

She turned her head and saw James leaning in the doorway with a smile.

"Feeling better, Lily?" he asked sincerely.

She blushed and nodded. James chuckled and blew her a kiss; he then pantomimed locking his lips with a key. She nodded. Lily understood that he kiss had only been to comfort her, right? It wasn't like James still liked her. No, that was silly. Still, she found herself imagining her and James walking hand in hand through Hogsmeade…on a date. She shook the ridiculous notion out of her head. Sirius didn't even notice the exchange for he was already running to Mr. and Mrs. Potter's room. Now _there_ was a Gryffindor. They all laughed when he yelled,

"WAKE UP YOU OLD COOTS! IT'S CHRISTMAS!" he yelled. The two adults grumbled something incoherent so Sirius took that as an invite to go and open presents without them.

The kids ran down the stairs and grinned, like they did every year, at the sight of all the gifts.

"Who wants to go first?" Lily asked. Sirius wildly waved his hand in the air.

"I DO! I DO!" he exclaimed.

Before they could even answer he gathered all of his presents into a pile and tore the paper off of each one with relish. He got a book called "One Hundred and One Ways to Annoy Your Teacher" from Remus. He grinned devilishly at that. From Marlene, Alice, and Peter he got an assortment of Honeyduke's candy and from Lily he received an array of Zonko products. He exclaimed in delight at the sight of those for it proved that Lily had somewhat stepped out side of her bubble. James on the other hand got him something a bit more unique, a dog grooming kit.

James, for some reason, found this hilarious while Sirius scowled at the arrangement of doggie shampoos and hairbrushes. Lily was rather lost on why it was so funny, but she still found his expression when he first opened it priceless.

"No worries Pads, your real present is in the front." James said after he thought Sirius had waited long enough.

Lily followed the two boys outside and what met her eyes made her gasp in surprise. Standing before them was a Harley Davidson motorcycle of Gryffindor colors. A matching helmet was dangling off the handles with a second for a passenger lying on the back. James got Sirius a motorcycle. WAS HE INSANE? Sirius whooped with joy and hurried to jump on the motorcycle.

His silvery eyes were wide with awe as his hands hovered over the intricate controls. He could practically hear it roar to live without pressing a single button or turning a knob. He lifted his head to look at James when he noticed something important was missing.

"Where are the keys?" he said quickly. James dangled them in front of his face.

"Knowing this would happen, I took the liberty of keeping them with me so that you couldn't ride until AFTER all the presents are opened." He said grinning while shoving the clattering keys into his pocket.

Sirius frowned a bit, and tried to figure out how he could steal them in a less amount of time. In reality he was too excited to think much of anything but the bike itself. With a shrug, he decided it would be best wait. As long as he got to ride it at _some point_ during the day it would all work out.

They all walked back inside and sat in front of the tree once again. Sirius convinced James and Lily to open their presents at the same time so that he would be able to ride his new motorcycle sooner. They agreed, but only to stop his endless whining.

James and Lily both got books on Defense Against the Dark Arts from Remus and Honeyduke's candy from Peter. James got more candy from Marlene and Alice, but Lily received something very different.

She opened up the large box they sent to see the most gorgeous dress on her side of the planet. It was a beautiful satin crème dress with elegant lace covering the lower half of the satin. The sleeves were of the same material and just covered her shoulders. It looked as if it would fit perfectly and hang just below her knees. Why would her friends get her a dress like that? The answer was in a note laid on top.

_Lily,_

_The Potter's host a New Years Eve Ball every year. We figured you need something to wear. Merry Christmas!_

_-Marley and Alice_

"A ball?" Lily asked incredulously. The boys were reading the note over her shoulder.

"Yep, kinda a tradition" James said shrugging as if it were no big matter.

Lily nodded in reply and turned back to her gifts. A ball. The Potters were certainly upper class and this just proved her point further. A sigh almost escaped her lips at the thought of how very different her and James really were. He lived a carefree life in a mansion while Lily still had no idea were she'd go after Hogwarts.

Shaking her head, she decided to open Sirius' gift first and found a Quidditch jersey. At first she thought it was James's, but when she turned it over her own name last name was spelled out on the back with a large number 5 beneath it.

"I thought you might need your own." Sirius said snickering.

"What's the five for?" Lily asked.

"You should know that! You're the fifth Marauder, Sunshine and there's no backing out." He stated matter-of-factly. Lily smiled and threw her arms around his neck in a big hug similar to the one she gave him that morning.

"Thanks Snicker Doodle!" she exclaimed.

She pulled the jersey on over her pajamas and looked at what Sirius had given James. It was the newest broom that had just came out a week before. Lily realized that Sirius somehow had quite a bit of money if he was able to buy that for James. It once again notified Lily of her lower-class ranking. Of course his friend was ecstatic nonetheless.

She then looked at her last present. It was from James. Before she opened it she decided to watch him open the gift she had given. It was wrapped in red with a perfect gold bow on top. He ripped the paper off and pulled out a large leather photo album. It was simple yet beautiful with a forest scene engraved on the cover.

He flipped through the first few pages and saw many pictures of the pranks the Marauders had pulled throughout their Hogwarts years. Their mischievous faces were grinning up from the photos and in almost all of them Sirius was waving frantically. Some things never change.

Several pictures of the Marauders sitting underneath the tree were in the book too and every now and again a picture of Lily and her friends when they were cute second or third years would pop up. James's smile grew larger with each page he turned. Sirius and Lily sat on either of him and Sirius's grin was equally large.

As James got to the middle of the book, the more recent photos started to show up. The first from their seventh year was one of the Marauders at the train station with James wearing his head boy badge. They were all grinning proudly.

The next was the one Sirius had bought off of the third year that had James and Lily under the tree. That picture brought a blush to the face of both of them.

Then there was a picture of James, Lily, and Sirius walking into the Great Hall together before Hogsmeade.

Various pictures of Lily and Sirius, snowmen that Alice and Remus made, and times James and Marlene played each other in chess were featured throughout the rest of the book. The last picture was the one of the three of them on the train taking them to King's Cross Station while they were sleeping.

The other quarter of the book was empty so that he could fill it with pictures to come. Lily didn't want to forget the great friendships they had all made that year and she knew James didn't either.

Hogwarts obviously had many photographers and it took Lily quite some time to track some of the pictures down. She had also gotten the help of Sirius who found almost half of them. The look on James's face made it all worth it. He pulled her into a hug and softly whispered two words in her ear.

"Thank you."

Lily pulled back and gave a shy smile and he motioned for her to open the present her gave her. Its wrappings were similar to the ones on James's present but the paper was gold and the bow was red. It was also a good amount smaller.

What met her eyes when she opened that present took her breath away even more then the dress had. It was a silver charm bracelet. The chain was simple, but Lily could tell it was goblin made. It currently had five silver charms on it and spots for several more. There was a beautiful lily flower that opened and closed, a book with tiny turning pages, a growing tree, and a sparkling sun.

They all were a manifestation of who she truly was. Her name, obviously, brought on the first while the book and tree showed her interests. The shiny sun made Sirius laugh, for it was proof of his silly nickname for her.

The fifth charm was perhaps the most gorgeous though; it was almost like a very miniature snow globe. In it was an equally small picture. Lily had no idea who took it, but it was great. It was of the seven of them. The Marauders, Alice, Marlene, and Lily. They were all outside sitting by the black lake. In the inky blue water you could see several of their bright blue charms books.

Lily remembered that time. It was late October and the weather was perfect. They had all gone outside with their textbooks with the motive of studying. Sirius ended up tossing them all in the lake. Having their purpose defeated by the mischievous boy, they just talked and laughed. It was one of those days that you thought you would never remember, yet seeing the picture brought to think of how nice it had been to just talk without a care in the world.

Lily turned and looked at James in awe after she had fully examined the gift. They stared deeply into the other's eyes for a bit too long for a few seconds later Sirius yelled,

"Just kiss already!"

Thinking back to the night before, Lily blushed crimson. On instinct, they both scooted several feet away from each other and Lily couldn't help but scold Sirius's loud laughter.

The boy then stood and cunningly grabbed the motorcycle keys out of James's pocket. He ran out the front door and James and Lily swiftly followed.

Snow was falling outside, but Sirius didn't care. He grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her onto the back of the bike, somehow managing to push the second helmet onto her head before she could protest. She gave a high-pitched shriek and then something James said made her freeze.

"It flies, by the way."

Sirius grinned and turned the keys. Apparently he wasn't surprised in the least bit. The engine revved loudly.

"Better hold on tight." He told her. She had no time to respond for he took off into the air with the cheers of James following them.

##########

**Yay, chapter 20! Yay, they kissed! Yay, upcoming ball! I hope you liked this chapter. **

**Please review!**

**-Sweets5236**


	21. Bruised Feet and Too Many Spins

**Edited: June 22, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

Lily Evans looked over herself in the long, detailed mirror in her bedroom at the Potter's. She sighed and smoothed down several wrinkles at the bottom of her dress. That beautiful dress Marley and Alice had gotten her fit like a glove, a wonderful, amazing, flattering glove at that. Her sunset-red hair was done in simple soft curls down her back and her green eyes almost glowed. She looked "smashing" as her father would have said.

The New Year would start in exactly six hours. 1978 better bring plenty of good luck. She seemed to need a lot of it lately. This upcoming year would be one of resolutions and starting anew, Lily would make sure of that.

Over the course of the days between Christmas and New Year's Eve, James and Sirius had been prepping her in etiquette, something she wasn't really cut out for. Let's just say that Lily Evans wasn't the most graceful girl out there.

All three had endured hours of waltzes, bruised toes, fancy silverware, and over-exaggerated compliments that ended in fits of laughter. Now, Lily found she was able to waltz around the Potter's ballroom (something she mocked James for having) with Sirius while only stepping on his feet twice. She also knew the difference between the two different spoons and forks and she knew how to make even the Minister of Magic blush at her praise.

The only thing that made it bearable were the long (and flying) motorcycle rides Sirius or James would take her on. She couldn't help but feel like that Gryffindor themed motorcycles was more stable then those thin and flimsy broomsticks. At least she was brave enough to go on _something_ that flew!

All this newfound knowledge would probably leave her mind when she went to sleep that night, but for now she had to stay focused or she was sure to make a fool of herself.

The Potter's ball was a very well attended event. Witches and wizards from everywhere came to enjoy the small talk and excellent dancing (not to mention the food that Sirius always when _on and on and on_ about). The guests invited were hand picked by Mrs. Potter, but it didn't take very much to get a lavish invitation. Going to the ball was almost like a right of passage for the upper-class wizarding people. In other words, it was a very big deal.

"Ready, Sunshine?" she heard. She turned and saw Sirius leaning through the doorway with his always-present smirk.

"Why don't you look like a million bucks, Evans," he said with an exaggerated wink and a chuckle.

"You don't look to bad yourself, Black," she replied with a grin.

He held out his elbow and she happily took it over enthusiastically. They skipped down the long hallway and stopped at James's door. Sirius loudly pounded on it and was greeted by James with an irritated expression. His tie looked ridiculous and vaguely resembled an origami crane. He was obviously having some problems. Lily smiled and pulled it loose. No wonder he never did up that red and gold tie at school.

She quickly tied it correctly with expertly trained and nimble fingers. Her dad had never been able to tie a tie either so Lily's mother had prepped her for the day when he would walk up asking for her assistance. Her dad's ties were usually bright blue with fluffy clouds or sunny orange with little yellow smiley faces. They used to always make her laugh.

James's tie on the other hand was a bit more laid back. It was the exact same color as her dress actually. She couldn't help but realize that he probably did it on purpose.

He smiled sheepishly once she was finished and a bit of pink came to his cheeks.

"Looks like you got outdone by a girl once again, Prongs." Sirius said with a casual smile.

James punched him in the arm and held his elbow out. Lily strung her free arm through his just as she did with Sirius. Now she had both boys at her side and she couldn't help but feel safe.

The three walked down the large marble staircase arm in arm to greet guests. Remus had come home early from his "outback adventure" and was finishing up his own tie as he dashed down the stairs after them.

"Looking a bit peaky Remus…when does it start?" Lily questioned sympathetically at her pale friend. He grimaced

"Three days. I'll be fine." He said shaking his head wearily.

They all knew that the two were talking about the full moon. Remus was slower, and seemingly exhausted when the time drew near for him to transform. His skin grew paler and his scars stood out more prominently, but he was still the same Remus nonetheless.

As the guests started to slowly filter in Lily shook many hands and was introduced as "the fifth Marauder". Surprisingly everyone seemed to know who the Marauders were. This introduction was met with hearty laughs and many winks. Apparently the Marauders were also known for their way with girls.

She was sad to discover that Marley, along with Mr. and Mrs. McKinnon were still in France and Alice was sick with a very mild case of dragon pox that she was already starting to lose. It looked like she would be stuck with the boys all night.

Once the last guest went through the large double doors and into the dining room, the quartet went and took seats in the middle of the too-long-to-be-true dining table. Only Mrs. Potter's best china was laid out of course.

The meal was a lot livelier and entertaining then expected and it made Lily's heart soar when she realized that she was able to fit in quite well. Luckily the only thing close to an accident was when she almost spewed water out her nose when Sirius stuck asparagus in his ears. That boy sure was something.

##########

James couldn't help but hold his breath while Lily fixed his tie. He also couldn't help but notice how close they were and how pretty her hair looked in the current lighting. His heart raced and when she stepped back, something in him frowned. He looked down at the tie and saw it was perfect, of course. Lily couldn't be anything, or do anything, that wasn't perfect.

He grinned widely enough that his cheeks hurt when she took his arm. Then he realized how love-struck he actually was. It was a bit pathetic when he thought about it. But, even if he did dwell on his obsessive like crush, it didn't change anything he thought about her.

She was still the most caring person ever when she questioned Remus's health and she was still the most charming woman he had ever met when she greeted the guests with ease and a sparkly smile.

As soon as dinner ended he grabbed her hand and dragged her to the spacious ballroom. He blushed as she snickered when they walked in. What's so bad about having a ballroom anyway?

The others, who had been previously residing in the dining room, followed orderly behind them. A quick waltz was struck up and he spun her around with ease. Her crystal clear laugh made him want to laugh along with her.

Once the song ended she was flushed, but still happy either way. As an equally fast song began, she was whisked away by Remus.

"Mind is I steal her for a bit, Prongs?" he said with a smirk as they danced across the room without a response.

He chuckled and went to save Sirius who was being told by the Hungarian Minister of Magic how to best file papers that contained information on wizarding budgets.

##########

"So…" Remus paused for a long while.

"Yeeesssss?" Lily said with a laugh.

"Oh, I'm just trying to come up with a clever nickname for you…seems like everyone else has one." He smirked.

Remus's smirk wasn't as scary as Sirius's (scary as in he was going to pull a prank on you at any moment) or as careless as James's. It was the kind of smirk that told you that Remus was one smart cookie. It was innocent and full of knowledge.

"How about…Rose. No, that doesn't quite work. " He said thinking hard.

"It'd be quite comforting to know that at least SOMEONE still calls me by my name,"

"Lily it is then," he replied grinning. She smiled widely.

"Now knowing you Mr. Lupin, I'd say you pulled me onto this dance floor for something other than dancing." Lily said wisely. Remus smiled sheepishly.

"Dead on as always Ms. Evans. I just wanted to wished to inquire if you realized that spark in your eyes was there."

"What" she said confusedly.

"You know, that spark that lights up your eyes every time you look at James over my shoulder?"

Lily blushed deep red. Was he trying to confuse her on purpose? There wasn't any "spark"…right? He was surely joking. Yet the look on his face told her otherwise.

"Really?" she said hesitantly.

"Really,"

"Well, that's embarrassing. Now tell me Remus, got a special girl back at Hogwarts?" she said trying to brush it off.

"Not so fast, we're still on the subject of you and a certain glasses-wearing dofus." He said laughing at Lily's poor attempt at changing the topic.

"Lily, what do you think of when you see James?" he said in a voice more serious.

"I see…I see the same boy who taunted my best friend, who annoyed me with his ability to breeze through classes, and who embarrassed me to death everyday." She paused, "I also see the boy who grew up to do what was asked of him, who saved me from drowning in despair, and who made me smile." She said wistfully.

"I want you to think about that Lily, please. The good things." Remus said looking her in the eye.

First Sirius, now Remus, two of four marauders though that James and her were destined to be together. Did that mean something? Lily decided to hold it off until the end of the year. She smiled when she realized that the end of the year was now.

The song ended and Remus left with a meaningful grin. In the time she wasn't dancing, Lily realized her feet were already starting to ache. Boy was she a wimp. Of course she couldn't dwell on that for long because Sirius grabbed her hand and spun her around crazily.

"Hey, Sunshine." He said with a mischievous grin.

"Hello, Snicker doodle." She said back.

He stopped his insane spinning (good thing too for Lily didn't know how much longer she would have been able to last) and expertly danced her around the room. She didn't understand how these boys could be so fantastic at dancing while she was a complete klutz. Ah well, she couldn't have everything.

"Spin or dip?" he asked her.

"Um…neither?" she said hopefully.

"Oh come on, you now that isn't how the game works!" he pouted.

"Fine, spin." She said with the roll of her eyes.

After too many spins to count the song finally ended. Thank goodness for that too. Lily immediately ran to the side of the room, pulled off her heels and plopped onto the floor. At that same moment the three present Marauders joined her, forming a little circle. She smiled at all of them and wondered why she had hated them so much in years previous.

##########

"10-9-8-"

The countdown had started and all were outside to see a display of fireworks being put on. Sirius and James were screaming the loudest out of them all and Remus was trying to act as if he didn't know the two insane boys who were making fools of themselves. In the end he decided to embrace their craziness and stood by Lily.

"3-2-1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Remus and Sirius both swooped in to kiss her cheeks while James got one right on the top of her head. They pulled back laughing. Then, all heck broke loose.

########## 

**Please review!**

**-Sweets5236**


	22. Death Eaters and Revenge

**Edited: June 22, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

The deafening cracks of the newly started fireworks mixed in with the too recognizable sound of apparition. The combination was almost unbearable for most ears. Tall, hooded figures cloaked in black appeared before the eyes of all the guests. You could almost feel the shock and unmistakable fear radiating in waves off of each of them. A terrifying moment of dead silence rung through the cool nighttime air. Before long, the first spell was fired.

It was a patronus, a brilliant, silver, coyote shooting out from Mr. Potter's wand. The newly started flashes of red, yellow, orange, and-the most terrifying-green, cruelly resembled a rainbow. Yet those horrible bursts of color were the opposite of the serene picture that appeared in the sky after rainfall.

The screams of the witches and wizards gave the patronus message enough meaning without words and it ran off into the night. Help would come soon if they were lucky. Who knew what was happening at the Ministry or how soon aurors would appear to whisk them all to safety and banish the death eaters back to their horrid master. Still, they would come.

Even with that beacon of light in a storm of fog, Lily Evans was frozen. For in front of her were her worst nightmares all over again. Her feet were cemented to the slick grass and her breathing became rapid to the point where she almost passed out. Her mind didn't comprehend the situation; she was lucky she didn't die in those moments of immobility. It was just like in the car ride up to the Potter's everything was rushing back, but this time it was real. The spells, the screams, and the pain…it was all rearing its head in her face.

Everywhere her green eyes lingered lay a horrible manifestation of her nightmares. The death eaters were amazingly numerous and the amount of them seemed unending. Lily wouldn't be surprised if the ratio was four to one, almost surely signaling a victory for the wrong side.

She could see James a few feet ahead of her pointing a small family to the only apparition point while shooting stunners at unsuspecting death eaters. Remus was battling close to the boy with a fierce look in his eyes. Sirius on the other hand was tugging at her arm, trying to pull her away from the terrifying scene of torture and injustice. His pleas were almost screams and his hands were shaking.

"Lily! Lily you need to get out of here, Lily! NOW!" he yelled frantically.

She shook her head vaguely. Seemingly out of nowhere a shot of red energy whizzed past her ear, ruffling her matching hair. That's what made her snap out of her oblivious stupor.

Revenge. That was now the one thing on her mind at that moment. This was her chance. In front of her were the people who ruined her life, the people who ruthlessly ripped her happy family into pieces without a second thought. She could avenge them, her family, and now was her chance. Perhaps even her _only_ chance.

Her wand was instantly whipped out of her dress' pocket and the magic coursing through her matched that of when Snape confronted her, but this time it was magnified by ten. The crackling air around her was even the same. She could do anything with a simple flick of the wrist and mumble of words. She felt powerful. Was this how Dumbledore felt when he battled Grindelwald?

##########

Sirius watched as Lily's limbs stopped all movement at the sight of the death eaters appearing on the dew dropped grass. The color rushed from her face as if being drained by some unknown source of power. That's when she started shaking. It was like an earthquake was commencing in that little patch of grass beneath her feet. But maybe this earthquake stretched farther then that for he realized that he was shaking as much as Lily was, if not more.

The sight of her blood on the snow flashed into his mind in a grotesquely vivid picture and he knew that he needed to save this girl because she couldn't do anything by herself right then. If she wasn't going to move she would surely be blasted from the spot she stood.

He tried dragging her away, but her resistance was amazing and surprised him greatly. It gave him an idea of how utterly filled with trepidation she actually was. But then something must have snapped in her. Something must have appeared in her mind. He could literally see the flash of anger flicker over her green eyes making them cold and hard. No, he realized, it wasn't anger at all. It was hatred, hatred for the people who were hurting her from the inside and hurting everyone else on the outside. Those eyes weren't the green, sparkly orbs he grew to expect

Sirius jumped back in shock when he felt the sudden current of the electricity surrounding Lily. Was that even possible? Was a wizard even able to expand their magic to outside the wand? Lily Evans was truly brilliant and Sirius had known that for a very long time, but this was something different.

He watched in awe as she dueled with the ferocity to match that of any auror, yet somehow, Sirius thought that Lily was fighting differently then an auror would. He couldn't quite put his finger on it though. But of course he couldn't let his sister fight alone so he was quick to join her. Apart, they were intimidating, but together they were unbeatable. His confusion about Lily vanished as his mind queued in on the fight.

##########

James was set on rushing to Lily's aid before it was too late this time. He knew she could fend for herself for a while with Sirius so he took care of getting most of the families out like his father had always told him to do incase something like this happened. James wasn't entirely surprised actually. He knew that eventually death eaters would seek to bring harm upon his family and friends during one of their many parties. The opportunity was just too good for them to miss. Hundreds of unsuspecting people, some without wands, it was like a death eater feast.

His heart pounded every time he heard a curse fly. What if it was directed at Lily? What if she got hurt again before he could get to her like last time? He would have broken the promise to her that he would always be there. That's what made him finally run to her.

He was amazed at how well Sirius and Lily were fighting when he ran to help them defend his home. It was remarkable really how two people could inflict so much damage. Lily's spells were fired with rapid succession and rarely missed their mark. Sirius was a bit slower, but still made an impression. They certainly had a strong motive, but he had one too.

A minute into his dueling at the side of Lily, James realized something was wrong. The spaces surrounding her made him feel prickly and uncomfortable. It was the complete opposite of how he usually felt around her. And instead of feeling like she was fighting valiantly for a good cause, her power made him uneasy.

All his life James had been good at reading people. He was always able to tell when Sirius was lying or when Remus was hiding something. His judgment of character was well known and correct more often then it was wrong. This judgment made him understand that something wasn't right with Lily. She was starting to scare him. The sweet person who stood up for the rights of others seemed to have vanished and her fighting told him so.

He was finally convinced when she shot as spell he had never heard before. If it wasn't dark magic, he didn't know what was.

##########

Lily finally felt strong after all those months of struggling. She almost wanted Sirius and James to go and find a fight somewhere else so that she could show the world how strong she really was. This revenge, this hatred even, was like a fuel that she could burn off of. It was a never-ending supply and the amount added to her power seemed to build up with every spell.

Somewhere in the back of her mind was a little conscience getting drowned out by her new lust for power. It was trying to tell her that this was too much. That Lily Evans shouldn't act like this or something would go horribly wrong. That little voice was ignored without a chance to be heard.

Spell after spell flew from her wand in an amazing spectrum of colors like a laser light show. The words that came out of her mouth with each spell barely registered in her mind… until the last one.

"SECTUMSEMPRA!"

Lily watched as the man in front of her crumpled to the grass. Blood was pooling around him in a sick, horrid image. Her eyes widened in shock. Had she really said those words?

The voices of James and Sirius yelling spells stopped as they stared at the damage Lily had done. That man, death eater or not, could die from that spell. Lily, _their Lily_, did that.

Her eyes became foggy and black splotches were appearing. She felt lightheaded and wobbly. Then the world went black.

##########

"Lily? Lily wake up." A distant voice muttered.

The redheaded girl's eyes slowly fluttered open. She was in a white room the smelled of antiseptic. It was the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts and the voice was Sirius. He was sitting on her right while James was at her left clutching her hand.

"Do you remember anything?" Sirius asked hesitantly.

She thought for a moment and then it all came back like a ton of bricks. The death eaters, the want for revenge, that spell. Oh, that spell, that awful, horrible spell. She had sought to hurt others last night, something she had never wanted to do. She had almost killed that man! Actually, for all she knew she _did_ kill that man! She was a murderer!

The thought brought hot tears of regret to her eyes, they flowed down her face as rapidly as she had fired those spells. Lily's mind went into hysterics. She killed a living person! Took his life! She was no better then any of those death eaters that had killed her parents! For all she knew she could have killed some little girl's daddy! Her sobs increased in volume.

"Lily, shhh, it's okay. You're okay…he's okay too Lily, the aurors fixed him up before they took him away." James said hugging her to his body.

She pulled away from his embrace as if it hurt. She didn't deserve his comfort. So what if the man was okay! She still _could_ have killed him if the aurors didn't arrive when they did. She didn't deserve to be around people who were so _good_ and full of _light_.

"Sunshine, what's wrong?" Sirius asked. He reached his arm out to touch her arm.

"D-don't touch me, I could have killed him!" she sobbed into her hands.

"Lily, listen to me, you are not a bad person," James powerfully said.

"YES, I AM JAMES! YOU DON'T GET IT! I almost killed him! What if I got like that again! I could hurt you or Sirius or Remus or Marley or Alice or Peter!"

"No, you would NEVER hurt us Lily." James pleaded.

"How do you know that? How do you know t-that I won't go crazy again!"

"Lily, It's okay, you just weren't in the right frame of mind. You're still the same Sunshine." Sirius stated softly.

"No, Sirius, I'm no better then they are,"

"Lily,"

"JAMES, JUST LEAVE!" she yelled.

His face fell and he looked worried, as he should. What was wrong with his Lily? Did she really think herself a murderer? This was the girl who wouldn't transfigure her stick bug into a spoon in their fourth year because she was scared it would hurt the bug! He realized that he and Sirius would be the ones who needed to fix her.

##########

**Please Review!**

**-Sweets5236**


	23. Tears and Nightmares

**Edited: June 22, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This chapter is dedicated to Lucee who is my 100****th**** reviewer!**

**You rock!  
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Lily walked out of the Hospital Wing two days later with her head down and her eyes trained to the smooth floor. Her hair fell around her face like velvet curtains and her expression resembled that of a lost child.

Out the window the blue sky was starting to fade into a pretty shade of pale orange. Dinner must have already ended, that or it was just about to. The halls were empty, almost eerily so.

It took a very long time for Madame Pomfrey to convince Lily that she was healthy enough and in the right state of mind to leave the comfort of the Hospital Wing and return to the normal world. Every time the old nurse was close to saying that Lily was fine she would either burst into tears or convince her that she felt too light headed to leave.

Lily was scared to face the world again. All the students were now home from the holidays and classes had started up a day earlier. Alice and Marlene had brought her work the day before, but didn't even get to see their redheaded friend because she hadn't been allowing visitors. The two girls had just handed the work to Madame Pomfrey, who was the only one Lily would speak a word to, and left downcast.

The only people taking more of a toll on things then Alice and Marley were the Marauders. James and Sirius were the only ones who knew of Lily's previous feeling that she had killed her parents, but Remus and Peter were still deeply concerned even without the depressing back-story that deepened her problems.

Lily Evans was anything but a bad person though. She was the one to go to if you had any questions and she would happily answer with a smile and a point in the right direction. She was the one who made sure all the first years had a friend and kept those who didn't company when she could have been with her own friends. She was also the one who would visit the Hospital Wing after every Hogsmeade visit and bring candy to all the sick or injured kids who hadn't been able to go themselves. She made the school a brighter place. Being Head Girl, she had quite an influence on the population. Everyone at Hogwarts thought of her as brilliant and kind, everyone except herself that was.

How horrible it must be to think so lowly of yourself. To think that you're an evil and vile human being when, in fact, you're just the opposite. What one thinks of themselves impacts the way they act a hundred, maybe even a thousand, times more then how others think of them. It's like a strange placebo. If a girl were to think of herself as small minded and lacking in smarts, her grades would likely drop. Lily understood this and was quite at war with herself over the fact. Would she become even worse of a person with the thought that she was already a bad one?

The real problem was that Lily Evans never made mistakes. She was always as close as she could get to perfect and she strived very hard to be that way. That New Year's day she threw all her standards and cherished values out the window and let despair and anger bubble into overwhelming hatred.

Lily thought over all of these things as she walked to the Room of Requirement where she had decided she would stay. She figured that James wouldn't want to live with someone like her anymore. These thoughts confused her greatly, but she'd rather puzzle over questions then dwell on the facts at that moment.

She walked in front of a large, blank stonewall three times and sighed in defeat when a beautifully carved door appeared. Her thinking time would soon be over. She trudged in with her many problems weighing her down like a pile of books.

She saw exactly what she had imagined when she looked around the room. She wasn't surprised either, that was how the room worked you see. The room replicated that of her room in the Head's Dorm. The bed and hangings were the same, the bathroom was in the right spot, and her clothes were even in the drawers of a dresser.

The Room of Requirement was a magnificent space of magic. Completely breath-taking in every way it was. If you thought about it, you'd understand that the room could be used for astounding things, both for good and evil. Its boundaries went so far that it seemed to have none. Like a line that stretched across the world, you couldn't see the end, but you knew there was one somewhere. The boundaries were only the obvious, it couldn't say, cure lycanthropy or create something as dark as a horcrux.

After running and jumping onto the bed (causing the pillows to bounce and blankets to ruffle) as she always did when she was a child, Lily closed her eyes.

Within seconds she had fallen into a world where she didn't have to worry about hurting anyone and her parents were always there when she woke up. There was also something else to that dream though. James always carried her up to her bed at night and left with a kiss.

##########

James couldn't help but panic when Madame Pomfrey told him that Lily had left hours ago. His limbs got shaky as if he was on a sugar high and his eyes darted all over the place as if he would see her hidden in some corner. Where would she be? She obviously hadn't gone back to their dorm and she wasn't with her friends either. He decided that he would need a bit of help if he were to search the castle from top to bottom like he wished.

He ran into the Gryffindor common room and jumped up onto a table. Several girls wolf whistled, but they were ignored because only one girl was on his mind at the moment.

"ATTENTION GRYFFINDORS! ATTETNION!" he yelled. All heads turned and the room went silent, "LILY EVANS, HEAD GIRL, IS MISSING! I REPEAT LILY EVANS IS MISSING! ALL WILLING TO PARTICAPE IN A SEARCH PARTY PLEASE GATHER ROUND, ANYONE ELSE BETTER SCRAM!"

Several kids chuckled, not realizing the urgency of the situation. Most just assumed that James was exaggerating and Lily was merely avoiding him because he was bugging her about his "undying love" or something of that manner. Half the room cleared leaving the Marauders, Alice, Marlene, Frank Longbottom, and several first years including little Annabelle.

"Okay, first I'd like to thank you all for the time you are so willingly donating," he started in a formal manner, a few first years giggled, "Here's the plan. Half the first years have the first floor and half have the second. Sirius, you have the dungeons…no hexing Slytherins for fun either. Remus you have the third floor, Peter the fourth, Frank the fifth, Alice and Marlene get the sixth floor and I'll take care of the seventh. Meet back here in an hour with any news." He said almost too quickly for them to comprehend.

They nodded in agreement and walked out the portrait hole with purpose in their steps. They were men on a mission…almost; there were a few girls too. The only one who stayed back was Sirius, but James expected nothing less.

"What do you mean she's missing?" he hissed.

"Pomfrey let her out hours ago and I haven't seen her." James said frantically.

He was obviously itching to run out the door in search of her. Who knew what would happen in the time he was speaking to Sirius!

"Prongs…you don't think she'd…I don't know…do you think she's okay?"

"I have no idea, but we'd better hope so,"

Sirius nodded. Yes, hope. That was what he needed, that was what they all needed in times like these. They'd likely go insane without it and the world already had too many crazy people.

Sirius jogged out the door with James close on his tails. They turned towards the staircase to their separate floors with waves of the hand, desperately hoping that Lily was okay.

##########

It was too bad that Lily wasn't good at staying in one spot for too long because she definitely preferred to have stayed in the Room of Requirement. She felt groggy and unaware of what was happening around her. It was the fault of that silly nap she had tried to take.

Five minutes into her slumber she awoke breathing heavily with beads of sweat running down her forehead. It was the same thing that had been keeping her up for the past two nights. The image of the man surrounded in a pool of blood still flashed in front of her eyelids every time she blinked.

Her fingers fluttered across the long, skinny scar on her ribcage. _He_ must have one too.

Lily turned a corner and experienced a horrible sense of deja vu after colliding head on with someone turning the same corner. Her hand clutched her side just like it did that night. She collided with the same person she had that night too. When she realized it she wanted to turn around and run away, but his hand was tightly clutching her upper arm so there would be no chance to do that.

He dragged her behind a ragged tapestry as soon as her struggling subsided. The space was small and compact, a bit claustrophobic actually.

"Lily, are you okay?" James asked trying to look her in the eye. That was almost impossible since her head was facing the floor.

"I'm fine," she muttered softly.

James frowned and tilted her chin up so that she would look at him. She struggled a bit but froze as soon as their eyes met.

"That's the thing Flower, I don't think you are," he whispered.

"No, not really," she said just as quietly.

Lily's eyes became shiny with tears, they reddened around the edges and her knees became a little wobbly. James pressed her head tightly to his chest as her tears started to fall as they did so many times that year. Her thin, but long arms circled his middle and she held on as if he were her lifeline.

He held her back with one arm and stroked her hair with the other. Her fiery strands were tangled and knotted so he ran his fingers through them, undoing each little imperfection one at a time. He could feel his shirt getting soaked by her tears, but he paid no mind because she needed him.

They stood like that for what felt like an eternity and once her tears stopped, James slid down the wall to sit on the floor. She came down with him and he gathered her into his lap and continued to play with her her hair. The silence was almost unnerving so James decided to break it.

"Where were you, Flower?" he asked.

She nuzzled further into him and sighed.

"The Room of Requirement…I couldn't face them…I couldn't face _you,_"

"Why not?"

"Because I didn't want to hurt you," she sniffled, "I was so scared,"

"But why would you hurt us?"

"If I hurt that man, why couldn't I hurt you," she said looking up at him. Her big green eyes made his insides melt.

"He was a death eater,"

"But he was still a person, James! You don't get it!" she snapped

"I know…I _don't _get it, maybe you can tell me what it is I don't understand."

"I wanted to hurt him James. A lot. I thought that he could have murdered my parents…I didn't even know and I still wanted to hurt him. I'm no better then all those death eaters were. I felt…powerful, it felt good and that really scares me," she whispered.

James nodded against her head and closed his eyes. What she said made sense, but just because it happened once didn't mean she was an awful person. It would take time for her to understand.

"How about we go back to the dorm and you can sleep." He said after a moment of contemplation. She nodded.

James stood and pulled her up by her hand. The walked through the halls of the seventh floor in silence, but that was fine.

Once they got the Head's dorm Lily gave a quick 'thank you' and walked up to her room. As soon as James was sure she was gone he pulled out his mirror.

"Sirius?" he whispered into it. The face of his friend appeared.

"Did you find her?" he asked hopefully. James nodded.

"Okay, I'm on my way"

"Wait, Padfoot, just give her some space for a few days okay? You can see her in class tomorrow, she's having a hard time,"

"Is she going to be okay?" Sirius asked. James thought this over for a second.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Take care of her okay, Prongs?"

"Of course, good night."

"Yeah, good night."

##########

Lily once again woke up in tears. It was the same nightmare, over and over again. She looked out the window to find solace in the moon, but found it covered in smoky grey clouds. She shivered. The screams of the guests at the Potter's ball still echoed in her ears. There was no way she was going to be able to get any sleep.

Slowly she slid out of bed and held onto her dresser for support. The world spun as the blood rushed to her head.

Once she regained her balance she hesitantly walked out the door and down the stairs. She wasn't' sure if what she was doing was very smart…but it would be the only way she could catch the sleep she needed to function the next day in class. The fire was distinguished and the coals glowed an eerie red. She shivered again; the color resembled that of a stunner.

Shaking her head she made her way up the stairs to James's room and opened the door wide enough for her to slip in. James barely stirred.

She walked over to his bed and slid under the covers, nuzzling close to him while doing so. Lily jumped a bit when he opened his hazel eyes and his hand grasped hers.

"Are you okay?" he whispered. She nodded.

"I had a nightmare,"

"You can stay here,"

"Thank you," she replied.

He nodded with a little smile and closed his eyes. His hand left hers but then draped itself over her, pulling her closer and holding her tight. She breathed in his scent…it reminded her of hot chocolate and cinnamon. That idea struck something in her. Amortentia. She smiled and buried her head in his chest. He would keep her safe.

##########

**Please tell me what you think. Oh and just so you know, Lily will go through a few more chapters feeling crappy about herself, this isn't the end of that. And no, James and Lily aren't "together" yet no matter how much it might seem like they are in this chapter.**

**-Sweets5236 **


	24. Pudding and Cinderella

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

##########

James woke with a mouthful of red hair. Lily's hair, he realized. He remembered how she had crawled into his bed last night and smiled. He felt truly happy. His worries and fears seemed to wash away at the sight of the redheaded girl curled up beside him. That was how he wanted to wake up every day. Putting all other sentimental thoughts aside, he turned and looked at his clock, it was 7:30, the same time he woke up every day.

They had an hour to get ready and go down to breakfast. Knowing this, James softly shook Lily awake. Her eyes fluttered and her arms automatically stretched and wacked him in the face.

"Ow" he said rubbing his nose and grinning.

"Whoops," Lily replied, a ghost of a smile flashed across her face for a second and her eyes regained their usual twinkle for the same small amount of time. It was a start.

"Want to go get ready and meet me downstairs in half an hour?" he asked while twirling a lock of her hair around his finger.

Lily nodded sleepily and climbed out of the soft bed in a daze, leaving James a bit cold. Her scent was still on his pillow and it made him grin like a lovesick schoolboy. Yawning, he also stood and made his way to his bathroom to shower.

##########

Lily grimaced as her and James walked into the Great Hall. She had forgotten how loud it was. All the students were talking, screaming, laughing, or throwing food at each other. It was pure chaos and made her head pulse with a newly formed headache.

She froze for a minute and looked down at the Gryffindor table. Alice, Marley, and three of the four Marauders were in their usual seats and didn't seem to have noticed her and James standing awkwardly in the Great Hall's entrance. They were laughing about something Remus had said and looked so incredibly normal that it almost hurt. It was what she preferred though. Surely Sirius told them what happened…they wouldn't want to sit with her.

She spun on her heels and strode back into the hallway without another thought. James grabbed her hand before she could get too far.

"Where're you going?" he asked searching her now dull green eyes. She shrugged.

"Kitchens, I guess…it's too loud," she said softly while looking at the floor.

James's heart sunk at how utterly lost and confused she looked. She shouldn't have had to go through all the things that had happened to her. It was enough to make any sane person go crazy. But that spark in her eyes that he had seen that morning told him that she would be able to heal. It would take time, yes, but it would happen eventually and that was as good as anything.

Sighing he followed her down the long twists and turns that would take them to the Hogwarts kitchens, her hand still firmly gripped in his.

After tickling the pear they both walked into the gigantic kitchen. Many house elves bustling about making food for breakfast greeted them, a good portion of them squeaked quick "good mornings". A particularly interesting elf with florescent pink socks and a high squeaky voice asked them if they'd like anything.

Lily only wished for chocolate pudding and a glass of milk while James went for something a bit more "robust". A large plate of bacon, sausage, and fried eggs was set beside him in minutes.

He looked over to Lily's strange serving of pudding and piled some bacon by her side. She had jumped up to sit on the edge of the table and James wondered what her childhood was like. The thought jumped into his head at the sight of her swinging her legs back and forth like any kid would do.

He hopped up next to her and scowled when she pushed the bacon back at him. She was holding her stomach and her face was full of distaste.

"I think I'll stick with my pudding." She said shaking her head quickly.

"Nu huh, if you don't eat at least two pieces of that bacon I'll keep you here for as long as I have too." James replied crossing his arms firmly. Lily frowned.

"Why?" she whined.

"Because you're a stick."

"Am not!" she exclaimed.

"Are too, now eat your bacon." He said sternly.

"Okay, _mom_." She mumbled while nibbling on the thin strip of greasy, fried bacon.

James smiled triumphantly. He quirked an eyebrow when she scooped a large helping of chocolate pudding into her mouth once the piece was finished.

"What's with the pudding anyway?" he said through a mouthful of egg. She grimaced at his bad manners.

"Comfort food, I guess." She said shrugging while stirring her spoon though the sugary food she had chosen.

"Why pudding?" he asked as he thought of his own comfort food, chocolate ice cream.

Sirius always made fun of him because his comfort food was "girly and pathetic", but James didn't mind because Sirius's comfort food was just as "girly and pathetic" if not exactly the same (vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce).

"My sister and I…we used to sit up in the tree in our front yard and eat pudding when we were little." she said with a wistful grin, her eyes were lost and staring at some far off point, "We'd pull a whole crate of it up into that tree and my dad thought he was going crazy when he would look for a pudding and find that it had all disappeared the day after it was bought…of course he never thought to look in the tree, but it was always there."

James grasped her hand and smiled encouragingly. A flutter ran through Lily at the contact. She looked down at her watch and her face fell. Class would be starting in ten minutes.

She hopped off the table, still holding James's hand, and sighed. She wasn't ready to join the real world yet.

"Don't worry, I'll be right behind you the whole time." James said softly at her obvious distress. He squeezed her hand and pulled her out the door.

It would be a rough day for the both of them. It would be hard for Lily because she would be confused and conflicted. She'd be thrown into something "normal" and it would cause her to struggle. Being around so many people might intimidate her a bit too.

For James he wouldn't enjoy the day because he'd have to watch Lily suffer through it all.

##########

"…And they lived happily ever after." Lily finished, closing the book with a soft "thump".

"A bit gruesome wasn't it?" James asked.

"Some people would do anything or true love,"

"But they didn't even really know him!" he exclaimed angrily. Lily though it was cute that he was getting so worked up over it.

"I didn't write the story!" she replied.

"Oh, right, sorry." He said with the slightest hint of a blush.

They were sitting side by side in the Room of Requirement. The space was a giant library, a creation only Lily could think up. She decided she'd read "Cinderella" to James to occupy their time.

He frowned at the cruelness of Cinderella's stepmother and stepsisters and grinned when the fairy godmother appeared.

"I guess muggles know more about us then we thought!" he had said.

He also flinched when the evil stepsisters cut off their toes or the heel of their foot to fit into the tiny glass slipper. James thought that was barbaric. Lily decided she shouldn't have read him the original version of the tale. Either way, it had been nice spending time with him and enveloping herself in the magical world that was "Cinderella".

Just as she had expected, the day had been awful. Whispers and meaningful glances were thrown at her in the halls. No one really knew what had happened to cause the cheerful Lily Evans to so suddenly turn grey and dreary, but the gossip chain was steadily growing because of it. The worst part were the looks she got from her friends. They were all different and it messed with her head more then she cared for.

Alice's look was so pitiful it made Lily wish to cry, Marlene's stare was rock hard and unreadable, Peter wouldn't look her in the eye at all, and Remus just smiled uneasily.

Sirius was the only one who was different though. He acted completely normal actually. His undying humor was just that, undead. It was still there at full force and his bark like laugh was as familiar as always. Whenever Lily caught his eye, he smiled warmly and then raised his eyebrows. She would then shrug her shoulders…a silent response to the raised eyebrows, which was his ways of asking, "are you okay?" . He would respond by nodding his head and smiling in understanding, as if it was okay that she was unsure.

Sirius's silent inquiries and James's constant present were the only things getting her through the day. James was always by her side in the hallways, waiting outside the girl's bathroom, or sitting beside her in class. It was something that confused the population of Hogwarts even further. But, neither James nor Lily minded.

At the end of classes that day and before she went to the Room of Requirement with James, Lily found herself being pulled into an empty classroom. She had been on her way to meet James as he came back from Muggle Studies, the only class they didn't have together.

It was Sirius who had dragged her in and the first thing he did was engulf her in a large hug. This sent her to tears. He rubbed her back soothingly and murmured words of comfort. A silent understanding had come between them. This was Sirius's way of showing he was still there for her.

"Sirius…am I a bad person?" she sniffled into his shoulder.

He pulled back and frowned. He then continued to say the most insightful thing Lily had ever heard come from his mouth.

"I want you to listen to me very carefully, Lily. You are not a bad person. You're a very good person who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and bad people. We've all got both Light and Dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are and Lily, you are one of the most pure people I know…completely full of Light."

"But, I almost killed that man!"

"Yes, but Lily, this just proves my point! You _regret_ it and that's all that matters. The Light in you hasn't gone out." He pulled her into another hug and left her to ponder the meaning of his words.

#########

"Lily?" James asked as she started to doze off on his shoulder a few minutes after they finished reading "Cinderella".

"Yes?" she responded behind closed lids.

"Will you talk to me?"

She sat up and looked at him, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Tell me what you've been thinking…what's on your mind. I want to help you." He said softly. She sighed, there was no way getting around it and maybe it _would_ help.

"Have…have you ever felt alone, James? Like truly alone?" she asked.

"Lils, you aren't alone,"

"No James, I'm asking you." She cut in almost harshly.

"I don't know, Lily, maybe, what's this about?"

"Shhh, let me talk. I felt alone when my parents died because I didn't know anyone else who was in the same situation or felt like I did. When I became friends with Sirius, I felt a little bit better, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, but some of it was still there.

When I found out about the memory charm, I sunk further into that pit of loneliness, but that time there was no one to help reel me out, even if only a little bit. It got worse when I felt all that power, when I hurt that man. I am so alone that it hurts physically. I am the only one who had been through all that I had and I can't _stand_ it," Her voice was burning with passion and tears ran down her face and dripped off her nose. She continued,

"Then there's that other type of _alone_, the worst one. I feel like no one _loves_ me," she said as her voice cracked and her shoulders shuddered involuntarily.

"Lily," James started hugging her to him.

His heart was broken, almost beyond repair. Did she really think that? Had he not already proven his love for her? Had he done something wrong? He understood that Lily was alone in some of those ways. It was awful, yes, but she wasn't, under any circumstances, alone in that way.

"No James, be quiet," she shushed, "I have brilliant, wonderful friends who, who'd do _anything_ for me, b-but, no one who _loves_ me. Not really. My mum and daddy, they were the ones who _did_ love me…for real. They made me feel that too. And now they're gone." She sobbed into her hands, but she wasn't finished,

"When I hurt that man, almost killed him, death eater or not, I felt like I threw every bit of love my parents had for me out the window. They don't love me anymore because I know that they were watching me somehow. Why would they love their daughter when she could potentially be a _murderer_?"

"Lily, Lily look at me!" James said shaking her shoulder lightly and turning her to face him.

"I don't want you to _ever_ say that again, do you understand? _Never._" He was almost shouting the words.

Lily bowed her head, but James pushed it back up with his hand. His hazel eyes seemed to be burning a hole into her, that or trying to read her mind. They were calculating and widened in shock.

They sat there in silence, just looking into each other's eyes for the longest time. Neither made any move to do otherwise. It was like silent showdown, both challenging the other to either a) look away or b) say something. James gave in first and what he said made the words echo in Lily's ears.

"Lily, _I_ love you."

It was so soft that she was barely able to understand him. But she did, and it made her sobs return. He had fooled himself into thinking that, as much as Lily wished it to be true, she would have to tell him otherwise.

"No James, I don't think you do!" she cried

"What makes you think that, Lily! TELL ME WHAT!" he yelled jumping off the couch in a rage.

His hands trembled at his side and his face was red with fury. Why didn't Lily believe that he could love her? What was making her not understand that his intensions were pure and truthful? He got his answer.

"ISN'T IT OBVIOUS!" she screamed also jumping up. "I'M JUST YOUR PITY CASE, POTTER, NO MATTER HOW MUCH I DON'T WANT TO ADMIT IT!" her voice then dropped dangerously quieter, almost a whisper, "I've pushed it to the farthest corner of my mind, but no matter how hard I tried it always popped back up. Just _admit _it, James, before you break my heart even farther."

In three large strides, James was right in front of her and Lily flinched back thinking he was going to hit her. What he did caught her off guard.

Wrapping one arm around Lily's waist and pressing one against the back of her neck James leaned down and smashed his lips against hers, moving in a frenzy.

Lily dumbly stood there, not pulling moving away, but not responding. It took several seconds for her to comprehend what was happening and finally kiss him back.

Built up tension was being released into it. Their lips molded together like a puzzle piece. It was nothing like the soft kiss James had given her over Christmas break. This one gave her weak and wobbly knees and a limited supply of air.

Pulling back the two sucked in the needed oxygen and went in for another. Lily curled her fingers around that messy black hair she loved and let her conscience wander far away so she could focus on _him_. James pulled back again, looking down into her eyes.

"I love you, Lily Evans."

This time she believed him.

##########

**Ta-da! Ya'll got that kiss you've been begging me for :). I'm sorry if it wasn't up to your standards…considering I'm only thirteen and can't even **_**date**_** until I'm sixteen, I don't have much (I don't have any actually) experience haha. PLEASE REVIEW!**

**-Sweets5236**


	25. Lists and Things I've Never Done

**Edited: June 22, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

"I love you, Lily Evans."

He had said he loved her. He loved that broken, redheaded girl of seventeen. Despite her numerous flaws and her too-many-to-name problems, he loved her.

Standing there in the Room of Requirement in each other's arms the two were themselves. For the first time in ages they felt relatively normal and free of worries. Finally.

She was the do-good perfection striver while he was the excel-without-trying prankster. She was quite, but often had a roaring anger while he was loud, but had a soft side. She had red hair, he messy black. She had green eyes while he had hazel. No matter how different they were, he still loved her and maybe, just maybe, she loved him back, only time would tell.

##########

The look on Sirius's face as Lily and James sat down next to the rest of the Marauder's the next morning was one of pure joy. No, he didn't yet realize that, dare Lily say it, the two were _dating_. His joy was brought from the bit of color that had returned to Lily's forever pale face and her nicely groomed hair that was far from the rat's nest it had been in the days previous. It was also the small upturn of her lips that suggested the smile she used to wear. That brilliant sparkle of white teeth she had always shown to the world hadn't yet returned, but it was progress and progress was better then nothing.

Sirius's good mood lasted all through breakfast. His bark-like laughter mingled with the clattering of silverware at every possible moment, whether the moment was funny or not. His high spirits made even Lily's mood rise and she came to an enlightening realization that gave her an ounce more of hope.

That was how Sirius handled things. He didn't mope until the trial he was facing was overcome, he stationed small parts of the trial to battle one at a time. Milestones, if you will. Every time one of his milestones was passed or completed he would celebrate, in this case grant Hogwarts with a light spirit and temporarily permanent smile, and then move to the next milestone. It was genius really and Lily suspected he didn't even realize what he was doing.

Lily also realized that this method would be absolutely perfect for her. Every time she's come close to jumping over an obstacle she's jumped only slightly too low. In one large attempt, she would never get anywhere. In several tiny steps she could eliminate her worries.

Lily gave off a genuine smile for the second time since the death eaters had attacked the Potter's house. The first had been after James had kissed her. James…and Sirius too, they would be the ones she could trust to help her with this. It could only be done together.

##########

"We need to make a list is what your saying, right?" James had asked once Lily mentioned her plan after classes that day.

They were back in the Room of Requirement, but they had a new addition to their stakeout of sorts. Sirius had decided he was going to follow the two around all day so he was currently sitting in one of the plush chairs that occupied the room. She hadn't told either of the boys that Sirius inspired her answer, but that didn't matter.

"Yes, exactly" she replied with a nod.

Lily's thoughts were flying through her head as she stared at some random book title on the wall. Ideas of things to add to the list, flashes of the death eaters she fought, a grotesque image of the man she almost killed, and both of the times she had kissed James were among the flurry that was her train of thought.

"Okay, so step one," Sirius started, letting his voice fade at the end to signal that he didn't know what "step one" should be.

"Get Lily to understand that we're here for her, always," James finished after a moment of thought. He jotted it down on a piece of parchment and Lily nodded in response. "Step two," he continued.

"Get you back onto a schedule so that you'll have a routine to rely on," Sirius said looking at her, a nod was once again given.

James and Sirius shared a look at Lily's silent responses and intense concentration on the wall. Sirius shrugged his shoulders and walked over to the seat next to Lily and plopped down. James took the seat on her other side and clasped onto her hand, smoothing it out and fiddling with her thin fingers.

Sirius had a vague suspicion that something was going on between them, but decided to let it slide until they decided to tell him themselves. Of course even the thought of Lily being with James made his mood brighten even further, which had previously seemed impossible.

"Step three," he started.

"Convince you that you're not a bad person," James said tilting Lily's head to look into her eyes.

They were sparkled with tears and her eyelashes were wet. He scooped her up and held her in his lap while Sirius took the seat she had previously occupied and looked at James with worry. Lily wasn't crying, but she was close to it and her head was buried into James shoulder as if she was shutting out the world.

"How about we take a break?" Sirius asked after a long, awkward silence.

Lily lifted her head off of James's shoulder, moved her hair out of her face, and blinked a few times to get the almost-tears out of her eyes.

"Good idea, Sirius." She said with a curt nod.

"Let's play a game," James said grinning.

Lily squeezed her eyes shut and a jar of pennies appeared on the floor. She smirked at James and Sirius's confused looks while trying to compose herself. Sliding off James's lap she took the jar and dumped its contents onto the floor. Sirius picked one up and rubbed it between his fingers.

"Shiny," he said to Lily's quiet and almost forced laugh in the background.

"They're pennies, American muggles use them for money, but they aren't worth much," she said sifting through them with her fingers, scrutinizing each one individually.

"What're we going to do with them?" asked James, obviously confused.

"We're going to play Never Have I Ever. One person says something along the lines of 'never have I ever snuck into Hogsmeade' and everyone that has, has to put a penny in their pile. The person who has the most pennies at the end of the game loses while the person who has the least wins."

"What about the person in the middle?" childishly asked Sirius.

"They're just stuck in the middle," Lily said shrugging.

"Well I'm game" James said sitting next to Lily on the floor. Sirius sat across from them.

"I'll start," said Lily, "Never have I ever snuck into a girls' dorm." She finished with a smirk.

James shook his head as Sirius collected a penny from the pile with a grin. Lily motioned for James to go next.

"Never have I ever spent over three hours studying."

Lily smoothed out her skirt and grabbed her own penny. Her eyes almost sparkled like they used to. Almost.

"Never have I ever kissed a Marauder," Sirius said.

"I should hope not," James said chuckling.

Sirius's grin grew wider when he saw Lily grab a penny with a crimson blush.

"Which one was it, Sunshine?" he asked.

"You mean, which _ones_." James said with a laugh at Sirius's eagerness to figure it out.

Lily gaped for a second. She didn't think Remus would have told James of their kiss in second year. Apparently she was wrong.

"You kissed more then one Marauder!" Sirius exclaimed in Lily's direction. She discreetly nodded. "Who!"

Lily mumbled something incoherent and Sirius leaned in to hear better.

"Who was it!" he once again questioned.

"Remus and James, okay!" she almost yelled with the blush still present.

"Oh right…I was pretty sure you didn't kiss Peter and you _obviously_ didn't kiss me. I can't help but feel a little left out though." He said with an exaggerated pout.

Lily leaned over and pecked him on the cheek to the surprise of the two boys. Sirius smiled widely and James chuckled uncomfortably.

"I guess we should both take a penny then, huh, Prongs? Lily _is_ the fifth marauder."

James smiled at Sirius' mention that Lily was one of them now. He nodded and grabbed a penny

"Never have I ever gotten a detention," Lily quickly said.

Both boys grabbed a penny once again. Sirius eyed James's two copper coins and looked to his and Lily's three. He looked at her and nodded his head towards James's pile. She nodded back in response. James was going to lose and they'd make sure of it.

"Never have I ever tripped and fell on my face because I accidently jinxed myself," James said.

Sirius scowled at his friend and snatched another penny.

"Never have I ever sung in the shower," he said smugly after he was done pouting.

James grabbed a penny and Lily's lips upturned a bit. She always woke up to James belting out tunes while he was in the shower across the common room. Sometimes she couldn't help but giggle whenever a Celestina Warbeck song was heard in his deep voice.

"Never have I ever fallen off my broom because the person I liked walked by," she said.

James grabbed another penny and Lily squeezed his hand with an exaggerated smile. He smiled back and kept her hand in his. After giving Lily a quick kiss on the forehead he gave his statement. Sirius smiled at the exchange. Something was _definitely _going on.

"Never have I ever had a sore back from carrying too many books," James said with a smirk.

Lily grabbed a penny. It was moments like these she wasn't very fond of books.

The game continued with as similar fashion for the next hour and James's pile of

pennies were piling up. He soon understood the motives of his best friend and the girl he loved and he sooner realized that winning was out of the question.

The American money was quickly out and James was the clear loser while Lily had won and Sirius was 'stuck in the middle'. The fun game had been full of smiles and laughs, all forced from Lily and all genuine from James and Sirius. But, a forced smile was better then none, James concluded. The game had ended just in time too for Remus walked in looking exhausted and practically collapsed onto the nearest chair.

"We've been looking everywhere for you guys!" he panted.

'We' was referring to him and Peter who was still searching the castle.

"Well you found us," Sirius said ruffling Remus' hair like he would a child.

"Are you okay, Lily?" Remus asked her with a small smile. She shrugged her shoulders in response.

"Wanna help us finish our list, Moony?" James asked standing up and sitting in a chair.

Lily got up to move to a chair too, but James grabbed her around the waist and plopped her onto his lap as she walked by.

"What list?" he asked confusedly, slightly confused as to why Lily wasn't complaining.

"Lily's list. We're going to help her be right as rain!" Sirius said with a grin.

"Sorry to burst your bubble Pads, but no one says 'right as rain' anymore." James replied with a roll of his eyes.

"Well I do, don't I count as someone?"

"Nah," said James to Lily's smile at the friends' banter.

"I'm making a few goals is all," Lily told Remus.

"We're on number four now,"

"Mind sharing what you already have?" Remus asked.

"One, get Lily to know we're always here for her and that we care about her." James started.

"Two, get her a steady schedule, and three convince her she isn't a bad person," Sirius finished with a nod.

Lily just stared silently at the floor while Remus expressed several of his ideas. Lily didn't really like them talking about how to "help" her as if she was some mental patient, but she couldn't do it on her own. She looked up when she heard Remus announce what four should be.

"Get her back in the open with her friends and the rest of the school. Back to her previous social point, you know?"

James looked at Lily expectantly, awaiting her answer. Lily ran the list of four things through her head. They seemed to be in a good order and were all things that need to be done. It would be tedious and she didn't really understand number three because she didn't wish to lie to herself. If she was a bad person that night, she could be one again and there's no convincing that she couldn't. She nodded anyway, too tired to do otherwise.

That night the four fell asleep in the Room of Requirement. Sirius splayed across his chair, his head tipped off the side, Remus squished into a compact position, and Lily snuggled into James's chest with his arms around her. She had no nightmares that night.

##########

**I hope you liked it :). This definitely wasn't one of my best chapters, but it's essential. Please review!**

**-Sweets5236**


	26. Pillows Fights and Werewolves

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

Lily woke up and stretched. Her hand connected with something hard and the thing grunted. It was James and apparently she had whacked him across the face twice now. He smiled down at her despite his rather rude awakening. That girl sure had a strong arm, but he didn't mind, as long as she was his.

Looking around the two realized they had all fallen asleep in the comfort of the Room of Requirement. Sirius was lying on the floor having fallen off his small chair and Remus was snuggling deeper into his pillow with every whistle like snore he gave off reminding Lily of "Sleepy" from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

It was a sight to behold. So amazingly normal and peaceful, it was. One would have never guessed what the two sleeping boys had been through. Lily decided she liked them best this way. They looked happy and several years younger in their sleep. It made Lily realize that they had to act like adults far too often.

Throwing a pillow at Sirius's sleeping form while she was at it, Lily reluctantly climbed off of James's comfortable lap, yawning all the while. She softly shook Remus awake to the groans of Sirius who was demanding to know who threw a pillow at his face and had awoken him from his "beauty sleep". Lily stifled a laugh and shook her head.

She turned around once Remus was awake and groggily rubbing his eyes to see Sirius aiming a pillow at her head with his tongue sticking out of his mouth. James was smirking behind him knowing that he wouldn't be able to hit Lily. He had been right too for Lily ducked seconds before the pillow hit its target. The only problem was that the pillow hit Remus who was standing behind her instead.

With a grin the sandy haired boy picked up the pillow that had hit him in the face and chucked it back at Sirius, who also ducked. The pillow hit James instead and once it did he had a look of determination on his face. No one should be around James Potter in a pillow fight because he was the _master_.

Lily giggled, as she understood what was about to happen, this was how all pillow fights started in her books. She was right too because moments later James chucked the pillow back at Remus who was hitting Sirius upside the head with his own pillow.

Pillows flew in every direction. Some were directed by magic while others exploded in a puff of feathers on impact. Lily had to admit that James looked cute with all those feathers in his messy hair.

While watching the three boys with a small smirk, Lily didn't notice the purple pillow that had been circling the room until it hit her in the gut and sent her toppling on top of Remus. She landed on his leg and smiled apologetically down at him. She then proceeded to grab the nearest pillow and whack him across the face before she stood.

James and Sirius took note of Lily's arrival in their war and were quick to once again knock her off her feet.

The fight continued on for almost an hour and towards the end James resorted to tickling Lily until she begged for mercy. Sirius and Remus on the other hand had been arguing over which pillows were better weapons, the large fluffy ones or the small hard ones. They proved their point by hitting each other with the desired pillow.

The laughter of the four friends filled the giant, magical, room until their sides were about to burst and their eyes watered. Feathers floated through the air without end and the couches and chairs were tipped over because at some point they were used as barricades.

Collapsing into a pile on the floor they all shared a special look. That was the most fun they had together since late October. It was now the start of February. When had their childhood turned into something so dark and dreary where a thing as trivial as a pillow fight was their only joy? They all knew the answer; it was when Voldemort came to power.

Lily sighed from her spot on the floor as she thought it all over. She was laying horizontally, her head rested on James's chest. His hands were playing with her silky red locks. Her feet were on top of Remus' who was laying the same direction as James. Sirius had his head lying on Lily's knees and his feet were up by Remus's face. The next question Lily had pertained to how they had gotten into such a random position.

While the question was as silly as the pillow fight had been, it gave her strength in a way that was really quite strange. Obviously they had fallen into such a comfortable tangle of limbs because they knew each other inside and out.

Sirius and Remus had known she'd be next to James so they had made sure she ended up by him. Lily knew Sirius despised laying his head on the floor because he thought it messed up his hair so she and stuck her legs out for him to lie on. But that was only after Remus, who knew Lily preferred to have her feet propped up had lain down so that she could use his own legs to do so.

With friends who knew her so well Lily figured she'd be able to fix herself quicker then she and previously thought. And what a wonderful thought that was. She closed her eyes and breathed it all in. It felt right.

##########

For a whole week James, Sirius, and Remus (and occasionally Peter, Marlene, and Alice) stuck to Lily like glue. In the halls and during classes at least two of the four Marauders stood on either side of her forming a "Lily Sandwich" as Sirius had joked. Lily _did_ like sandwiches so she didn't mind much.

At this point it was clear that Lily and James were together. This was based of the fact that his hand was constantly in hers and the kisses he pressed to her head whenever she flinched from loud noise or when someone touched her that wasn't a Marauder.

Sirius was ecstatic, almost more so then James had been. That was probably because he won fifteen galleons off of Remus. He also wished to be the best man and to have their first child named after him. Lily and James thrived in Sirius's enthusiasm, it was like their own personal TV show, but of course James didn't actually know what a TV was.

The school was abuzz with gossip at the new couple. It seemed that the Marauders and Lily had been the main topic of conversation all year, and this was an added bonus.

A silent and obviously traumatized Lily Evans was dating James Potter, was best friends with the Marauders, and hardly showed up for meals. Millions of outlandish stories flew around as to what had started this chain of events. Some said that James had cast the Imperius curse on Lily and that was why she was acting so funny. Other said that it wasn't actually Lily dating him but someone using Polyjuice to look like her and James was too love-struck to realize it.

While the Marauders either mocked or added to the ridiculous gossip chains for their own amusement, Lily ignored it wholeheartedly. Why should she care what they thought? Remus on the other hand seemed embarrassed by all the people who asked him whether James had slipped Lily a love potion or not.

Nevertheless, the first goal on Lily's list was coming along well and James, Sirius, and Remus were a permanent fixture in her life. They kept her stable in an ever-changing world. Now it was normal for her to crawl under the blankets set out on a couch in the Head 's common room instead of going to sleep in her room. James would always be in the next couch over and Sirius would always be splayed across a nearby chair and Remus would be curled up on the floor. The system worked for all them, until the full moon came that is.

It had started out as an average day of that time of the month. Remus was unbearably pale and looked worryingly ill. The word was spread around Gryffindor that he was going to visit his sick mother as he did every month. No one's had any suspicions as usual (beside a Mr. Severus Snape who had known of Remus's condition for almost a year now).

Lily tried to act a bit sunnier in order to boost Remus's spirits and lift his mood. He had told her how painful it was for him to transform and her heart ached each time he had to change into the werewolf. Sometimes the worst things happened to only the best people. Lily liked to think it was preparing them to do something brilliant with the world. Her logic was comforting and she tried to look to it a lot more often.

That night she knew something was wrong. Wrong in a way that she felt as if the Marauders were keeping something important from her. You see, Lily also had James's skill for reading people like an open book.

Sirius was babbling, something he never did unless he was nervous and James ruffled his hair every three seconds. Peter was the biggest give away because he kept on looking at her like she'd get mad at him any second. The way they were acting was wrong because they _never_ kept _anything_ from each other

She went to bed feeling jumpy and her stomach a bit queasy. What was going on? She drifted into a terribly uneasy sleep, ready to confront the four in the morning with her suspicions.

##########

The creak of the portrait hole woke Lily from her deep sleep. She shot up and frantically searched around the room, her wand clutched in her hand with a light glowing out the end. Looking to the portrait she saw James limping in with Sirius' arm draped over his shoulder. Lily looked to the clock on the wall. It was five in the morning and the sun was just starting to rise.

Looking James and Sirius over she saw a large gash on James's leg and Sirius's head was matted with partially dried blood. They looked exhausted and ready to collapse, she didn't even think Sirius was conscious. Being half asleep it took Lily several moments to process what was standing in front of her, but when it did her maternal instinct took over. But it was only after a rush of fear flew through her body and all her sense of safety drained out.

Images of death eaters, late night broom accidents, and of injuries gained from tripping down the stairs flashed through her head. None of those scenarios sounded very likely.

She jumped out of bed and helped James drag Sirius to the couch. They set him down and Lily went to work checking his vitals without a word. It was a good thing she had wanted to be a Healer during her first few Hogwarts years. Being Lily, she had studied up on the occupation extensively before deciding that it wasn't for her. James was out of breath and staggered into a chair. Peter was nowhere to be seen and Remus was obviously still at the Shrieking Shack, finishing his transformation.

Sirius was unconscious and as far as Lily could tell he had a mild concussion; she'd only be able to be sure once he woke up. After wrapping a bandage several times around his head and waving her wand to create a few stitches to fix the cut on his arm, Lily turned to James with an expectant look.

She was far too tired and stressed to release her fiery temper so she decided to let James talk it out. Her adrenaline level was high and the questions running around her head were equally high. She walked over to him and rolled up his pant leg so it came to his mid thigh. She looked the large cut over and then looked back up at him.

"You were with him, weren't you James." She whispered in a haunted voice. He nodded.

While Remus Lupin was one of the most kind and gentle people Lily had ever met, it didn't mean he was that docile as a werewolf. After the transformation their human minds disappeared and were replaced with that of the wolf. Even the scent of a human could set them off.

Lily couldn't help but wonder if her boyfriend and best friend were both werewolves now. Just the thought of it made her head pulse with a newly formed headache.

"Don't worry Lils, we're okay," he said helplessly.

"Don't worry? That's what you have to say, don't worry? James! You were running around with a werewolf! HOW CAN I NOT WORRY!" she said.

He winced at her raised voice, but also at the tightness of the bandage she was wrapping around his newly stitched up leg.

"No, Lily," he started.

"I thought I could trust you to be the smart one James! Maybe I'd expect this from Sirius or Peter, but not you! Do you know how incredibly idiotic that is? Do you know the consequences of getting bitten?" she exclaimed.

Then James blurted something that really surprised her and changed her perspective around.

"We're animagi! All of us, Lily." He trailed off at the end.

"What?" she said her eyes watering with partial relief.

The bite of a werewolf changed humans, but it would have no lasting affect on animals. Since becoming an animagus was such advanced magic, the idea of using it to accompany the full-moon animal had never been considered. It was incredibly clever though and as good as James was at Transfiguration, Lily still couldn't believe that the three boys had accomplished it.

There was still the fact that he had kept this from her all these months, but all that mattered now was that he was safe. He motioned for her to step into his open arms. Snuggled in his embrace she expressed her thoughts.

"I thought I was going to lose you James…both of you." She sniffled.

"I'm so sorry, Lily," he whispered in her ear before giving her a small kiss on the lips.

A burst of warmth erupted at that small act of love and Lily melted even further into him. How one person could be so selfless she didn't know. James gave his all to help her and along the way he had transformed into an animal every month to help his best friend. No matter how completely illegal it was, it was still outstanding.

"You're a wonderful person, James." She murmured before falling to sleep.

It's true that in that night Lily had been in a sleep induced haze and her reasoning and worries hadn't been half as bad as if she had been awake. James understood this fully and was grateful that it had happened when it did. Yet he couldn't help the shot of guilt that flowed through him. He should've realized he could've trusted Lily.

At that point he was positive that the first thing on their list was completed because in that short time their bond grew even stronger, but only just because it was already amazingly strong in the first place.

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**Please Review!**

**-Sweets5236**


	27. Peppermint and Roses

**Edited: June 26, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

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You know that amazing, incredible feeling you get when no one is watching you? When no one can see you or judge you or make you feel small. It's exhilarating with the notion that any second someone could walk in on you so you have to _live_ as quickly as possible. Some people go through each day anticipating that feeling, those moments.

Sometimes, if you're lucky, you'll catch someone living in their moment, when they don't know you're there, and it's beautiful…breathtaking and thrilling. Better then even doing it yourself. They can be _themselves _and they don't have to be anyone else. They can dance and sing and scream and cry at the world without feeling embarrassed in the slightest. They can feel _free_. They can fly.

That was all Lily wanted. She wanted to release the _her_ that was locked inside some crevice of her brain. She wanted the old _her_ back and so did those around her. She wanted to feel _free_.

Her life had turned into an endless loop once step two was put into action; she did the exact same thing everyday with the exact same people at the exact same times. It was certainly working too because she wanted to break out of it and be herself and that was the whole point of the step. Lily longed, no she _lived_ for the time when spontaneous moments and creativity would find its way back into her life. Eventually she figured out that she'd have to be the one to make that happen.

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"James?" Lily whispered, looking up from her homework timidly.

"Yes, Flower?" he replied not really paying attention.

The Marauders, Lily, Marlene, and Alice were all in the Head's common room doing schoolwork after dinner, as they did every school night, like clockwork.

"No, James, listen to me," she said more aggressively.

The heads of all those present shot up in eagerness. This bossy Lily was certainly new, yet it was also a hint at her old self. What she had to say was sure to be important. Her sentence hung in the air for several moments while James thought of the right way to respond. It was rather difficult though because he was so thrilled at the peek of the Lily he knew and loved.

Lily Evans was like a puzzle, complex and difficult to understand at times. When all her pieces were put together she was one of the brightest people in Hogwarts, but when they were mixed up she was stuck in a confused stupor that left them all sighing, yet rooting for the person who would once again solve the puzzle. This was because Lily was like a breath of fresh air. She was a ray of sunshine that made them all grow. She was even an umbrella in a storm. It may sound cheesy, yes, but it was the pure truth.

Sadly, she was a representation of those things only when her pieces were together, and James felt like one of them got put into place at the sound of her assertive "pay-attention-because-I-am-smart-enough-to-realize-you-aren't-listenting" voice. It was almost better then seeing her "Sirius-stop-eating-like-a-pig-and-embarrassing-us-all" look that she gave at lunch the day before.

Thinking his words out carefully James replied,

"Do you want to talk, Lily?" he turned to face her while speaking so that she knew she had their full attention.

"I think I'm…well I…ummmm"

"Come on Lily, you can talk to us," Remus softly voiced from the chair across from her.

"I know," she said blushing (which was also a sign of her getting better), "I just…don't really know how to say it is all,"

"Oh! I know, we can play charades and you can act it out!" yelled Sirius who thought it was the most brilliant idea ever.

Marlene and Alice held in their giggles but James and Remus were practically rolling on the floor with laughter.

"Even I know that is a stupid idea, Padfoot" said Peter as if it would make him sound smarter; Sirius just whacked him upside the head.

"Just tell us, Lils," James persisted.

He leaned over, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and grabbed her hand, rubbing his thumb in small circles on the back. The motion soothed Lily more then James knew and she instantly felt relaxed. Who needed hammocks on beaches when Lily had her own James Potter? She closed her eyes in bliss for a few moments before what she was trying to say came into her mind.

"I think I need some time…_alone_." She looked to the floor as if she was ashamed.

"Yeah sure, Lils, anything you want." James said.

Lily looked up at him imploringly. His hazel eyes showed no sign of betrayal or sadness. He was actually okay with it. Lily was scared of what her friends would say at her proclamation. She was terrified they would think that they weren't helping. Or that they'd think she didn't need them. She _did_ need them though. She would be a fish out of water without them. She just needed to be _herself_ and she could only do it alone.

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The next day Lily brushed her lips against James' cheek before whispering in his ear that she was going to the Room of Requirement. Without questions, James nodded and smiled a smile that made Lily want to melt like the Wicked Witch of the West. She smiled back and traveled with an "almost" bounce in her step.

As she came closer to the seventh floor she started to feel the opposite of claustrophobia. Everything looked too large and…_open_ without James and Sirius pressed to her side. He hand felt like an ice cube without James' in it and the air without Sirius's bark like laughter almost stung when she breathed it in. Surely she'd get lost in the giant castle without them.

Lily shook the ridiculous notion out of her head best she could. It was just the result of having them with her so often. That was all. She'd lived in the castle for almost seven years; she knew it like the back of her hand.

Still, she quickened her pace before Hogwarts swallowed her whole. The seventh floor corridor that contained the Room of Requirement thankfully appeared quicker then Lily anticipated.

She walked in front of the blank wall three times, thinking of a place that she could be _herself_ each time. A specific area was not in mind, but somehow she knew the room would give her what was best.

The room she entered once the door appeared made her clamp her hand to her mouth to stop the small sob that was about to escape her lips. It looked exactly as it had that summer. The same purple and lime green swirly bedspread, cream carpet, and million picture frames that had been there before. It was her room. The room she had grown up in that was surely ashes scattered in the wind by now.

Lily hesitantly brushed her fingers over the blanket on her bed, relishing the feel, the familiarity. Before she knew it she was climbing under the covers and breathing in the scent of _home_. All thoughts of Hogwarts waiting outside that door vanished. Instead the hopeful notions that a breakfast-making mother and newspaper-reading father were down the stairs to meet her instead.

Lily buried her head into _her_ pillow and a film-reel of memories played in her head. She remembered the times when Tuney had ran to her bed at her request and climbed under the covers with her sister because Lily had a nightmare. The scent of Petunia Evans (Dursley now) was _almost_ there. It was so close it hurt.

Another memory of the time Lily had accidently made it snow in her room when she was seven to beat the summer heat flashed before her mind. Lily had always had strong accidental magic and hadn't been surprised in the least. She shivered at the thought of the icy flakes falling on her nose.

Then, without realizing it, Lily started to hum an achingly familiar tune, one that made her limbs quiver under the covers of the bed. Her hum became words in a minute and a beautiful lullaby was formed.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me h-happy, when skies are gray," her voiced cracked with each word and her lip quivered a little more.

Her father had sung that song to her every night for as long as she could remember. As she had gotten older he had just hummed the slow melody as he told her goodnight, but the words had always stuck in her mind because it was _his_. Hundreds of people may know it, sing it as often as her dad did even, but it was still _his_.

"Y-you'll never know d-d-dear, how much I," she paused for a moment, not wanting to go on, she did anyway, "how much I l-l-love y-you,"

That's when the tears came. Those blasted drops of wetness that almost stung. It seemed that Lily had grown immune to their pain by now so she cried freely, not caring anymore that she was broken. She was living in her moment, there was no one to see her so she could be _herself_, do what _she_ wanted. She was free.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered through her tears, "so sorry,"

She was sorry that her and Tuney didn't get along. She was sorry that her parents had died. She was sorry that the Marauders had to feel like they couldn't leave her. She was sorry she hurt that man.

Her heart ached and her mind was frazzled, but then she felt something, maybe even smelt it. She felt a pair of arms encircle her, yet when she turned around no one was there. The comforting present stuck and made Lily quake with gratefulness. She smelt her father's peppermint mints that he always carried around and she smelt her mother's flower garden, her favorite roses lingering the longest.

Her tears stopped as quickly as they started and she closed her eyes and breathed in the scent. An instant clam settled over her, warming her to the bone and sending her head into a peace induced haze.

"M-mum? Daddy?" she asked looking up to the ceiling.

She knew the answer without hearing anything, the comforting arms she felt around her were enough and tears once again fell down her face. They were different from all the others though. They were tears of joy because she knew in that moment that her parents loved her. Lily Evans realized she wasn't a bad person because _they still loved her_. They were with her then, if only in spirit, and perhaps they hadn't ever left.

With that thought on her mind, Lily climbed out of the bed with a small smile on her face. Yes, she could still smell the peppermint and she walked out humming.

"Please don't take, my sunshine, away,"

The world was finally spinning again.

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**This chapter may be shorter then most, but it's officially my new favorite. I hope you love it as much as I do. Please review!**

**-Sweets5236**


	28. Aurors and Love

**Edited: June 26, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

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Lily strolled through the castle by herself for the first time in months. She had no more cares, no more worries or things to fret about. Her thoughts were silenced and the tune of "You Are my Sunshine" was stilled hummed under her breath. Her mind was free and opened to whatever thoughts may come and for once she wasn't scared of the idea. She instead embraced it whole-heartedly.

Yes, it was strange that she had suddenly snapped back to normal, but really, if you looked close enough, you could tell that it wasn't the case. She was eased into it more then one would expect, she just needed a push and she had gotten it. Her sorrow was still there and it always would be, but it was miniscule and unnoticeable. That still made all the difference.

Several students watched her with apt curiosity as she walked the halls. Was that really Lily Evans? Lily Evans by herself…with a smile on her face? Yes, it was and Lily's smile was bigger then it had been in a long time and rivaled that of a lovesick schoolgirl. In some ways Lily _was _a teenager that had been love-struck because now she knew that she could be with James without feeling like she was his pity case, for there was no longer a reason to pity her. Her sparkly grin was also so big because it felt good to smile; it felt good to let herself finally be _happy_.

Being happy was like living off of blue raspberry slurpees and drawing with ice on asphalt in the summer time. It was like getting an O on a particularly difficult Transfiguration essay or successfully teaching Sirius to correctly brew a potion. The satisfaction was immense.

Lily glanced out of a passing window. The sky was a cheery blue and the grass was her favorite shade of green. The tentacles of the giant squid were peaking out from under the murky lake waters and students freely roamed the grounds, basking in the sunlight and soaking in the golden rays.

Instead of flashbacks from the past, the thought of how beautiful it was outside popped into her mind like a popcorn kernel. Instead of the large green willow reminding her of the one that was surely burned down at her house, she thought of how she should memorize its shape because she wouldn't see again in that form once she left Hogwarts.

Leaving Hogwarts. That statement floated around in her mind and she tried it on for size. It was a bit intimidating, yet strangely welcoming. Hogwarts was her home, but leaving would bring her a new start, a fresh perspective. Lily realized that during her period of wallowing and feeling bad for herself that she had always focused on the present, only wishing to press forward and getting through everything small step by step.

She had not once thought of the future. Sure, when she was 3 she wished to be a fairy princess and at 7 she longed to be a ballerina. At 8 her dream became that of a brain surgeon…it was a bit ambitious for an 8 year old, but Lily had read up on it. At Hogwarts she wanted to become a professor in her first year and then a Healer in her second. Third was a blur and fourth through fifth she fancied being a journalist. She no longer wished to pursue any of those careers. Not having a plan could be dangerous.

That's when a word popped into her head. It was a scary word that almost brought back her previous fears. It was a pain-inflicting word that could turn her into the power-hungry monster she was on New Year's. _Auror_. Lily Evans wanted to be an auror and now she knew it. No, revenge was out of the question. That was not the reason.

She wanted to stop those horrible people from turning another little child into a Lily Evans who had their life wrecked and crumbling at their feet. She wanted to save them before it happened. Lily knew she'd never go power crazy again because she understood the consequences, a lot of good in the world could be done if everyone's motive was as strong as the one she had.

Aurors lived the tough life, always on the run, in hiding and hoping to see another day. Marriage was usually out of the question, they didn't want to risk the lives of the family they might have. The good guys always had the weakness of caring too much about others and not enough about themselves. Even the initial training was brutal and virtually impossible. 2 in 10 made it. No, an auror was something most didn't wish too be.

For Lily it was different though. A challenge was a challenge and she loved those. Whether the challenge was beating Marley in a race down the hallway or winning in an eating contest with Alice, she was up for it. Sure, becoming an auror was a step up from the petty competitions her and her friends had, but it just made it all the more thrilling and the mere idea of it pumped blood through her veins a little bit faster.

Lily rounded a corner, still swimming in her recognized ambition, and saw Sirius flirting up some girl. He was a suave as ever and even though his eyes held a bit of sadness (as did most people's) he was still the same annoying ladies man. Not caring about the girl, Lily let out a high-pitched squeal and launched herself at him. She was going to be okay, her _future_ was going to be okay, and of course she was insanely joyful.

Annoyed, the girl whom he had been talking to marched off and it took Sirius a moment to realize what girl had flung herself onto him. He was instantly relieved when he saw it was Lily because, frankly, it would be quite creepy if it was someone he didn't know.

Taking her shriek the wrong way, Sirius pulled away from her with a concerned look on his face.

"Sunshine, what's wron-" he stopped mid-sentence at the sight of her beaming expression.

"I'm okay Sirius, I'm going to be okay," she gushed.

"What?" Sirius asked, a bit confused at her enthusiasm, it was scaring him a bit.

"I-I realized something…I was being silly, it wasn't my fault. I'm ready to live again, to be _me_. I'm going to be okay."

She was practically glowing at her realization and her happiness was contagious. Sirius's face lit up and he barked out a laugh. Soon it became uncontrollable, picking her up and spinning her around, he laughed and laughed and laughed. It grew louder each time and almost seemed to make the hallways grow lighter and the air become less heavy.

"Oh gosh, Lily, I was scared you were lost," he exclaimed taking her face in between his hands, "Wait until James hears!"

James…he would be the most excited about this. The most excited that he was no longer with a broken girl. Lily didn't quite realize that James would love her no matter what emotional state she was in, but she soon would and didn't need to at the moment.

Lily nodded enthusiastically and spun in several circles in the spur of the moment. Her arms out-stretched to the world. It was like she was welcoming everything back into her life. She was Lily Evans. She was Head Girl, Girlfriend of James Potter, Future Auror, and the Fifth Marauder.

"Hop on my back, Sunshine." Sirius said with a smile, he was met with another nod of the head.

Lily jumped onto his back and he shot of down the hall, swerving and zig-zagging. Lily's laughter rang loud and clear, and it made those wandering the halls smile. Lily's puzzle was put back together. At last.

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James Potter was trying to study for his NEWTs that were quickly arriving when he heard a loud and familiar laugh from the hall a ways from the library. He turned to Remus, who was studying at his side, with curiosity in his eyes. Finding out who was laughing was certainly more interesting then studying goblin rebellions and wizard wars. Remus frowned, not wanting to get his hopes up. What were the chances that the laughter belonged to their Lily? Not high.

It still didn't stop James from leaving his seat and venturing into the hallway. His footsteps carried purpose and most definitely determination. That laughter better come from Lily because he really needed some happiness. Still, the notion seemed a bit out-there. What he saw made him thinking he was imagining things.

There was Sirius running straight at him with a girl who had fiery red hair on his back. Obviously the laugh was coming from her. It _was_ Lily. Of course, who else in the school had hair such as that? She was probably one of the most recognizable people in all of Hogwarts. He locked his eyes with hers and saw them alight with mirth and joy…was he dreaming? He sure hoped not.

James could tell he wasn't by the look on Sirius's face; he was equally bewildered, yet ecstatic all the same. Still confused, he looked back at Lily expectantly, tilting his head to the side. Yes, James had gotten as good at silent communication as Sirius. Lily nodded and hopped off of Sirius's back, slowly walking towards him.

Remus was talking quietly to Sirius behind him as Lily stopped a foot away. He could smell her strawberry shampoo and he felt the urge to brush his hand through her hair with the close proximity. That hair was his weakness. Scratch that, originality was his weakness and that hair was the most original thing he'd ever seen.

"James," she said, her eyes sparkled with unshed tears; they didn't seem full of despair though, they almost seemed happy.

"What is it?" he asked giving into his desire and tangling his fingers in the hair on the back of her head, bringing her a bit closer, it was just enough.

"They were there James," she whispered, leaning up to his ear.

There was no need to whisper for they were the only ones left in the hallway. Sirius and Remus had taken the hint and left minutes ago. Still, James didn't mind one bit.

"Who, Lily?"

"My parents," she softly spoke, almost hesitantly, as if he would rebuke her.

Her lips brushed his ears with her words and he involuntarily shivered. She pulled back a step.

"Well…not really," she muttered playing with his fingers and spreading them out on her hand, "but I could feel them, they're watching over me, James."

She looked up at him and searched his hazel eyes with hers, looking for an accusation that what she said was insane. His eyes always amazed her. Every time she looked at them she discovered something new that made her grin. They were a light caramel color that sparkled behind his wire-rimmed glasses that she secretly found adorable. Tiny specks of grass green dotted his iris and Lily almost saw purple lingering in the little dots. Yes, his eyes awoke the butterflies in her stomach ever time they were met with hers.

"I know, Lily, I know they are," he said gathering her small frame into his strong arms, one hand still in her hair.

She breathed a sigh of relief. She could depend on James, she could tell him anything. His scent of hot chocolate and cinnamon enveloped her, making her feel safe and wanted. She buried her head deeper into his chest and she felt a kiss pressed to the top of her head. It was so very James that it made her lips upturn in a small smile.

His kisses were always at the right times, in the right places, for the right reasons. He never kissed her on the forehead, cheek, or even on the lips just because he could. She wasn't his trophy as she once thought she would be if she gave into James Potter. It made his kisses special and meaningful.

"I'm going to be okay," she mumbled into his robes.

"I love you, Lily," he whispered in reply, resting his chin on her head.

"I love you too," she said for the first time.

It's taken six, almost seven, years for her to say those words. Better late then never.

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**I hope you enjoyed it, I like this chapter a lot. No, this is not the end either even though it would work if I wanted it too. I predict maybe 5 more chapters…at least 2 more. I already have a good idea for the next one, but yes, things are going to start winding down. I also predict a sequel in the future! Whether that's going to be created right after Life of Lily I don't know yet. Please Review!**

**-Sweets5236**


	29. Happy Memories and Standing Together

**Edited: June 26, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

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Shuffling nervously into the room, Lily inhaled the ever so familiar scent of blueberry body wash and coconut-lime perfume. The scent assaulted her senses and made her hands tremble. It was like coming back from a long trip. Before the adventure you went on you never noticed a particular smell or feeling, but as soon as you came back it hit you full force, yet it felt right standing there in her old dorm room.

It almost stung as she relived some of the best years of her life behind closed lids. Her eyes fluttered open and she breathed in the scent once again and scanned the room with purpose. Not much had changed, not much at all.

Even the way the hard wood floor felt against her slippered feet felt exactly the same, as did the lightness of the air and the feeling of being "home".

She could practically see all the times when Alice had tripped over her bed hangings or Marlene had sleepwalked into the dresser in the corner of the room. It had been quite some time since Lily had stepped into the dorm they used to share.

Usually the students got moved into a different dorm as the years went by, but Lily, Marlene, and Alice had pleaded with Professor McGonagall for days about letting them stay in the same room. She finally gave in on a day that the Marauders accidently blew up the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. She was far too frazzled to argue with them about it again and had other matters to work about such as how to get all the splintered wood out of the wall. That had probably been the first time the girls were thankful for the Marauder's presence.

Thus being said, the same nail polish stains and burn marks from spell practicing adorned the walls and floors as they did years earlier. The only thing missing was the scent of Lily's strawberry shampoo, which had slowly disappeared with her move to the Head's dorm.

As strange as it sounds the smell of Alice's body wash and Marley's perfume mixed with Lily's shampoo was wonderful. The girls had even tried combining them all together in a bottle to create their own trademarked body spray. Of course it ended in blue and pink goop everywhere and a sickening extra dose of coconut-lime that lingered on them for weeks.

Lily also thought about how many times they had all sat on the floor cross-legged telling ghost stories with their wands lighting up their face like muggle flashlights. Alice found the idea amusing and rather entertaining, but Marlene had been purely confused as to why someone would shine light onto his or her face. It was even stranger to her that they did it while telling scary stories. Nevertheless she had been a good sport and had dutifully held her wand in front of her face while whispering of a haunted tavern infested with ghouls.

The stories they told were definitely better then the Marauders' which were either "pee-your-pants-terrifying" or about something as stupid as loosing your hair gel. You could guess who told that one. Sirius never had much of an imagination and it was usually limited to his hair. Still, Lily always found it funny when he freaked out when he couldn't find his purple "lucky comb". She knew for a fact that sometimes James and Remus hid it when they were bored and wanted something to entertain them.

Lily jumped at the sound of the door shutting as someone came into the room from behind her. Brushing aside her, two figures came and stood to her front, looking a bit surprised.

"Lily?" asked Alice incredulously.

"Yeah," she whispered looking to the floor, forgetting all the things she had practiced saying to the mirror that morning.

She had been there with purpose, but suddenly that purpose disappeared from her mind and all that she felt was guilt. Just as she had thought things would go smoothly too. Lily had been the one who suggested going to talk to them, but James was the one who kept reminding her to do it. After all, with her new found confidence it should have been a breeze to talk to her best friends, but apparently she had been wrong for her stomach felt queasy and a bit of light headedness was added on the side.

Marlene, who was with Alice, dragged Lily over to the middle bed she used to occupy. It was cold and the blanket was stiff, signaling that it's previous occupant hadn't been in it for a long time. Alice pulled the other two beds into the middle as they used to do during thunderstorms as little third years.

Lily thought of how many times lightning had struck the sky, lighting up the room and giving everything a glowing outline. The thunder was the worst though. It drove them to push the beds together and create a fort of sorts underneath the covers. They lit their wands and held hands. Lily always told fairy tales with happy endings to distract them from the chaos outside.

As the years went by the need to do so distinguished. Nevertheless a tradition had been made so the beds were always pushed together before they drifted asleep to the crashing and flashing of Mother Nature's orchestra.

"So…how's life?" Lily asked, staring at the covers, not daring to look them in the eyes yet.

The bright Gryffindor theme was as vibrant as ever, it was almost an exact replica of the bedspread in her dorm. The only difference was that this one had a giant roaring lion emblazed in the center, the symbol at Hogwarts that stood for bravery and pride. Still not looking them in the eye, Lily traced the mane of the golden lion with her finger, picking at several stitches.

Apparently she didn't have a choice as to whether or not she had to look at them because Alice pushed her chin up and held her in her gaze. Lily was instantly met with icy blue. She forgot how pretty Alice's eyes were, it'd been a while since she looked straight into them. It's actually been a while since she looked into anyone's eyes besides the Marauders.

She had grown used to James's interesting hazel that she could stare into for hours, Remus's night-sky blue that was full of intellect, and Sirius's light silver always alight with mirth, even Peter's mousy brown eyes were seen by her more often.

"What's wrong, Carrot?" Marlene said softly, using the nickname she bestowed to Lily in fourth year.

It had been a long time since Lily had heard it and the ache inside of her grew larger. She had never realized how much she missed the girls. She remembered the day the nickname was created fondly. The three girls had been sitting in a triangle on the floor talking about how much the Marauders annoyed them (ahhh, the good old days) when Marlene said,

"What's up with those stupid nicknames anyway? I mean, Prongs? What the heck does that mean!" she threw her arms up in the air with frustration.

"You know, what?" Alice said, "We should think of stupid nicknames too!"

"LILY'S CARROT!" Marlene had instantly yelled without a second wasted.

"W-what? Why do I have to be carrot!" she had responded fingering her red hair, knowing it was the reason for the outburst.

" 'Cuz I've always wanted to call you carrot without you getting mad at me, duh,"

"Fine, whatever" she had pouted, something she wasn't very good at.

"Ooo! Another idea! Alice can be knarf!" said Marlene with equal enthusiasm.

"What does that mean?"

"Frank spelled backwards, of course! What else would it mean," she replied as if it was the most logical thing in the whole world. No one was surprised when Alice blushed crimson and Lily guffawed.

"No, Ali, you can be Cornbread!" Lily exclaimed with mock brilliance, tugging on her friend's hair while at it.

The other two girls gave her a strange look and collapsed in giggles on the floor. It was true, Alice loved cornbread and went through it like water, but the thought of it used as a nickname was amusing to say the least. Still, it made more sense then anyone being call "Wormtail".

"Cornbread, Lils, really?"

"Well, I just thought that…oh never mind, I guess it is kinda silly, isn't it?" she said starting to laugh herself.

"Well, Ali _is_ obsessed with cornbread….it could work," Marley said rubbing her chin, it brought on another round of laughter.

"Okay so I'm Cornbread, Lily's Carrot, what about you Marley?"

"I think I'm fine with my own name actually," she said in between her giggles.

The next morning the girls had emphasized the use of "Carrot" and "Cornbread" in front of the Marauders. Based on the looks they were given they wouldn't have been surprised if the boys thought them completely insane.

Lily's nickname "Carrot" was the only one that stuck and even then Marlene only used it when they were having girl talk. Lily relished in the happy memory behind closed eyes. Happy memories from the past were far better then regretful memories from the present. Lily found herself striving to live with happy memories. She opened her eyes again, this time looking straight at Alice and Marlene.

"I'm sorry," she strongly said, pure genuine emotion flowed through her voice like caramel. Her goal of correcting things reappeared in her mind.

She was met with confused looks from the other two. While they processed her sentence a list of all the things Lily had done to them ran through her mind. She had left them, stopped confiding in them, telling them everything.

She didn't tell them of her first kiss with James like the giggling teens they were supposed to be. She didn't relate the story of the day Sirius and her had gotten into a flour fight in the kitchens and how Lily had received her first detention when McGonagall caught them. She also didn't tell them how Remus slept walked one night and ran into the couch, startling everyone awake. It caused them to whip their wands out and throw about fifty different hexes at him, earning Lily her second detention from a half-asleep Flitwick for being too noisy.

"I-I'm sorry I abandoned, you, left you for some boys that we used to hate. I'm sorry I've been such a wimp all year, always crying and thinking myself pitiful. I'm sorry I ruined your perfect seventh year.

Ali, we-we were supposed to make Frank Longbottom fall in love with you and Marley, we were going to prank the Marauders together." Her eyes brimmed with tears, "think of all the things we didn't do because of me. I wrecked everything just because I wasn't strong enough, because I wasn't enough of a Gryffindor,"

"Not enough of a Gryffindor?" Marlene whispered, "Lils, I always knew you were crazy." She finished shaking her head. Her dark curls bounced with the movement.

Lily looked up questioningly, brushing a stray strand of hair out of her eyes. Alice answered her look.

"Lily, you lost everything important to you in a single night. Everything. You're parents, your sister, and the predictability that has always been there. Still, you didn't give up; you stabilized yourself best anyone could with something like that happening.

"It took you two months to be okay. Two months Lils. That's nothing. It takes others two times that, years even. Right when you got past it your walls crumbled around you again and I know why Lils." She said in a haunting voice, a tear spilling over and dripping off her nose, onto her clenched hands in her lap. " It wasn't because you hurt that death eater, of course it wasn't. You thought that you somehow disgraced us by putting your emotion into that fight on New Year's, you thought we didn't care about you anymore because of what you did."

"You were wrong Lily, you were so wrong," Marlene said choking on her words with her own tears, "No matter what happens, we'll always be there, Lily, always. _We_ abandoned _you_ because we weren't able to convince you that you're our sister."

"But I left you! I left you because I was scared!" Lily sobbed.

"No Lily, you didn't!" Alice cried, shaking her shoulders, "you didn't Lily, _we _left you because _we _were scared. We were scared we wouldn't be able to help you!"

"You are the bravest Gryffindor I know Lils," stated Marlene.

"I'm sorry, I-I just…I missed you guys so much," she concluded, finally saying what she had been wanting to say all night.

The others nodded and just like in a cheesy chick flick hugs were passed around with several more mumbled apologies. Lily didn't know what to think. Her heart swelled with blooming joy and her realization that things were going to be okay returned to her. Euphoria coursed through her veins, making her slightly dizzy and nauseated.

"Let's fix things, yeah?" Alice said wiping her tears away with one hand, her other grasping Lily's.

"We need to make a pact of sorts," Marlene said with similar motions.

"Okay…Let's promise to always trust each other," started Lily. Alice continued,

"To always be there for one another with a cheesy joke or shoulder to cry on,"

"And to remember Hogwarts as the place that built us up to become who we're supposed to be. Promise to remember that we got through it _together_ and if we're going to win this war, that's the only way it's going to be done." Marlene added.

"Together, I promise" Lily repeated to the nods of the others.

##########

**Yay! I can't believe how great this turned out, personally I thought it wouldn't work. Anyway, tell me what you think pretty please! And thanks to all of the reviewers I already have, I'm always prepared for new ones though haha. **

**-Sweets5236**


	30. Pet Names and Stars

**Edited: June 26, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

That night a whole wave of catching up crashed over all of them. They talked faster then they had in ages and the hand motions were five times their usual gestures. Exaggeration seemed to have been invited to the party too.

The information was like fuel that ran through Lily, making her feel complete. Another piece put together. There was still one missing though, it was something she couldn't quite put her mind on. Like having your favorite cereal on the top shelf and not being able to reach it by an inch. It was frustrating, yet when you figured out you could jump to get it, the success was sweet. Sadly, Lily hadn't figured out she could "jump" yet.

"…and then he picked me up and threw me in the lake!" Alice exclaimed, waving her arms around wildly. She had been relating the story of her and Frank's last date where they had both taken an unexpected midnight swim.

"Oh gosh, Ali, that boy sure is full of surprises, but enough about him," Marlene tapered off, turning to Lily with a mischievous glint in her eye, "I think we'd all rather hear about a different boy. Is he as good of a snogger as everyone says he is?"

Alice giggled uncontrollably and Lily blushed crimson and took no time throwing a large pillow in her friend's face.

"Oh shush, you," she said shaking her head.

"Not until you answer the question," Marley replied in a singsong voice.

"Fine, talk all you want. I'm choosing not to be forced into talking about this," Lily said with fake haughtiness and a giggle.

"I see it's a lost cause for now, Marley," Alice sighed, "now tell us, Lils, what have you and the Marauders been up to?"

"Everything" she instantly replied, and it was almost true.

"I heard this rumor that our Little Miss Perfect got her first detention, care to prove it wrong?" Marlene asked.

"No, that'd be lying actually…I got my first and second detention both in the same week," Lily said smugly as if it was an accomplishment, and for her it was.

"Oh Lils, we're so proud of you!" Alice squealed, tackling her in a hug.

It wasn't that Marlene and Alice thought getting into trouble was a good thing, they just thought that Lily needed to loosen up a bit. More fun and less backbreaking books were her perfect medicine. Sometimes studying would get you nowhere in life, experience taught a large amount more.

"What did you do!" asked Marlene bouncing up and down on the bed.

"I may have accidently had a flour fight in the kitchens with Sirius…McGonagall caught us,"

"Hello ladies, did I hear my name?" asked the suave voice of Sirius Black.

A broom was slung over his shoulder and James and Remus zoomed into the room behind him while Peter tripped over the top step and slid down the slide turned stairs.

"I see you figured out how to get past the charm," Alice noted, pointing to the brooms.

She was referring to the charm on the stairs that turned them to a slide every time a boy tried to climb them.

"Yep, figured it out the second week of first year," Remus said with a glint in his eye.

"So, what brings the infamous Marauders to our dorm, huh?" asked Marlene.

Taking it as an invitation to get comfortable, the boys sat on the floor. James and Sirius sandwiching Lily as they have done so many times and Remus on Sirius's other side. Peter once again stumbled into the room and shyly sat next to Marlene.

"Infamous? Should I be offended, McKinnon?" Sirius asked dramatically, acting hurt.

"Probably," the three girls said at once with a chorus of giggles.

"Come on, Sunshine, we all know you're secretly in love with me," he said slipping his arm around her shoulder.

All though she made no move to remove it, she sarcastically replied, "Suuurrreee Sirius, that's exactly why I'm dating James," she threw in an eye roll at the end.

"There going to get stuck like that, Pumpkin," laughed James.

"Pumpkin, really?" she asked turning to him with a small smile

"Like you could do any better," he retorted.

"Oh yeah, Stud Muffin? Bring it on,"

"Sugar Lips,"

"Cuddlebuns,"

"Sweet Cheeks,"

"Precious," this one caused Sirius to bust up laughing, that idea that Lily would could James "Precious" was too much.

"Foxy,"

"Googly Bear,"

"Sweetpea,"

"Romeo"

"Juliet"

"Macho Man,"

"Why, thank you, Carrot Top," James said pulling her onto his lap and tickling all sense out of her.

"Surrender!" he yelled.

"Never!" was her response between her laughter.

Sirius turned to Remus and grinned.

"Ahhhh, young love…it's sickening,"

Everyone laughed at the comment and Lily yelled a loud, "I surrender, I surrender! Not under my knees!"

"I guess we all know Sunshine's ticklish spot, now don't we," Sirius said evilly.

"Blackmail," sung Alice.

More laughs were passed around and several held their sides, trying to subdue the pain from an over worked laugh box. Collapsing in a heap, they all lay on the floor looking at the ceiling. Lily was reminded of the night in the Room of Requirement when they had all similarly collapsed on the floor after their pillow fight.

Sirius waved his wand and a starry sky appeared above their heads, perfectly displaying the constellations. Everyone sighed at the sight.

"We should've been friends earlier," Remus whispered.

"What do you mean?" asked Alice, turning to look at him.

"I mean, why weren't we all friends in fourth year? Or third or second? We haven't changed all that much," he replied.

"We kind of have actually," said James, "I was quite the idiot in my previous years,"

"Nah, you were just too hung up on Lily to start thinking," Sirius said laughing.

"Yep, you're the one for me, Darling," James said turning to her.

Her head was resting on his arm and the slight turn of his head made their noses touch. He searched those familiar green eyes and found himself lost in them. Her scent of strawberry shampoo made him smiled widely, earning him a smile from her in return.

"I know you guys love staring romantically into each others eyes and everything, but we don't want a songfest on our hands," said Marlene cautiously, looking at the couple with disgust.

"Way to ruin the moment, Marley," blushed Lily.

James planted a sloppy kiss on her forehead and turned back to the ceiling-turned-sky above them. Silence enveloped the group and each member was lost in their own thoughts. It was Alice who broke the silence.

"So…what next?"

The question was emotion provoking and not as simple as it sounded. They all knew she was referring to what would happen once they left the safety of Hogwarts. They all knew she was asking what would they to help the panicked wizard world. Lily took the opportunity to finally speak her newfound occupational dream.

"I'm going to be an auror," she whispered.

The heads of Alice and Marlene shot up and looked incredulously at their friend. Lily was surprised the Marauders didn't do the same. Sirius answered her silently thought question…he knew her too well.

"We already knew Sunshine was auror material," he said laughing gravely, "she may not have told us she wanted to now, but we've all come to terms with it no matter how much we don't like it,"

Yes, the thought of their Lily having a chance of getting mortally injured terrified the wits out of them, James more so then the rest. Still, they knew it was what she was made for. Lily was a brilliant fighter.

"The Marauders will be out there with you, Lils," James responded.

"You know what…so will we," Marlene declared.

Her and Alice had contemplated the idea of being am auror several times, both finding more good things about it then bad. Now was as good a time as any to make their decisions. Seeing as Alice made no move to say otherwise, she was on board too.

It seemed strange that all of them wished for the same occupation, but their reasons were purely Gryffindor to say the least. They just wanted to help.

#########

**I know this chapter's a bit short, but I really like it! Please Review.**

**-Sweets5236**


	31. Strawberry Shampoo and a Note

**June 26, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**##########**

That night the seven of them fell asleep on the floor of the girls' dorm. No blankets or pillows required. Hestia Jones, who had been having a sleepover with her Ravenclaw friends, was quite surprised when she walked into the dorm in the morning to find a bunch of guys asleep on the floor with her dorm mates. Nevertheless, she had smiled slightly and left the room with a change of clothes, not wanting to wake them. She was glad they had finally found that they needed each other.

Her smile was quickly replaced by a sigh. She had to admit, the world was a mess, but if anyone could do anything to help, it would be them. Never had she seen such determined Gryffindors. If only there were more like them.

##########

"Lily?" James asked, not taking his eyes off the brilliant blue sky. A few white clouds dotted its canvas, creating a strangely entertaining picture that could hold James captivated for hours.

"Mmm?" she hummed in response, also lost in the swirling sky. He turned towards her.

How he had won the heart of someone so beautiful he didn't know. Her mane of hair was splayed across the grass, contrasting sharply against the dark green that almost matched her eyes. Just almost though, her eyes were at least two shades lighter and had little dots of yellow, making them three times as gorgeous.

She was wearing the jersey Sirius had gotten her for Christmas and it was already worn and wrinkled, a sign of how much she cherished it. Every time she wore it Sirius would ruffle her hair, look to James and say.

"Sorry mate, but I think she likes my gift better," James would respond with,

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Padfoot",

The lettering on the back was starting to come off, but recently Lily had charmed it to stay intact. The fifth Marauder, it said, a title she deserved while Marlene and Alice may as well be the sixth and seventh.

They were a family. James remembered a particular conversation he about it with Lily. She had been searching through a dictionary, trying to find words to confuse Sirius with (a favorite pastime of hers) when she came across the word "family". Its definition angered her slightly and made her eyebrows furrow.

She had instantly stormed over to James, who was lounging in a chair, and thrust the book into his face.

"What?" he had asked.

"Read it…" she whispered.

His eyes had trailed down the page until they stopped on a particular word, the one she had been previously looking at.

"They don't do it justice, do they?" he asked in a small voice, feeling what she was feeling.

She shook her head and crawled into his lap had she had done so many times before. She squirmed around a bit before laying her head down on his shoulder and peering into the book with him.

"Any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins." She murmured.

"It's wrong you know," he whispered into her hair, planting a kiss on top of her head once the words were spoken. "We're a family…all of us,"

"What do you think it means James?"

"What means?"

"Family,"

"I…I think it means…someone, or a group of people, that…that you'd do anything for. People that you live for. People that make you smile when you see them that can see through all your walls."

"It's the people who will stand by us, forever," Lily had finished, her eyes drooping with sleepiness. Slowly, they had both nodded off, thinking of what it _really_ meant.

James grinned weakly at the memory, savoring the feeling of it, the warmth it had brought.

"I love you," he said, trying to push as much as he felt for her into those three little words. They seemed miniscule and not big enough.

"I love you too, James," she said, turning her head to look at him.

"Say it again," he whispered, sliding closer and slipping his arm under her head. The grass tickled the spots were his shirt rode up.

"I love you, James Potter, is it that hard to believe?" she giggled.

"You're a vision, Evans," he said, "why am I so lucky?"

"I think fate likes you, Potter," she whispered. Their noses were touching and James could feel her breath on his lips.

The bright sunshine beat down on them, warming every particle of their being. The soft laughter of other students also enjoying the Sunday air drifted over to them like music. The sounds of Sirius and Marlene splashing around in the lake were heard and every once in a while Remus would comment between the pages of his book.

Lily and James were lying together a ways off, close enough for the others to see, but not hear.

She leaned in and her lips brushed against his, sending sparks through the both of them. Lily grinned and was about to turn away when James pulled her closer and dived in for another kiss, this one not so innocent. He couldn't get enough of her and kissing her felt right.

Once James pulled back she turned over and snuggled closer to him, reveling in the warmness of him.

"Have you heard from your sister, Lils?" he asked.

"No…but I don't need her anymore, not really,"

"Good,"

"I have you," she said turning back to him with a smile.

"I'm glad you know that Lily…it's really important," he said, his voice cracking. "I need you to know that I'm here for you, Lils, always and forever."

"Don't you think it doesn't go the other way either, James, I owe you,"

"For what?"

"For…for everything. For comforting me, for convincing and teaching me…for loving me,"

"Hmmm," he said nuzzling his nose into her hair, breathing in her wonderful scent.

"Strawberries," she whispered.

"What?"

"My shampoo…it's strawberries."

"I've noticed," he responded.

"Do you know why?"

"There's a reason?"

"When I was a little girl we had a giant garden separated into two sections, a section for flowers and a section for food that we'd grow.

There was always one plant that stumped me though…it was the strawberries. Yes, they were considered food and probably belonged in that section, but I thought the flowers were so pretty. It's because they weren't trying to be, I think. They were so simple, yet made me smile.

I looked forward to those blossoms every year. I even convinced my mom to plant them with the other flowers. Eventually they had their own section there were so many of them. I loved coming home after going to the park and smelling those strawberries baking in a pie or sitting out on the table for me to eat." She said wistfully.

"What does that have to do with your shampoo, love?" James asked, twirling a lock of her hair around his fingers fondly.

"Patience, James, I'm not finished," she shushed, "Now, as I was saying, I loved those strawberries. In the winter the mere thought of them was the only thing that got me through and I longed for the scent of them again. Then one day I sent my mom to the store to get me more shampoo. She bought strawberry scented shampoo so that I would never be without the scent of them, no matter what time of year," Lily said, finishing with a laugh.

"Lily…would you like a strawberry garden?"

"What?"

"Lils…I want to spend forever with you…now might not be the time for that, but eventually, yes. I'm asking if, when that time comes, you'd like a strawberry garden."

"Yes, please," she muttered like a lost child.

##########

"Oi! Prongs! Save some for the other human beings!" yelled Sirius as he watched James pile treacle tart onto his plate in large scoops full at dinner that night.

"Hate to break it to you Lily, but you're no better," Remus said laughing at her plate that was piled with chocolate pudding.

She grinned and stuck her tongue out at him before digging into the giant serving. The clatter of forks ad knives echoed through the Great Hall and the loud sound no longer bothered Lily. She turned to Marlene too see her flicking peas into Sirius's hair without him noticing…she was on the fifth one.

Lily turned to James and pointed to her friend's spoon catapult and the green dots of food in Sirius's hair. They both shared a wide smile and tried to muffle their laughs best they could.

One particularly large pea dropped onto Sirius's head and he finally looked up at the ceiling in confusion.

"Hey guys…its it raining?" he asked, ruffling his hair. At the motion all the peas fell into his lap and the group exploded in giggles.

"You should have seen your face!" Marlene guffawed.

"Five whole minutes, seventeen peas, Padfoot, and you didn't notice," Remus added in.

"Oh shut up," Sirius said, not able to suppress his own laughter, he threw a grape at Marlene while he was at it.

She, in return, used her spoon catapult to launch the grape at Lily's face. Lily was busy tossing cherries at Remus though. James, wishing to defend his maiden, chucked a walnut back at Marlene while Remus dumped a whole bowl of chocolate chips down Sirius's back.

Soon all kinds of food sprinkled the floor around them and their laughs were many. That is, until McGonagall came to investigate.

"Mr. Potter, would you please stop throwing food at Ms. McKinnon? Detention, all of you. Seven o'clock tomorrow evening, my office." She said strictly.

Then, before she walked off, she dropped a note in the middle of their group and returned to her table. The note was addressed to all of them, the Marauders, Lily, Marlene, and Alice in swirly green handwriting.

James snatched it up before the others could and read it out loud for them all to hear.

_Please visit my office tonight, eight o'clock. I wish for all of you to come as I think it shall benefit you greatly._

_P.S. I am particularly fond of acid pops._

There was no mistaking the handwriting of the letter, and they all knew whom it was from. The only problem was that they didn't know what it was for.

##########

**Ta-da! Please Review :)**

**-Sweets5236**


	32. Chocolate Cake and the Order

**Edited: June 26, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

Twenty minutes to spare. Twenty minutes. Surely he could make that, thought James as he navigated his way through the twisting hallways. He had been sent on a mission to find some chocolate cake in the kitchens for Lily and Remus who said they would "explode if we went a day without chocolate!" Lily also requested there to be strawberries on this super fattening cake. Perhaps it was too make her feel better about eating it.

Nevertheless, James had exactly twenty minutes to get the cake and return to the Head's dorm where Lily and Remus would have to scarf it down within five minutes. Otherwise they'd be late for the ever-so-important meeting with Dumbledore.

With that thought hammered into his mind, James turned the corner and narrowly avoided running into a person traveling in the opposite direction.

"Sorry, I…" he started, but trailed off when he saw who it was. His muscles instantly tensed.

Severus Snape was standing before him, greasy hair and all. He looked a deal paler then usual (if that was possible) and his face was sunken and shallow. The usual smirk was gone from his eyes and he looked…sad, depressed even. Perhaps even a little scared. The boy's hand flicked to his pocket where his wand surely was. A flash of black was seen on his wrist, no doubt the dark mark. James had spent the last two years of his life trying to avoid this particular seventh year.

The reason for this was because James was scared his temper would get the best of him. That boy had hurt his Lily numerous times now, yet James could see the way he looked at her and it was curious that someone who could be so cruel could love someone as pure as Lily. Maybe that was why Severus felt that way though. Maybe she had made him feel like a better person then he was, but those were only guesses on James's part.

Lily had once been a major part of Severus' life and that had been cruelly ripped away from him. True, it was partially his fault, but it was also partially James's. This caused guilt to mix in with his anger creating more of an annoyance and a dose of pity for the boy.

"Snape," he said curtly. The other boy looked confused in return, he obviously had his "thinking face" on.

Everyone had one. Lily scrunched her nose up and bit her lip, Remus looked up at the ceiling and furrowed his eyebrows, and Sirius looked like he had been hit with a body-bind hex.

Snape's facial expression turned a bit too threatening for James's comfort in the next few moments. He scanned James over as if trying to read his mind and James smartly avoided direct eye contact due to the fact that Snape probably had a small knowledge of legilimency.

"If you hurt her, so help me, I'll…" he started, his inky black eyes flashing.

"I won't" James whispered, instantly catching on.

"What?" asked the boy, puzzled at the quick answer.

"Listen, Snape, we're both in the same boat here,"

"What'd you mean?" Snape said interrupting quickly.

"I know, Snape. I know why you care so badly, why you won't let her out of your sight while she's in it," James said. Snape's face fell. "I wont tell her," James whispered in return.

Yes, Severus Snape was in love with Lily Evans and James could tell he was in deep, too deep. It would likely cause him a lot of trouble in the future.

"Why, Potter? Why won't you? Why aren't you going to tell her and ruin me like you've always wanted?" he asked squinting his eyes.

"Because I know what it feels like!" James almost yelled, getting angrier. "I know how it feels to love someone who doesn't love you back."

"Well, that's not a problem now, is it, Potter." Snape spat.

"But it was and that's my point. To see her sneer at me whenever I walked by or shoot me down without a second chance hurt me so bad. It was only worse because I knew she knew how I felt and she didn't want me anyway. I reckon she's too oblivious to realize what you feel,"

"Well maybe she'd be with me if you hadn't butted your head in Potter! Have you ever realized that?" Snape yelled.

"How is it my fault, Snape? HOW IS IT MY FAULT?"

"YOU STOLE HER FROM ME!"

James scowled deeply at this. Stole her? If he was correct he didn't _steel_ anything. Lily was most certainly not an object that could be owned. It had been her choice and her choice alone. There really was no way James could _force_ her to love him. With the exception of a love potion, that was.

"Did you ever realize that you broke her heart, Snape? Before she had even thought about thinking of me."

"You forced me to say it and you know that," Snape whispered in a deadly voice, stepping closer with his wand out.

He was of course speaking of that horrendous time after their OWLs in fifth year when Snape had called Lily a _Mudblood_. It was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"You just stated your own problem, I didn't _force_ you to do anything. If you hadn't met Lily before school she would be just like all the other muggle-borns you call that foul name." James stated.

He then turned another corner as fast as he could before Snape could say another word. The anger had been bubbling inside of him and it was dangerously close to its boiling point. For Lily's sake he decided he should refrain from hexing Snape and sending him to the Hospital Wing.

James shook his head and tickled the large pear on the door to the kitchens. Perhaps he'd pick himself up some treacle tart with that chocolate cake to snap himself out of his newly formed bad mood. The only problem was that he had five minutes…it would have to do.

##########

"JAMES! WE HAVE TWO FREAKING MINUTES! WHERE'S MY CHOCOLATE!" screeched Lily as soon as the portrait to the Head's dorm opened.

"I'm sorry, love, just ran into a bit of trouble with a few misbehaving sixth years." James lied while quickly sliding the chocolate cake onto the table in front of a tired Remus. It hurt him to be dishonest with her, but it was for her own good.

The full moon was in two days and it was starting to get to their werewolf friend. Chocolate was the best medicine though. The forks clattered to the table and both Lily and Remus quickly snatched up the forks.

Lily, unlike Remus, had no reason to really need chocolate, but apparently it was a necessity before going to see Dumbledore. James figured that it must be a way to reduce the nervousness that was probably welling up inside of her.

"Must have been Benjy Fenwick again, right James? That boy is sure a handful, and at sixteen too! No worse then you were I suppose," Lily rambled as her and Remus hungrily dug their forks into the cake on the table shared between them.

Her ramblings were one of the things James loved most about her though. They only surface in the times when she felt stressed, but nevertheless, it was extremely attractive. When James had told this to Sirius he had exploded in laughter. Apparently that wasn't normal.

James laughed nervously. Luckily Lily was to busy eating to notice his uneasiness. Sirius on the other hand looked up from his game of chess with Marlene and quirked an eyebrow. He shrugged in reply and smirked as he watched Marlene's bishop demolish Sirius's queen.

Alice applauded good-naturedly from her spot next to Marley. James decided that the only reason Marlene was winning was because Alice was whispering all the correct moves into her ear.

"HOLY PEANUT BRITTLE! IT'S TIME TO GO AND MEET DUMBLEDORE!" yelled Lily frantically as she jumped out of her seat, causing it to tumble to the floor.

They all watched in amusement as she hurried to wipe all the chocolate crumbs off her face and then dragged Remus out of his chair and to the door. Sirius turned to James and mouthed her words back to him, creating a fresh fit of silent laughter. Lily paused when she got to the door and then turned around.

"Are you coming or not?" she asked.

They chose that moment to release all the built up laughter that had been stored inside of them. Lily's pet peeve was obviously being late for things and as much as they knew it really bothered her, it was hilarious in every way.

Still laughing, the others grabbed their things and marched out the door after her.

"Peanut brittle? Really Lils?" James whispered in her ear, coming up behind her. She blushed.

"Force of habit…" she muttered.

"No worries, at least your exclamation is clean," James said, shooting a look at a grinning Sirius who was listening to the conversation.

"It's not my fault I grew up around vulgar language," he said almost too innocently, laughing while at it. "So what do you think old Dumbles wants from us?" Lily whacked him in the arm.

"Show some respect, Sirius!" she said angrily causing James to grin. Sirius and respect should never be together in the same sentence.

As soon as they got to the giant stone bird protecting Dumbledore's office, James spoke the password and they all walked up the steps silently. Different scenarios where running through each of their heads as to why they were called to his office. They ranged from being crowned "Hottest Guy at Hogwarts" to winning a Noble Prize (even though it was a muggle things). You could guess who thought each one.

The Marauders also thought that there was a small chance they were getting in trouble for something. But then again, when was the last time they had pulled a Dumbledore worthy prank? Their most recent mischief included itching powder and raspberry jam…it's not like any serious harm was done.

"Enter," Dumbledore's strong voice spoke as Alice knocked on the door.

They shuffled in nervously and waited for him to speak, each glancing at the other with question.

"In these increasingly dark times, one must be prepared to face the world…protect it from harm. Sadly, not everyone has the potential to do this. In you seven however, I understand that you have the ability to do great things." He said, peering at them from his spectacles. He paused for a long time, wanting the information to sink in.

"With all due respect sir, what else is it you wanted to talk to us about?" Lily asked after several minutes of awkward silence. It was making her jumpy.

"The Order of the Phoenix," he replied calmly.

The words spoken were filled with an air of confidence as if it were a prized possession. It still left no clue to what this thing actually was though. It could be a law passed or a building that had been formed to serve a purpose that somehow pertained to them.

"The what?" asked Sirius, leaning in as if he hadn't heard the man.

"The Order, Mr. Black, is a unique organization specializing in work towards the defeat of Lord Voldemort and his followers. Filled with the most elite members of the wizarding society, the Order, which is apart from the Ministry, assists in the captures of death eaters and similar undercover work. I want you all to realize how very secretive this is." He said gravely.

A jolt of adrenaline ran through Lily at the very thought of it. He was asking them to join. Her, Lily Evans, was being asked to join a secret organization. Not only could she help the world by becoming an auror, she could also work in the background even further. If there was one thing she loved, it was a good mystery to solve. Similar thoughts ran through the heads of those around her.

"I'd like to join," Lily immediately said with that look in her eyes. It was the look of a Gryffindor.

"Of course, Miss Evans, that is why I've called you here. While you _are_ of age, we do not allow members to join until after they have graduated Hogwarts. I have notified you of the Order now so that the time to consider this offer is a substantial amount."

"Well the answer isn't that hard to come up with, sir" James said.

"Ah, but Mr. Potter, I dare say it is. By joining this organization your life is put on the line. If you were to be caught, by the ministry or death eaters, consequences will be distributed. Things can also become quite…intense when working with us. The world is a scary place." He stopped talking and a shiver ran through Lily had his words.

"Have you asked others at the school, sir?" Remus asked.

"Yes. At least two students from each house we've considered and they will soon be told as you have." The man said, nodding.

"Slytherins included?" Sirius asked skeptically.

"Sadly, the Slytherin house doesn't quite apply to this due to suspected activity pertaining to the forces we are _against_. Any other questions?" The room was filled with silence and many knowing looks. "Very well, you shall all be contacted as soon as school is over. Choose wisely and do understand, don't tell anyone."

They all nodded and stood thinking for a moment. Lily took the first move and rushed out of the room, eager to discuss the option. The others followed.

As soon as they were down the stairs, the talking started. Seven different voices were heard as they expressed their opinions all at once.

"Imagine! Being part of a secret organization!"

"It seems a bit dangerous actually."

"Do you think they asked Hesita?"

"End of year! That's in forever!"

"Guys…you guys, be QUIET!" yelled Lily over the noise. They all stopped talking immediately; Lily easily had that kind of effect when she yelled.

"One at a time…what do you think Padfoot?" asked James, deciding to assist her in taking control of the situation.

"I up for kicking some death eater butt, I don't know about you guys," he said looking around with a grin on his face.

Yes, the thought of avenging his friends and sending his family to Azkaban had its perks. He couldn't wait to see the look on Bellatrix's face.

"Alice?" asked Lily, looking to her friend. The girl was playing with her hair and staring at the strands.

"This could be our chance Lils, to make a difference. I'm terrified out of my wits, but I want to help," she stated strongly, looking Lily in the eyes. She was also wondering whether Dumbledore was considering asking Frank, she couldn't very well keep a secret like this from him if she were to join.

"I'm with Alice and Sirius. Sure, we'll become bigger targets then we already are, but how much worse can it get?" said Marlene shrugging.

Peter nodded timidly when Lily turned to him. He obviously was extremely nervous and looked as if he were about to pee his pants. She decided it was enough and lastly turned to Remus who looked puzzled.

"Why would they want me?" he asked.

"Why wouldn't they, Remus?" Lily asked. His eyes flashed and realization dawned on Lily. Remus was a werewolf; it was common for her to forget. He obviously found that fact a key reason as to why he _shouldn't_ have been invited into the Order.

"You know perfectly why!" he huffed, turning his back to the group. She walked over to him and pulled him into a strong hug.

"Don't you want to help?" she whispered in his ear. He nodded. "That's all you need. The _want_. That's why they could use you Remus, because when someone wants to do something, they tend to get it done." She pulled away and smiled sadly at him.

The chances of Remus getting a job with enough pay to get him along were slim. Thanks to a law put out by Dolores Umbridge (who the Marauders have called by a different name that wasn't very appropriate) it would be impossible for him to snag an occupation without them knowing of his condition. Sadly, the world was too prejudice to not care. It hurt Lily to know that Remus didn't feel wanted. Sure, the Order wasn't a job, but it would keep him occupied.

Silence engulfed them all for several moments as they contemplated the state of the world. New people died at the hands of Lord Voldemort every day, those with a characteristic that set them apart from the rest were shunned, and Hogwarts seemed to be the only safe place for children to live without fear. Where had everything gone wrong? It was a universal question that would bring a frown to the face of all.

"I think we should include the boys in our promise, Lils" said Marlene after some time. She nodded.

"We stick together, yeah?"

"Of course, Sunshine, that's what friends are for." Sirius said with a cheesy smile while slinging an arm around her shoulder.

"Voldemort better prepare the best he can. He only has two months before the Marauder's get out of Hogwarts, he's in for a surprise," James whispered to the grins of the others.

"Oh yes, I can just picture Sirius turning his robes pink in a duel," said Marlene, breaking the tension with her giggling.

They all laughed along with her, but on the inside, they couldn't help but be a bit intimidated. If only courage came in a bottle…a bottle that was labeled something other then Firewhiskey, they couldn't very well be drunk while fighting Voldemort.

##########

**Review and tell me what you think! Thanks a bunch :)**

**-Sweets5236**


	33. NEWTs and Pink Streamers

**Edited: June 26, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

"James…James…JAMES POTTER GET OVER HERE!" stuttered Lily as she stared at the bulletin board in the Gryffindor common room.

James, who finally heard her shouts, casually walked over to see a shaky, pale Lily. Instantly his mind shot to the days where she spent her time avoiding people and constantly needed a hand to hold.

Luckily, once he saw the board for himself, he calmed down. She was just being the same old Lily Evans he had always known. It would probably be best to run for the hills though because she was sure to catch a hard cold case of the LPSD's. This was a sickness unique to Lily and stood for Lily's Paranoid Study Days. One could easily guess what that meant.

This illness consisted of a book ALWAYS clutched in her hand, staying up until five in the morning writing practice essays, and constantly asking those around her to quiz her on the questions.

It also meant that Lily practically lived in the library. Therefore, it was the only time Madam Pince didn't like her. This was probably because of how many times Lily had arrived to her library with a pillow and blanket in hand.

Yes, that's right Hogwarts, NEWTs were in two weeks time and Lily Evans had only just realized it. The problem was that not once had Lily opened a book all year to study for it. This year's case of LPSD's was sure to be amped up to an extreme.

Surely it was a problem, but Lily took things in this subject quite seriously. It was all because she needed _purpose_. It seemed that the only way to have purpose once out of Hogwarts was to get a job. This is what drove Lily to become the maniac she was during the end of the year. If she didn't get the right grades to get the right job, every ounce of purpose she had would disappear.

"Hey Sunshine, what's wron-" Sirius said. He paused to look at the notice Lily was willing to burst into flames with her eyes. "Never mind," he quickly muttered before spinning on his heel.

He then took to weaving his way through the small crowd in the Gryffindor common room to escape the soon-to-be wrath of the redhead. Obviously he had just created a target out of himself. Sirius cursed himself for his lack of tact.

"WAIT! SIRIUS! COME HELP ME STUDY!" she shouted after him, but resorted to tackling him to the ground before he was able to get through the portrait hole.

Lily was plain scary when it came to studying and everyone knew this by heart. Older years had taken to warning the first years about it the day after they had arrived.

"I-I'm sure Remus can help you study Sunshine," he wheezed from under her, "you're constricting my airways!"

"Are you calling me fat, Sirius Black?" she questioned sharply, squinting her eyes.

"N-n-no, not at all…it's just that…" he paused, trying to come up with a quick excuse, not wanting to meet her temper.

Half the common room snickered at the sight of Lily besting the great Sirius Black. The other half was hurrying to leave in case they met the same fate.

"Lily, get off of Sirius," said a bored James coming to the rescue.

With a pout on her face, Lily stood and crossed her arms. Her eyes nervously darted around the room, looking for another possible study partner. Sadly, it was deserted by that point and all had fled to their dorms or other parts of the castle with the hopes of staying away from the head girl.

"But Jaaammmmeeessss," she finally whined, "who'll study with me? NEWTS are in TWO weeks! I'm going to fail. There's no way I'll pass. I'm going to fail and never become and auror and then I'll have to live in a cardboard box and beg for money and,"

"Lily, calm down! You're not going to live in a cardboard box!" James yelled, throwing his arms in the air.

Luckily, Remus chose that moment to walk into the common room. His plan was to grab a good book and curl up in the front of the fire, but he knew that other things were in store for him when he saw the looks on his friends' faces.

James and Sirius appeared elated at the sight of him and kept glancing from Lily to him while Lily nervously paced the room and muttered to herself.

"Ummm…hi guys," he nervously spoke.

"REMUS! Save us from this…this _studier_!" wailed Sirius dramatically; he was instantly shut up when Lily glared at him.

"NEWT's are in two weeks and Lily here just figured it out," James stated, pointing to his crazed girlfriend.

Remus instantly paled. James frowned, realizing what he had done a moment too late. He should of known the reaction he would get from the sandy haired boy; after all, he had lived with him seven years.

"T-two week! Oh my goodness! I haven't studied. It's not a possibility that I'll pass! I'm going to fail and my miniscule chance of getting a job will become even more miniscule and I'll have to live in a cardboard box and beg for money,"

"Hey! I got an idea! Maybe you and Lily could share a cardboard box…it'll save you a few cents!" exclaimed Sirius sarcastically while holding back his snickers.

"NOT FUNNY, SIRIUS!" both Lily and Remus yelled at the same time. Remus turned to Lily.

"Think the library's still open?"

"Already ahead of you," she replied as she dashed to the door with Remus close on her tails.

The two dashed through the castle before finally arriving at the library where they quickly collected a five-foot stack of books and got to reading. Their eyes were glued to the pages and the occasional question was passed between the two.

Lily was trying desperately hard to absorb the information through her eyes while Remus was trying to gain a photographic memory by blinking a bunch of times at the pages before him.

It was going to be a very long day.

##########

Sirius turned his head and looked around the room once they had left. Not a soul was in sight. He really needed less intimidating friends. He almost laughed when he realized that his most alarming friend was a girl.

"So umm…do you think we should study too?" James asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

Both boys turned to each other after a few seconds and collapsed with laughter. The thought that they'd actually pick up a textbook was amusing to say the least. Somehow James and Sirius had gained to ability to hear something once and forever remember it. Therefore there was no real need to _study_.

"Well…now what?" asked Sirius once their mirth died down.

Standing there in silence they realized that they were quite used to hanging around Lily and Remus and surprisingly they seemed lost without them. James ran through the list of their options in his head and came to the conclusion that if they couldn't annoy two of their friends, they might as well find another two to annoy.

"We could track down Alice and Marlene?"

"Sounds like a plan," grinned Sirius.

##########

The sun was beating down on Hogwarts in just the right amount so Marlene and Alice quickly took the opportunity to dash outside and bask in the enjoyable sunlight. Nothing like an early summer tan, Marlene had said. Both were rooting for the sun to leave an impression that didn't freckle or burn.

The serenity of it all was wonderful and the silence was a welcome change. Most students were inside studying for end-of-year exams, but both girls had decided they could hold it off for a day.

Sadly, their peace was short lived for the shadows of two boys soon came along and blocked out all of their glorious, worship-worthy, sunshine.

"Hello ladies," Sirius said grinning (the opposite of the girls' expression). That appeared to be his catch phrase.

"Get out of our sunlight, Black," snapped Alice, sliding her sunglasses down her nose to get a better glare out at them.

Sirius grinned. Alice had definitely come out of her shell that year. The once amazingly shy, blushing blonde of Gryffindor now had gut. Several times the school had seen her defend younger years with a strong air of authority and a nasty temper. No one dared to do wrong in her sight. Some thought that it was brilliant that Alice had opened up. Others were terrified because now Alice had almost the same amount of temper as her two best friends, which meant three times the trouble for the troublemakers.

Sirius suspected it had something to do with her long time boyfriend, Frank Longbottom. That kind of thing tended to bring out the confidence in a girl. Sirius wouldn't be surprised if he proposed soon. He and Remus actually had a bet on who would get married first, Frank and Alice or James and Lily.

"No need to get angry, Prewitt," he chuckled, sitting next to her. James took the spot beside Marlene.

"So…what're you doing?" James asked after moments of awkward silence.

"Well, we _were_ sunbathing," Marlene said, obviously annoyed. She slipped her sunglasses back on and lay back onto the grass. Alice followed her motions.

James and Sirius both sat there, waiting for them to somehow contribute to a future conversation. Several minutes later and they had still made no move to do so. James impatiently tapped his foot on the ground, while Sirius thought of the possibility of the sun damaging his hair.

"So Marley," he started.

"Shut up, James," she said monotonously, not even bothering to out emotion into the statement.

James blew his hair out of his eyes and stood, motioning for Sirius to do the same. His friend nodded in reply and they both made their way back to the castle, relatively bored out of their minds. It was a sad day when their friends didn't want them. Technically Remus and Lily had never shunned them, but they'd rather be bored then _study_ of all things.

"Where do you think Wormtail is?" James asked after a moment of thought.

"No idea," Sirius said, amusing himself with a leaf he picked up. He was currently trying to rip the sides off without damaging the center strip.

"Think he has a secret girlfriend?" James asked, watching his friend with amusement.

Just as they had earlier, both boys turned to each other and laughed about the absurd idea that was in no way possible. Call them bad friends, but the last time Peter had a girlfriend was in their third year and she had only been dating him to get closer to Sirius.

"Prongs…I think we're stuck again," Sirius stated once they stopped laughing.

"Ooo! Idea!" James shouted.

"What?"

"When was the last time we pulled something on McGonagall? I mean, really think about it Padfoot." James said. Sirius was silent for a couple minutes.

"Oh my gosh, James! How could we have forgotten about Minnie! She must miss us so much that it hurts at this point!" Sirius exclaimed, forgetting how un-manly it must sound.

"Actually, she saw us this morning in Transfiguration. Remember? She got mad at you for throwing paper airplanes at the back of Amos Diggory's head?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I think it's time we caused some mayhem," he said evilly.

Professor McGonagall better watch out, the Marauders hadn't forgotten about her just yet. Two of the Marauders that was, one was suffering from RISS's (Remus's Insane Study Sessions) and the other may or may not be off with his secret girlfriend that he couldn't possibly have.

##########

The next morning both James and Sirius woke up feeling jittery and excited to see the reaction of their favorite professor. Their class was her first so there was no way she'd be able to take it all down before they arrived.

True, the slight feeling of abandonment from the day before was still present, but the adrenaline of their latest prank easily overwhelmed it.

All through breakfast the two couldn't help but giddily glance over their friends to grin at each other. The last time they had pulled a real prank of this size had been on Halloween, all the way at the beginning of the year! The feeling of causing mischief had almost left them completely and the accomplishment felt even greater this time because of it.

Lily would have described this feeling as zooming down a steep rollercoaster. Your stomach dropped and an extremely large smile couldn't be kept off your face no matter how hard you tried. Considering how neither James nor Sirius knew what a rollercoaster actually was, they couldn't compare the feeling of pulling a prank to anything.

That was partially what made it special though. It was a unique sensation to them. Just like how even if a rollercoaster made you sick and you still wanted to go back on. Getting a detention didn't stop the Marauders.

Unknown to them, the looks they sent each other didn't pass by Alice or Marlene. If Lily and Remus hadn't had their heads in a charms book while shoveling cereal into their mouths, they probably would have noticed too.

"You guys…"Alice said, her eyes darting between them, "you're kinda starting to scare me…just a little bit,"

"What're you up to," Marlene whispered, getting straight to the point.

"Nothing whatsoever, love, just excited for Transfiguration is all," Sirius said. Marley blushed at the phrase.

"Right…Transfiguration…suuuurrreee," said Alice shaking her head.

Tired of their antics, she turned back to making pictures on her plate with her toast and bacon.

James grabbed Lily's arm from underneath her book and looked at her watch. She didn't even blink as it was something he did often. Id didn't even occur to him that he was given his own watch for his seventeenth and that it was on his arm in that moment. Ten minutes until class started. Sirius turned to look at him and nodded with a twinkle in his eye. They both stood.

"Ready for class?" James asked his surrounding friends.

In response the group stood and made their way out of the Great Hall with the rest of the retreating students. James couldn't help but practically skip out, dragging Lily behind him. Somehow she was still immersed in her book. He always knew girls were good at multi-tasking. Then again, Remus seemed to be doing just as well.

#########

Lily's eyes widened as she walked into the Transfiguration classroom. She was met with an unbearable amount of florescent pink that quickly induced a small headache. Streamers were strung over every inch of the room (literally) and a giant banner covered the area above the professor's desk. It read, "We love you Minnie! –Padfoot and Prongs".

The short yet laughter creating message was surrounded in red hearts that seemed to be singing all kinds of nonsense.

A further look around the room and Lily saw a bowl of lemon drops on the edge of every student's table. Not one was missing a white lace doily underneath it. The one thing that made Lily's eyes hurt the worst though was the flashing pink ceiling with matching revolving disco ball.

A round of giggles escaped her mouth and soon she was doubled over along with the rest of them. She felt like she was a third year again laughing at the time Sirius got soup dumbed over his head by Emmeline Vance, a Ravenclaw in their year.

Remus appeared to be trying awfully hard to reprimand the two culprits, but was failing miserably for every time he saw the bowls of candy over their shoulders he would have to stop himself from laughing.

As students walked into the room and took their seats, similar reactions came from all of them. The fact that they were seventh years and should be "more mature" was completely erased from their minds. The loud sound of someone yelling was the only thing that snapped people out of their endless giggling.

"POTTER! BLACK! MY OFFICE NOW!"

Just like in years previous, another detention was handed out yet neither boy felt guilty. It just made them realize that everything was back to normal. It also shown light on the fact that the opportunity to pull another prank was becoming slimmer and slimmer. School was going to end eventually and it seemed to be coming too fast for most of them to handle.

Soon, they would be out in the real world. Finding jobs and money would become the main concern rather then how much studying you could cram into one day.

This realization dawned the most on both Lily and James. James discovered that if he wasn't careful, he could very easily lose his Lily out in that world. Lily on the other hand was more focused on how easily everything could crumble so easily. In reality, the ideas were both very similar to the two.

##########

**Oh gosh guys! I was so sad about this story ending I decided to throw in a prank to compensate. ONE CHAPTER LEFT! Oh and I apologize for the blandness of your compensation, I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Please Review!`**

**-Sweets5236**


	34. Proposals and Pineapple

**Edited: July 15, 2012**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**##########**

"Last patrols of the year," Lily murmured as her and James strolled down the long hallways of Hogwarts.

"Crazy, yeah?" he responded, swinging their intertwined hands between them.

The two were participating in the last time they would ever patrols the halls for snogging couples or third years hoping to become the next Marauders. All year these patrols had been interesting, but nothing to really fret over. They had at first included witty banter and some awkward silence and towards the end of the year there was usually a kiss or two shared between hallway intersections.

Nevertheless, it was still _another_ eye-opener to how quickly the year was coming to an end. The Hogwarts Express would soon leave the station, pushing the graduated seventh years into a new world.

Exams had been completed the day previous and it only took Lily and Remus thirteen and a half hours of sleep each to erase the bags under their eyes from studying late into the night. All were happy to finally be able to have a conversation with the two without a book between them. James had almost forgotten the color of Lily's eyes!

"Hey, Lils?" James asked after a moment of silence.

"Mmmm?" she answered, seemingly contentment with their easy patrol.

"I love you,"

She turned to look up at him, grinning widely. Her emerald eyes sparkled; almost out-doing Dumbledore's usual twinkle, and James had to grin at the few stray curls that were poking up on her head. She squeezed his hand before answering.

"I love you too, James," she turned to look at a passing window, her gaze trained to the inky blue sky and suddenly she cam to a halt, enchanted with the outside, "Don't you just love the stars? They're so…so…constant, always there. It's almost like they're trying to make you laugh by winking at you and trying to outshine each other."

In that moment Lily looked the most beautiful James had ever seen her. She was happy, glowing even, and she loved him. She pulled him to the window and plopped onto the ledge, her knees hugged to her chest. She looked so innocent, staring at the stars like that.

No matter the innocence, James could still see the resolve behind her eyes. It had been there for a very long time now and he had recently realized what it was for. He believed that look would be in her eyes until the war was over, or at least until she could do all she could do. Lily Evans would be a force to be reckoned with.

If there was one thing that James had noticed about her in the past month or two that she'd been herself, it was how incredibly strong she was. No longer was she the weepy girl with red-rimmed eyes.

What she was now was almost hard to explain. If James were to try he would say that she radiated energy, positive energy to be more specific. Her magic was ten times stronger then it had been and was full of _light_. Her laughter was contagious and traveled so easily through a room that it reached the ears of all who were present.

The thing he noticed most about her newfound endurance, however, was the fire that burned in her eyes when the subject of the raging war outside the walls of Hogwarts was brought into a conversation. The fire was full of determination and maybe a flicker of pain. The pain was for those who would suffer through this war and maybe even pain for how much it had affected her. James suspected she was ashamed of her reaction to her parent's death and the battle on New Year's.

He was right though. Having broken after all that had happened; Lily still couldn't help but feel weak. If she hadn't been able to shoot a curse at a death eater without passing out, how was she supposed to become an auror and pursue battles like those every week?

Deep down she knew she could do it though. She knew that if anyone was going to help the outcome of this battle, it was her because she knew what the outside world was like. She knew how cruel it was and she was prepared with the best thing possible, experience.

At times she had almost thought her parents' death had happened for a reason. Perhaps her parents were best off being spared from the darkness the world had been engulfed in and perhaps it also helped Lily so that she could try and bring the world out of this darkness. Anything that happened to her now would surely feel like a paper cut after the explosion she felt after the tragedy. Now she was strong, now she could face anything.

Sitting with Lily there on that ledge, James could see all of this in her eyes, the eyes that were wistfully scanning the dark horizon for their chance to make a difference. His heart swelled and, being caught up in the moment, he said the most romantic thing a guy could say in a moment that wasn't quite as romantic as he had hoped for when he envisioned speaking the famed four words.

"Will you marry me?"

##########

"Sirius…why is your hair pink?" Remus asked at the sight of Sirius as he walked into their dorm.

"It's _magenta_, not pink!" Sirius shrieked.

"That's completely besides the point!"

"Wanna, help me steal Professor Slughorn's pineapple?" Sirius asked while sifting through his trunk for the map. Remus grinned when the doggie grooming kit Prongs gave him for Christmas flew out of it.

"Once again, that has nothing to do with my question!"

"We were playing truth or dare over Christmas break and the timer on the jinx was messed up. I, being an idiot, assumed I was home free when I didn't turn red and magenta after not stealing Professor Slughorn's pineapple, but obviously I am not 'home free' as I currently resemble a strawberry. Unless I want to be like this FOREVER, you need to help me sneak to the dungeons without getting caught."

He quickly stood and made his way to James's trunk. After opening it and throwing almost all of its neatly packed contents out onto the floor Remus decided to willingly help him rather then risk getting dragged into it by force.

"If you're looking for the cloak, James has it," he sighed while calculating the odds of getting caught in his mind.

"We'll just have to travel without it then," Sirius responded while peeking around the door down the stairs. "Moony, go make sure no one's in the common room, this could ruin my reputation!" he hissed.

With another sigh Remus jogged down the stairs taking two at a time. His eyes scanned the room and then landed on a head of curly brown hair. The girl looked up and her matching eyes were twinkling.

"He's magenta, isn't he?" Marlene asked.

"Just his hair…rest of him's red." Remus responded easily, "How'd you know?"

"I could hear his scream from my dorm. Lily told me about the dare and I figured it would happen sooner or later," she responded. Remus chuckled.

"Would you like to help us?" he asked.

"Sure. Why not?" she said shrugging her shoulders. Remus smiled gratefully and called up the stairs.

"It's clear!"

A loud crash sounded as Sirius was seen tumbling down the many steps, taking several books with him. He hopped up once he made his descent and brushed himself off.

"Stupid books," he was heard muttering. Marlene laughed loudly causing his head to shoot up. "MOONY! I thought you said it was clear!" he hollered.

"No worries, Black, I'm on your side," Marlene said in reply. Sirius just shook his head.

"Think you can keep up with the Marauders, McKinnon?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

"I'll do my best," she shrugged, before taking the lead and walking out the portrait hole.

Sirius and Remus rushed behind her while whispering battle plans between them. Once their method of stealing the sacred pineapple was decided, the three were engulfed in silence as they adventured down the many moving stairs of Hogwarts to get to Professor Slughorn's room in the dungeons. Sirius broke the silence first.

"So, Marley, do you think Sunshine and Prongs are actually patrolling? Or are they snogging in some deserted hallway?"

"Ha! No idea Black. Perhaps James is pronouncing his undying love for her and getting down on one knee…who knows."

"They're going to quite mad if they realize we were able to get all the way to the dungeons without being caught on _their_ patrol," chuckled Remus.

"Not to mention how James will be mad that he didn't see me looking like a giant firecracker," Sirius added.

"Yeah, red's a good color on you, Sirius," Marlene said joining the banter.

"Why thank you Marley!"

"Oh and James needn't worry, I snapped a picture of you with Lily's camera back in the common room when you weren't looking," she said smirking at Sirius's horrified face.

"Well, all embarrassment aside, we're here," Remus stated, stopping in front of the door to heir potion's classroom.

Sirius hesitantly pushed the door open and scanned the room for the sight of their teacher. Luckily for them, he was nowhere to be seen. Sliding in the doorway, Sirius dropped to the ground and rolled along the floor, making a pretend muggle gun with his hands while humming the theme to a spy movie James showed it to him the year before.

"Eww, Sirius, get off the floor. That's disgusting!" Marlene grimaced at the sight of him and chose to walk instead of roll. A decision Remus followed.

Sirius jumped back up as soon as he got to Slughorn's desk and smoothly pulled the drawer open that contained their professor's prized candy. As soon as his hand touched the package, a loud, ear-splintering wails pierced the air.

"Caterwauling charm!" yelled Remus over the noise.

"I am so out of here!" Sirius responded, grabbing the bag and running out of the room.

The three made it out just in time though for Professor Slughorn ran into the potion's room as soon as they had disappeared into a nearby passage way. He gasped at the empty open drawer and flicked his wand to stop the intense wailing.

"My pineapple! Who would take my pineapple?" he sleepily muttered while walking into the hallway. "Must be dreaming…yes that's it, this is all a bad dream." He concluded, yawing widely.

Sirius had to cover his laughter; their potion's master was in for an unpleasant surprise in the morning. He looked down and saw that his tanned arm was just that, tan. With a grin, he held the box of crystalized pineapple in front of Marlene and Remus.

"Pineapple, anyone?"

##########

"I can't believe you guys did that," Alice said shaking her head while packing the last of her things into her trunk. She was referring to last night's pineapple rendezvous.

"As amusing as it would have been to see Sirius red and magenta forever, I think we all would've missed his hair," Marlene said in response. Alice paused for a moment.

"Yeah you're right," she said nodding in agreement.

"In less then a hour, we'll be leaving Hogwarts. How insane is that?" Marlene said, brushing her hand over the familiar blue nail polish mark on the floor.

Her words were true and the whole school was feeling the bit of sadness that came with leaving Hogwarts. It was a whole different story for the seventh years though because they weren't coming back. By that point everyone had packed and was either sobbing goodbyes and promising to write or already walking down to Hogsmeade station.

The seventh years had chosen their paths. Dark or Light, to fight or be fought.

Alice nodded sadly and dragged her trunk out of their dorm with Marley at her heels. They both paused before making their way down the stairs, taking in every inch of the room they'd grown to love so much.

"Did Lily say goodbye?" Alice asked, referring to their room.

"Yeah she came and jumped on her bed for the last time before she went on patrols last night. She should be meeting us by the front doors."

With a nod, Alice finally tore her eyes away and sat on top of her trunk, riding it down the stairs, as was tradition on the last day. She laughed when she saw Sirius doing the same thing down the stairs that led to the boy's dorms.

"Ready to leave, Prewitt?" he asked, slinging on arm around her shoulder.

"Not quite…I'll manage though," she said with teary eyes.

Frank, who was supposed to meet up with her before they left the common room, came down and latched onto her hand while Sirius walked around her to flirt up Marley.

"We've half an hour, better go meet up with James and Lily," Remus said, running a hand through his hair. He too was a bit intimidated by the thought of leaving Hogwarts.

The other nodded in response and the group walked out the portrait hole for the last time, focused on finding James and Lily rather then that thought.

As soon as Lily's mane of red hair came into view next to the front doors, Marlene and Alice both rushed her, almost causing her to topple to the ground. Sirius was the only other one of the group to run up with them while Remus, Frank, and Peter decided to _walk_ down the hall like "civilized" beings.

"Oh gosh, Lils! We're leaving!" moaned Marlene.

"What are we going to do?" sobbed Alice.

"I'M GETTING MARRIED!" Lily yelled as soon as their hugs loosened.

"Wait…WHAT!" yelled Sirius from behind them. The girls separated and Alice finally let out the girly shriek she had been holding in.

"Ahhhh! You're getting married!" she yelled taking Lily's hands and jumping up and down.

James chose that moment to trudge around the corner dragging both his and Lily's trunks.

"Gosh Lils, what's in this thing, rocks?" he said panting before dropping them to the ground.

His face took on a form of amusement at the sight of Lily, Alice, and Marlene jumping around in circles. He figured instantly what had caused the commotion and a shot of happiness ran through him at the very thought of it. He was getting married to Lily Evans. She said yes.

"PRONGS! YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!" yelled Sirius before tackling him to the ground.

"I KNOW!" he yelled back, equally loud.

"WHY'S EVERYONE YELLING!" Remus inquired in the same matter as the three of them got to the group.

"LILY'S GETTING MARRIED!" Alice shrieked.

This caused three more people to be yelling and jumping around, creating an insanely loud hallway. Students stared at them in awe, wondering how only seven people could so much noise. Others were passing around money they had bet on Lily and James.

Eventually, Professor McGonagall rounded the corner, set on distinguishing the noise. Her plans were instantly forgotten when Sirius practically pounced her.

"THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED!" he yelled, swinging the strict teacher around.

"Very well, Black," she replied yanking his arms off her. She couldn't keep a small smile off her face though. Flitwick owed her thirteen galleons. "The train leaves in fifteen minutes so you all better get to Hogsmeade,"

"Right-o Minnie! You're invited to wedding!" James hollered as the group skipped out the front doors, filled with excitement.

"Yes, Congratulations Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans," she said shaking her head. She was going to miss them, but she'd never say it out loud.

##########

"Lily! Show us the ring!" squealed Alice as they found a compartment on the train.

Lily grinned widely and waved her left hand in front of her friends' faces. On her ring finger was a small wedding ring drawn on with color-changing ink.

"It wasn't exactly planned," James said, running a hand through his messy hair, " so that's the best I could do at the moment."

"Oh, an impromptu proposal, how romantic," sighed Marlene, collapsing in the red leather seat.

"No ring? Really Prongs?" Sirius said, whacking him on the back of the head.

"Wanna be the best man?" James asked.

"What kind of question is that? I thought it was implied with the marriage," Sirius smirked while taking the spot next to Marlene.

James laughed and sat next to his best friend with Lily on his other side. Remus, Alice, Frank, and Peter all squished into the seats across from them. Silence followed as they all thought of what would happen next. Job applications had to be sent, wars fought, and a wedding on top.

"How are we going to do this?" Marlene sighed, referring to life without Hogwarts.

"The better question isn't how…it's what. What are we going to do?" Remus said with equal distress.

"I know," Lily muttered, smiling up at James, her fiancé.

"Yeah, Sunshine?" asked Sirius over James.

"Yeah. We're going to face the world fighting. Together."

##########

**Thank you so much to my amazing reviewers/readers! Send me a review about what you think of the story no matter when you read it; I'm always looking for a boost. The sequel "Face the World Fighting" is being updated frequently and I encourage you all to check it out :), thanks again!**

**-Sweets5236**


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